LH: In the back of my HD mind is the fear of impotence. I am 45 and I have to admit, am not as horny as I was a few years ago. What if I manage to get H up to speed and then can't perform? Also I worry about her menapause. When that starts does that mean it's all over anyway? I often wonder what it would be like being married to an HDW like you. Would we live happilly ever after, at it every night? Or would one of us get tired of it and gradually become LD? SD
Thats another problem added on for the HDH. The LDW can fake it. The LDH cannot! And its mental, the more they worry about it or the more pressure they get from their wives, well, I guess the worse it becomes. Your hypothetical question is funny. Now lets see, if I were married to a HDW, I probably would be considered LDW. About 15 years ago, when I was younger, naive and stupid I was drawn into a R with a married man. I didn't know it then though I do now. He had a SSM and his LL was physical touch and words of affirmation. Thats probably why I got so infatuated with him. Anyway his M had gotten into a point where he had lost most of his confidence, he would say, "You would get bored with me after a while", "If I wanted to sleep naked with my W she would probably tell me, go put some clothes on, you'll catch cold." I regret the R because it was a stupid thing to do getting involved with a M man but it was wonderful to have your LL met and not just one LL but both. He said all the things I loved to hear and since it was a long distance R, he would write letters 10 pages long. I love getting letters and H has only given me one card after all these 11 years we've been together! I still keep it of course and would take it out during occassions to tease him about not getting me any more cards, said I would have to frame it up but he still doesn't get it.
LH, Believe it or not men can fake it! I faked it all last year. We ML 3 times and each time it was so obvious by her body language that she just wanted it overwith that I just made the right sort of noises and finished. I made a new years resolution that I would aim to ML with her once a month this year at least and that I would make every effort to improve the quality. So far this year the quality has been better and last week she actually agreed to once-a-week which is fantastic. We did miss this week though but for good reasons. I also had a brief R with an HD woman who had the same LLs as me (the usual HD "Physical Touch" and "Words of Affirmation"). It never got sexual but it was lovely feeling female hands on my body and hearing her say all the things I longed to hear from my W. It all ended because I was not prepared to leave my family and she was a woman of action and didn't have time to wait for me. SD
Menopause does different things to different women. I myself went through it, or am going through it the past couple of years, although early. I haven't changed much. But then, I am the HD spouse. Think I became even worse No "monthly visitor" ya know? JMHO
I don't know if this is true, but I thought I read somewhere were menopause actually amplifies the previous sexual drive, so yes, according to this, LD women become even WORSE and HD women become even Higher Desire.
God, I hope this is not true. Honestly, whats the point of being married to a women that does not want sex?
I have heard of women becoming more sexual when all the activity (monthly thing) stops. No more fear of becoming pregnant. Is your wife going through it now? It can be a little overwhelming. I know I went through really bad Hot flashes, hell sometimes still do I took a natural supplement that helped with it. Us women with our hormones can be a real pain, I know *sigh*
Annette, No she's not going through it just yet (we are both 45). I am trying to get as much as I can crammed in just in case it gets even worse. As usual CeMar, you say just what everyone else is thinking! SD
I am only 48 dear, I started going through it like 3 years ago. But hey, if she is not even starting to have symptoms of menopause, I wouldn't worry bout it till that time
HD wife/LD Husband. Reading these posts is most upsetting. I don't see much hope of people changing. I have been with my husband 33 years. My last child is leaving to go to college next Fall. We think we've sold our house, and the thought of buying a new one with him makes me sick. I feel like I'm dying inside. Thought menopause would kill my sex drive but it hasn't. Plus, my H doesn't like touching, and he's not that nice to me...considering. I think he likes to keep things less intimate so there's no chance I can expect sex. I actually love my H but I feel I have no power in this relationship. I figure at 54, if we separate I'll probably be alone, but I think it's better than feeling alone when you're with your spouse. If there is anyone out there who has solved this problem without just killing off their own sex drive, I'd like to hear from them. TO YOU MEN, IT'S HARDER BEING AN HD WOMAN WITH AN LD MAN BECAUSE SOCIETY DOESN'T ACCEPT THAT. My girlfriends are always talking about how much sex their husbands always want, and I just sit there smiling but crying inside. HOW DO I KNOW I'M NOT JUST A COVER AND MY HUSBAND IS GAY INSTEAD OF LD.
About 15 years ago, when I was younger, naive and stupid I was drawn into a R with a married man. I didn't know it then though I do now. He had a SSM and his LL was physical touch and words of affirmation. Thats probably why I got so infatuated with him. Anyway his M had gotten into a point where he had lost most of his confidence, he would say, "You would get bored with me after a while", "If I wanted to sleep naked with my W she would probably tell me, go put some clothes on, you'll catch cold." I regret the R because it was a stupid thing to do getting involved with a M man but it was wonderful to have your LL met and not just one LL but both. He said all the things I loved to hear and since it was a long distance R, he would write letters 10 pages long. I love getting letters and H has only given me one card after all these 11 years we've been together! I still keep it of course and would take it out during occassions to tease him about not getting me any more cards, said I would have to frame it up but he still doesn't get it.
No "monthly visitor" ya know? JMHO 
I took a natural supplement that helped with it. Us women with our hormones can be a real pain, I know *sigh* 