Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers Depressed WAW, digging in, learning about myself

We are both getting really stressed about our house. It's been sitting on the market for a month without a single offer, only one person remotely interested. When we listed it, we had finished 2 months of work on it, and the realtor loved it. Said it was going to get great reception and would have a chance to sell quickly. The first few visitors loved it, but just weren't interested in the area.

Suddenly, everyone hates it. Says it needs updates, etc. There really isn't that much left to update in the house. It has brand new carpet, brand new appliances, fresh paint all over the house, renovated exterior. So I'm waiting on the realtor to give me more info on what updates people are talking about. In the meantime I am losing patience on it. It was my dream home, wanted to stay there the next 30 years. Now I'm alone in it and have to listen to a bunch of strangers make petty criticisms on it. On top of all of that I'm DBing with a WAW still seemingly uninterested in our M. And my job is starting to become laughably impossible again. AHH! I have to scream that here because I can't anywhere else.

Well I've come down from my anxiety about the house. For now I'm still enjoying living in a beautiful house on a quiet street with my happy little girl hanging out with daddy every weekend. She cracked me up all weekend, even though she's 2

I went out on a limb and invited WAW to a movie. Not as a date. Only because it was a book we read together last year (Gone Girl) and had been excited about the movie. She said she was going to pass and work on school stuff. I didn't get down for a second. I said no problem. Later, she asked me to meet her at the gym today. I know we had to exchange D2 anyway, but I enjoyed the invite and the time at the gym. She has initiated lots of pleasant convos in recent days. Who knows if it means anything. I'm just enjoying them as they come while trying to stay detached

Also, I yawned this morning and my jaw popped out of alignment. It's still not right. Going to dr in the morning. Ouch!

So I have a TMJ disc displacement without reduction- aka lockjaw. Can only open mouth about 2 cm. Dentist said it will normally correct itself within a few days. After that is manual readjustment...all because of a yawn!

it does seem that when it rains it pours doesn't brother? i feel you with the house thing. that was part of the reason i had to stay behind when my W moved out west. we couldn't afford two households on one income. turned out great-NOT!

It is so hard to sell a house and I can't imagine doing it solo. And getting negative feedback after working so hard to fix it up... ugh. I can't imagine, Card.

And then your jaw. I laughed when I read that because whenever I'm SUPER stressed out with things going on I ALWAYS end up injuring myself. Throwing out my back, jarring my shoulder, breaking a toe. It's like just when I can't handle one more thing, I do something that makes it so I have to handle one more thing. Man it [censored].

Can you take advil to cut down on the inflammation?

I was going to say "keep smiling" BUT I don't want you to hurt yourself.

Haha luckily I can still smile And yes, aspirin and ibuprofen are my friends. Woke up in the middle of the night in pain, so I took some and then laid my head down on a heat pack...cozy sleep after that

I still get a little disheartened everytime she shows how anxious she is to sell the house. I know it is an inevitable next step, and every month we don't sell is another $1500-$2000 we lose (mortgage, utilities, Internet, etc). So there is an obvious reason to want it to sell as quickly as possible. But I still have to fight the fear that she just wants to sell so she can file for D as soon as possible.

Last night I felt weird. The female instructor of the salsa class is around my age and super attractive. She's been complimenting my dancing for a couple of weeks, but last night she complimented my eyes... I don't know if she's actually hitting on me or just trying to keep me around because it's an extra $10 for the studio every week. I would still go if it was a 90 yr old teaching the class because it is FUN, but last night I almost had the feeling of "if she's going to file for D, I wish she would go ahead and do it so I can move on to other options like the girl from the dance studio". Today my head has cleared up and I feel like I'm willing to wait as long as it takes again. But my thoughts last night scared me a little.

Also, I'm detached enough now that I am no longer sad to be around my D2 alone. But that means I miss her like crazy on days I don't have her! Feel like I am wasting her childhood by not seeing her half of the time. I'm going to start making a more concerted effort to visit her at daycare on days I don't have her. Couldn't today because I was in an all day meeting

Hi Card,

I think it's perfectly normal to have those kinds of thoughts and fears (about the dance instructor). Just even allowing yourself to ENTERTAIN the though of being single again always seemed really strange to me when I was going thru my sitch with my wife 7 years ago. At times it seemed exciting, even liberating; other times, it scared the hell out of me. It was all just so . . . so weird.

Just keep your wits about you and don't go starting any new Rs right now, until you guys either reconcile or wrap things up. It wouldn't be fair to anyone involved.


Starsky

Okay I'm having a major roller coaster swing right now. Last night I was tempted to flirt with a dance instructor and move on. And now I just drove home, knowing my house is empty and my best friend has not been my best friend for 4 months now, and I am just crushed again. I want to call and her tell her how much I miss her. Not going to do it, but it is so tempting. I had two powerful dreams about her last night. The first, we were reconciling joyfully. It sucked to wake up from that. The second was a nightmare, her with another man and moving on officially. I was glad it was only a dream, but I think the two of those dreams left me in shambles today. This is episode # 5,000 of "I can't believe this is real. We were better than ever a year ago. Why me?"

Gah! I was doing so well for 2-3 weeks. I guess this is just another dip and I'll get through it. Hopefully quicker than the last time it happened, when it lasted for a week

Thanks for the encouragement, Starksy. Today [censored]. The ratio of good days to bad days gets greater every month, but the lows still hurt just as much.

Also my, my dentist said to give my jaw a week to "fix itself" before going to a specialist. Screw that. I'm calling tomorrow lol