Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers Shakspr #3; Love's Labours Lost

Don't forget - it takes two to have a wedding. You might be giving boxing gym guy too much credit.....we need a better nickname for him.

I am enjoying the lightheartedness here, I really am. And as much as I would love to give the guy a nickname and a bad review on Yelp, I doubt that will help my cause. Personalizing him won't help. This affair is a symptom. My W felt unloved and marginalized in our marriage. Whether or not I tried to work on that doesn't matter. So old HS Facebook friend comes along and says all the right things, plays it smooth when she pulls back, and then [censored] her back in. In spite of all this, he's not the reason my marriage is in the tank. She and I failed to make our marriage impermeable to that crap.

And now I will watch her go. She's in better shape than she's been in ages. She's forthright and sexy and "getting work done" right out of the MLC playbook. And she's doing it all for herself, with her eye on someone new and shiny. Does it suck? Absolutely.

But I ain't all that bad, and I'm getting better. Gotta wait it out. Gotta learn. And if she can't won't see it down the line...I will learn to live with it.

Haha! I know ole' Dawgy did a bad thing, but I would be lying if I didn't said I didn't read about him and his son getting "a few licks in" and think, "Hoo yeah! Serves you right, OM!"

I KNOW. That's very naughty.

Just so everybody understands, I DO NOT ENDORSE VIOLENCE.

LOL. I think "pulling a Dawgy" should enter the official DB lexicon for attacking the OP.

I swear, y'all are going to get my whole thread moderated.

Nitty, good to hear from you. I am having a good evening, took the kids to see fireworks at Reunion Tower - Texas v. OU football weekend. Fun to see fireworks shooting out of an iconic building.

Have decided to make W's last week at home as pleasant as possible. Grilled her up some chicken while we had burgers earlier (she's on a special diet, rarely eats with us.) She got home late from work, was very thankful.

The road home will be paved and smooth. The woman I know can't help but have some serious second thoughts down the line.

I love her.

Still shouting out to MrBond to check out my page 4 questions.

Am currently back in one of those moods (not acted upon) where I would love to just sit and talk solutions with my STBX. Where we could find common ground. Discuss what a marriage can be.

But I can't, and I won't. I will keep working on me. Ordering some of the recommended books from 'round here and trying to figure out what made me get to where I am. HOWEVER..

Reading the author's description about how he came to write a book about Nice Guys...that's ME. Holy crud. That's first on the list. Along with developing boundaries. I created my own resentment by not being a man in my relationship with W.

And, as I sit here typing, she pointed out something wrong with the furniture (cat scratches)...I said that a friend of mine - call him Al, he is excellent with verneers and such. We are going to work together on his place and mine. Also Al and I will be squaring the doors. She responds "Well, that's needed to be done for years." I said, "What's the point in telling me something like that?" She said, "It's just like the broken medicine cabinet that's been that way forever." I said, yes, either of us could have fixed the medicine cabinet. She walked off muttering.

Absolutely nothing I say at this point is going to be acceptable to her hearing.

I made the mistake of asking how she is doing. That devolved into a not-heated discussion of how I should be acting in the situation. Which led to how I've been acting for a really, really long time.

Am I completely unlovable? Apparently so.

Well, I am too, so we're good company for each other.

Also, I am up and down all the time and therefore she doesn't want to talk to me at all. Guess that's why goin' dark works for some people. Gives that WAS time to remember the good stuff.

She told me she would start packing her stuff tomorrow. I said I'm sure you'll do whatever you need to do. She asked why I think it's ok to say that, to not help her with this stuff. I said I will not help you dismantle my family. She said, "You think you don't already have responsibility for that?" I told her "I have taken responsibility for my part in this, but I remain willing to work through it and make it right. You aren't, and that's the difference."

I tried to remind her of some of the good stuff - times I have absolutely come through for her in sickness and in health. She said "What does any of this have to do with anything?"

I said "I'm up and down because I am hurting badly. How can you be so stoically content with all this?" She responded with "I need to go. I don't want to have this conversation with you." And she left to go to Costco.

Bad DB'n. Just confessing, I suppose. I am an emotional wreck and I do not have any hope that this marriage can ever be repaired. That makes me so sad that I have tears streaming right now as I type.

I have completely lost her.

Aw Shakspr, hugs to you. I feel your pain. The good thing about roller coasters is that they go up again. You won't feel like this forever.

And now, after going to the store, she is making my favorite cookies. I am not even kidding.

Oatmeal Cinnamon Chip FTW!

Woohoo for cookies!