You have some great coping skills, Mighty. Oddly, they work better in some situations than others. Your xh for example. I know how that goes. And oddly, as you deal with other things that life brings, you start to process those things. In the background.
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Then I though, you know what? I don't need to respond. S told him everything was fine. And I don't need to respond to him because he is ????????'ing me. I mean seriously, he and hww can be insecure about texting with each other. I don't owe him anything.
That's a great example of you re-prioritizing in a good way. Kind of helps put things in perspective, although I don't wish that route for you
Go easy on yourself regarding your son. He's trying to be a man, and it ain't easy sister. There will be more "challenges" I'm sure. But if you worked through it, I'm sure it'll work out well in the end. That's a skill he can really use and he's lucky to have a mom he can do that with. Seriously.
A Bills fan? Hmm...we'll leave that alone
Let us know you have the support you need, yeah? I suspect you'll have lots, but always good to check.
AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
One of the hardest parts of my life... being a Bills fan.
Thanks, AJ, for all your support. You are the best. You keep it real for me, and you have helped me so much in moving along through this process. I don't know that I could ever thank you enough.
It is time for change! I am just not sure what that means.... but.... I'm working on it.
Here is a little bit of not so much change...
I decided this morning to let xh know about some of s17's events from last week. I sent a text this morning.
XH responded with the whatev of... I knew something... just keep me in the loop.... I don't know why you haven't told me... he is trying to use me.... but I'm not going to tell you why...
OK, So here was my initial response (which I didn't send)
I haven't told you because:
1. The kids say you are irrelevant. 2. You have no say in disciplining them. 3. They don't respect you. 4. You weren't around for months and when they needed you, you were preoccupied. 5. You told me to leave you alone. 6. The thought of you makes me sick- let alone communicating with you. 7. The thought of you discussing my kids with your sweetheart enrages me and makes me want to beat the f--king $h!t out of her. She is not worthy of knowing one thing about them. She disrespected my kids, me, my family- YOUR FAMILY. (And she should not call herself a mother because no good mother would do that to a family- YOUR KIDS!)
Sooooo... instead, I said:
I'm sorry I haven't communicated everything. That's is why I let you know today.
That's all. See, I'm a good girl, right? Well, no response- as expected.
Anxiety is through the freaking roof. But.... it will get better, because its TIME FOR CHANGE!!
(See how I did that?!) OK, coming here definitely helps. Thanks.
Hey Shining. When I was going through this, my son was dealing with some serious health issues. His father was off in lalaland riding his unicorn among the rainbows with skittles coming out his...LOL!
Anyway, because I had my roadmap of how I wanted to act, I kept him in the loop until son turned 18. He didnt really care. That was his choice. What mattered to me was that I acted in the way I wanted to in order to keep true to myself.
It will get better, Mighty, because of who you are...
Time for change....I cant wait to see what happens.
A thread I can sing along to-yes!!!!. I love The Brady Bunch. "When it's time to change, then it's time to change. Don't fight the tide come along for the ride, don't you see?" Maybe going along for the ride is bad advice. It's a sunshine day. I think I'll go for a walk outside.. Sorry-I couldn't resist:-)
Last edited by Georgiabelle; 10/07/1402:05 AM.
3 kids BD 12/15/13 (IDKIILY. ) Rope dropped Cirque du Soleil style D final 9-9-14 "Some people are born on 3rd base and go through life thinking they hit a triple." Barry Switzer
OK, sooooo... s17 just came down and told me that he finally laid into xh. He said he went off. D13 heard the whole thing and thought it was hilarious.
xh said that he wants his r with the kids and that he had to leave because he was so unhappy with me.
S said that xh tried to make him feel guilty and said, well you would rather have me there and be unhappy than live a happy life?
OMG, I'm gonna puke.
S17 said he just went off and xh didn't say much but sounded very upset when they hung up.
S17 told him that he would never take any advice from him or listen to him because anything s does only affects him while xh's decisions ruins lives.
S also told him he does not need a r with his kids bc he has a r with hww's son and one on the way.
I think it was a relief for s17 to finally get it out. D13 felt a relief for having xh hear it.
I am going to be sick to think that xh still says that he was so unhappy with me and that is what he says to hww. F, F, F.
