I don't know who is more confused by that exchange. Me or her.
You are only confused because you are trying to mind-read, process, and put the magic marriage jigsaw puzzle back together.
Stop.
Drop the rope means drop the rope. Work on what you are supposed to be working on, and don't think about the rest. It's difficult to NOT think about something, but it's much less difficult if your mind is already occupied on something else (i.e. because you are focusing on what you are supposed to be working on). It's like magic, only it's real, and it works - that's why it's such a good strategy and why it is advised.
-PM
M:12y - BD:12/11 - D:6/13 - 4Ds
"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." -MLK Jr.
I don't know who is more confused by that exchange. Me or her.
You are only confused because you are trying to mind-read, process, and put the magic marriage jigsaw puzzle back together.
Stop.
Drop the rope means drop the rope. Work on what you are supposed to be working on, and don't think about the rest. It's difficult to NOT think about something, but it's much less difficult if your mind is already occupied on something else (i.e. because you are focusing on what you are supposed to be working on). It's like magic, only it's real, and it works - that's why it's such a good strategy and why it is advised.
-PM
I knew PM would find his way here.
Good advice.
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
M:54, H:55 T:33, M:27 12/13 BD: EA 01/14 BD: PA, H leaves 03/14 H & OW break up 05/14 H says he will file for D 08/14 H initiates D 09/14 H wants to R 12/14 Still bungling our way through R
Thanks, all. Glad to have some new blood along for the ride.
No mindreading, PM, got it. Although, what's to read? I thought the question was inappropriate, declined the offer. I suppose I will know I have dropped the rope when the confusion is secondary (or nonexistent), and when my behavior is marked only by dignity and friendship toward the mother of my children. All this without concerning myself with "Why".
Real life intruded on me late tonight - and is why I'm up and not sleeping soundly. D8 vomited all over my bed. I am pretty sure the top layer of my Sleep Number mattress is ruined. I took it off, doused it in enzymatic cleaners, and rinsed in the tub. We'll see how it goes. Kinda funny, really, compared to the rest of today.
Last edited by Shakspr; 10/21/1405:33 AM.
Me: 43 XW: 43 T15 M14 D21, SS15, S11, D8 BD: 8/6 EA / possible PA discovered 9/29 D final 10/20
"behaviour marked only by dignity and friendship toward the mother of my children".
Love this ^^^
I'm just glad to hear it wasn't you who vomited all over the bed! There's been times in this journey that I sure felt like I was going to! Sounds like you have been carrying yourself very well Shakes - in spite of all that is going on.
H 37 Me 36 Together 15 years Married 5 years No kids BD Apr 2014 H moved out 2 Jun 2014
Sleep Number mattress is ruined. I took it off, doused it in enzymatic cleaners, and rinsed in the tub.
Strong hydrogen peroxide based products (Like at Sally's Beauty possibly) are the best choice for protein and organic based stains like what you're dealing with.
Maybe sometime in another life, I'll tell you what I do for a living.
Ah, Nitty. Good to see you. Hope all is well with you.
Me 47 - W 35 M 9 - T 10 2 Daughters - 7 & 9 Discovery of EA- 8/4/14 S - 8/5/15 D mentioned - 9/11/14 R & Piecing - 3/17/15 Regard one another as more important than yourselves. - Philippians 2:3
Glad to hear from you Shakes - Sorry about the bed- and Jefe's advice was excellent. You might be surprised- I think mattresses are treated with something that make them fairly resilient to this sort of thing. Hope D8 is ok.
Jefe - you don't work at Gunn's Restoration or Serv-Pro do you? I had a house fire 7 years ago, and buddy, I've got some stories about what not to do in that sitch.
Take care everyone! Detach! Choose to enjoy something, even if it's just a good cup of coffee!
Me: 43 XW: 43 T15 M14 D21, SS15, S11, D8 BD: 8/6 EA / possible PA discovered 9/29 D final 10/20
I know everyone at Gunns very well. Please keep in mind not all Servpro's are created equally since they are each individually owned. I did a 12 year tour with Servpro so I might very possibly know exactly who you are referring to.
Me 47 - W 35 M 9 - T 10 2 Daughters - 7 & 9 Discovery of EA- 8/4/14 S - 8/5/15 D mentioned - 9/11/14 R & Piecing - 3/17/15 Regard one another as more important than yourselves. - Philippians 2:3
