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"the opposite of love is not anger, it's indifference." I care about my WAW, she created this situation. I am angry at that, not her. I love her, but have to show indifference.


Hard stuff in these final days.

""the opposite of love is not anger, it's indifference." I care about my WAW, she created this situation. I am angry at that, not her. I love her, but have to show indifference."

That's not exactly the context which they are referring indifference to. It usually refers to the idea that when your spouse acts angry or emotional towards you, they have some kind of emotional connection to you still. Anger shows that your words can still hurt them. However, if they show indifference (where they don't show any emotion one way or another), then it's harder to re-establish feelings with them.

well, my words still have the power then. that is the good news. the bad news is I am moving and going dark. Hoping she will reach out at some point.
Mr. Bond,
After leaving...how do I affect her emotionally? I plan on minimal contact. Help me please. This phase is such a leap into the unknown.

Stresses of moving out seem to be looming. WAW as home listed and appears to be overly stressed about how clean it is. She wants some time in the home this weekend to do cleaning. I mentioned to her that I will give her a few boxes to pack up S3 .5 things.
I'm feeling the overwhelming need to make sure I am compassionate, caring, and affirming. I am not sure why she is so stressed over this other than having it listed and constant distractions if people want to come see the home. I moved out in seven days and have made very big efforts to get packed and out of her way. For some reason I feel the need to touch her, give her hugs, And the occasional kiss on the cheek. I tend to be over doing this at times and I catch myself, but then think I'm leaving soon what does it matter?
I'm having a very hard time staying detached at this point because I know I will not sleep in her bed, see her face daily, touch your skin, or be able to just say nice things when she seems stressed. I have to keep on "A mask of false bravado trying to keep up the smile to hide the tears"
Walking away is going to be hard what kind of things can I say to her as I leave that would not be pursuit but would let her know that my door is open? Do I simply leave a thank you card for breaking my heart yet not saying that? Do I have something in mind to say to her the last time I walk out of that home? I have all those questions that seem to be building up is there any one that can help?

Thinking about my feelings this morning. It is odd for me to feel detached, yet reaching out to her. The feelings of pursuit are being held at bay. I still need advice on what I mentioned in my last post. Hopeful for today.

NewB3. I have a little to offer. I do know that I came to this realization the other day. Since we all know we would do it again (and better) in a heartbeat, this remains true. To my wife:

It was an honor to be married to you. You made me proud to be your husband. I want nothing but good things for you and our children in the future.

"After leaving...how do I affect her emotionally?"

You can't. That's out of your control. That's why you just keep concentrating on yourself.

Thanks for the replies Shakspr and mr. Bond. Just trying to keep it together these last few days.
Mr. Bond,
Any nuggets for me at this point other than focusing on me? Is there anything else I should be doing?

Yes. Start posting here about your new experiences and don't mention your W. Concentrate only on the things that you are doing for yourself right now.

had some free time this morning. WAW took s3.5 to a friends home to play. I took my time looking for things for my new home. She calls and said he changed his mind when they got there. She asked when I would be home. I was just leaving my last stop. I came home and played with s3.5 and did some more packing.
WAW took s3.5 to birthday party this afternoon. I cleaned up my messes while they were out and cleaned up the house. (180's anyone ) I then sat on the couch and read. About an hour later WAW calls. Realtor called and wanted to show this place in an hour. She said she was coming home and asked that i watch S3.5 while she cleaned. When they arrived I was out front wiping down the front door. She immediately noticed that there was nothing to do. She thanked me so many times. We loaded in the car with the kid and dog and drove away.
S3.5 wanted to go see my home, although I have not closed, we drove by. WAW told him she had never seen it other than online pics. I did not comment.We took dog to grandparents house so we could go eat somewhere. WAW offered to let s3.5 stay with them while we went to eat, he said no. Once we arrived, he decided to stay with grandparents. funny that they suggested we go and s3.5 stay . We went to dinner. It was nice, she talked about her day, her home, and the furniture I was taking. It was nice and we kept eye contact most of the time. I mainly listened and affirmed. Positives abound. Tomorrow.....my final walk through