Oh Mighty! So much has happened over these last few days. Take your time. No rush. Keep focusing on you and the kids. Glad S is doing better.
You are awesome. I'm cheering for you with big Pom poms !!!!!
3 kids BD 12/15/13 (IDKIILY. ) Rope dropped Cirque du Soleil style D final 9-9-14 "Some people are born on 3rd base and go through life thinking they hit a triple." Barry Switzer
Mighty, I am happy to hear things are progressing. Can I make a suggestion? Keep your eyes on the long-term and not the short term. There's still choppiness ahead.
And be careful providing advice. Things work in square circles for these kinds of episodes. Two steps forward, one step sideways, cha cha cha.
Glad your kids are doing well and that you're still healing. And that you're getting the chance to heal together with ex. Don't forget about the alone time though. It's a lot to handle and might be better absorbed if you have that recharge time.
Just a few thoughts.
AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
Whew! Thanks guys. Yes, AJ... I need to make sure I give myself some sufficient alone time. I can't lose that. I need to stay focused and not get off track. I was on the right path, and I don't want to falter.
HWW was still blowing up xh's phone today. I know one thing is that she said he $hit on her son by not coming over last night.? She is so clueless. Why does he owe her son anything. And why would he leave his kids for hers. And if that is $hitting on her son, what do you call what she did to his kids?! She is amazing. I have never heard of such a thing. Never in my life have I come across someone so self absorbed. Ever.
I didn't realize she kept texting him. He just informed me he was going over there. He said she has accepted it and needs closure and they need to figure out what do do w house.
I have that everyone runs to her. She is a master manipulator to get what she wants.
I'm glad he was honest. I am uncomfortable. This is very difficult, especially because of how she is. Pity party for one. Ugh. I want to go and give her a reality check, but that would do no good.
He said he just needs to do this. If it's a set up he will leave. But he just wants the craziness to end. He said it has been a year of chaos for him, for me, and for the kids, and he just wants it to end so he can focus on the kids.
I wonder how long this will be. I am cooking now & doing things, but I have a put in my stomach. But, at least I'm in a safe place, not really having to deal w the drama.
Oh yeah, I asked xh if HWW was talking a lot of crap about the counselor from hs. He said oh yeah. I laughed and said that it was funny that she is still angry about her hs bf getting a bj yrs ago, but she can't figure out why I'm "still angry" bc it's been so long. OMG she may be the dumbest human on earth.
Ok, deep breaths, prayers, and dinner. Stay focused!!
I sure wouldn't let your son see that counselor anymore.
As for all this drama with HWW... you realize, if this does turn out to be H's kid, that this will not end....it'll go on for the next 20 years. Think long and hard before committing yourself to that.
Yup. I know that and haven't committed to anything. I think I could be there for him for support, but I did tell him that this is too toxic for me. I also said that one month this may not be over.
She is a nightmare. He's still there. It's been over an hour. Oh well. I'm trying not to let it bother me. Doing stuff around the house, good music playing, candles burning. I know I'm in a good place. Don't know what's next, know it's not going to be easy, whatever it is, but I am just trying to remain as level and grounded as I can. Being in a place I like. Giving myself personal space to enjoy myself, peace, life, all that jazz!
Mighty, has it occurred to you that your ex needs to finalize things with hww? Keep perspective - this is his mess. He NEEDS to take care of it. This is part of his growing up and finalizing his own issues.
I'm not in that position, but I would think it's in everyone's best interest if he cleans it up without anyone else helping.
She'll move on to her next victim before too long. Your ex may take a bath on the house and in other ways financially. It's a hard lesson to learn.
Let's see how he handles it shall we? And then wait a few days to see how it plays out.
AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
My hat's off to you!! You came out of this sitch with guns blazing and who won? Yeeesss...you did. YOU!
You might want to read up Train's threads over in Infidelity and Raine's in MLC. Since your H's at the stage where he's opening up more and more about the affair, I think this is also a good time to check out Dear Peggy website and print out an article at a time for your H.
Be very sparing with this as you don't want to spook H with too much information all at once.
