Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy Married young, W had affair w/ coworker Pt.2

Took you long enough Wonka.

Damages = Money. As determined by a jury. Basically in my sitch I would be arguing that I have lost W's earning potential.

Atty said it would cost me at least $10k in legal fees to even begin to pursue that avenue. "Hopefully" the award would cover my atty's fees...

He advised to use it as a bargaining chip for settlement and cautioned that it leaves me, OM, and W exposed to the drama of a prolonged jury trial. Not really how I want to spend my next 12 months.

Bringing the case forward would also probably destroy OM's and W's careers since they had the A on a work assignment... On a cloudier day maybe I would want that.

Thanks.

Is this really worth it?? Money-wise? Just so you feel better holding the Sword of Damocles over your W's throat with this perceived "threat"?

Who "wins"? I just don't agree with this approach at all.

Think about it.

Don't take your legal advice from me Have you been to an Atty Jefe?

He called it a "tort" - which to me means "old school law" but I'm not a lawyer. And I think it is actually a civil case, not criminal.

Nothing I would pursue, I just had no idea anything like that existed.

Please clarify, are you saying you think I should pursue damages from OM, or that I should give W a better deal without the "threat" of a lawsuit?

All I am suggesting is that you re-think the spousal alienation case against the OM. What is your goal, UC? Do you want to be the bigger person here taking the high road with class, grace, and dignity?

To be honest, I am feeling convicted about using that as a bargaining chip Wonka. I do not want my W fearing me, nor do I want to be the d!ck in this situation.

I think it may be too late to go back on that, but do you have any advice on making it right?

UC,

I can only imagine the conflicted emotions that are going through right now.

Do what you feel is right. Look within and you'll have your answer.

BTW, you are the attorney's BOSS. Not the other way around. You hired him, right? You call the shots. Sure, you can listen to legal advice. However, ultimately, it is YOU who is in the driver's seat.

This whole thing struck me the same way. UC, you're young and have no kids. I'm guessing that neither W nor OM is sitting on bags of cash either. You could walk away from this pretty cleanly and just move on. The whole revenge thing really just holds you back in this painful situation longer. It's not good for you; it's not who you want to be.

Now as a bargaining chip to get W to sign off and exit quickly, maybe, but to actually invoke it would not be the high road.

UC,

Checking in on you. Please let us know what's up with you and how you're doing.