IMO, that conversation went on way longer than it needed to, and you didn't need to encourage her to date. Since you're asking for an evaluation. There was a conversation on Ahoy's thread the other day about what to say if you're asked if your dating. In the future, be more mysterious. The goal is to get her thinking about what she stands to lose.
Good luck!
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15
I think she is very concerned about you dating and tried her best to not let that show through. Just my 2 cents.
Good job, man!
Me 47 - W 35 M 9 - T 10 2 Daughters - 7 & 9 Discovery of EA- 8/4/14 S - 8/5/15 D mentioned - 9/11/14 R & Piecing - 3/17/15 Regard one another as more important than yourselves. - Philippians 2:3
I found the comment from 25yearsmlc on Ahoy's thread:
Originally Posted By: "25yearsmlc"
I am not sure how I'll feel about this next week or month, but If I were in your shoes,
and If my h asked me if I was dating...IN THIS MOMENT,
I MIGHT say one of the following...
1) "no one seriously at the moment;"
2) "I'm not in a committed R YET"...
3) "Yes"....(say not a single additional word, but move on to another topic)
4) "not one particular person"
5) "nothing serious, at this point"...
6) "well of course" (again, not a word should follow)
7) "I'd rather not say right now"/"Not ready to discuss that"/
8) "Do we have to have another R talk now?"
9) "I'm trying Not to date for now..."
10) "Yes I'm dating but it's hard to narrow down to one (you know that feeling")
FYI I am not suggesting you use any of these^^...I'm just saying, I might...
I definitely should have been more mysterious (my attempt at that was saying "I don't know if I'd tell you if I was"), but I also don't think I should have indirectly/directly said "yes" in some way like a lot of 25yearsmlc's options suggest. I feel like that validates her dating more than the flirty comment I made at the end. Maybe I'm just too afraid of that, though? 25 is a vet yet right now I don't know if I would say any of those, even in hindsight. If any of them, it would be #7 - not even a hint at an answer.
Obviously my mysterious behavior had been successful up to this point. Perhaps I just blew it, but I'm not going to fret over it. Besides, I haven't been GALing to make her think I'm dating. I've been doing it for me. So I'll continue that. Any other feedback on this convo would be appreciated.
Me 38, WAW 30 D11 (former marriage) S2 T 8 years M 3 years BD 8/20/23 S 8/20/23
I don't think you blew anything. You could have ended the convo earlier but, I don't think anything was lost. She may be asking to justify her own actions but you can't mindread.
My W asked point blank if I was dating about a month ago, before I had even really started GAL/PMA in earnest. I regret not saying one of the things on that list.
M: 33 W: 33 M: 9 T: 10 3 S's: 8, 6 and 1.5 BD: 8/3/14 Living together
Hi. Just to add to Maybell. I missed one call from W about two weeks ago and she left a voice mail saying she was going out of her mind and she didn't want to leave and what a great H I was. By the time I phoned her back the ice queen answered the phone and I was back to square one. I convinced myself for weeks that if only I answered the call all would be good. I know it doesn't make a differance One call one chat. Means nothing Time will tell all and only time
