Just as you saw venom spewing from him, you understood it and for the first time he saw it from YOU and HE UNDERSTOOD it.
You handled it wonderfully. Will you ask him to get help for his alcohol problems? That just doesn't help things on so many levels. That seems to be a key piece in this.
My heart is jumping for joy for you and your family!!
The alcohol issues will have to be addressed. When I was spewing last night, H said "I didn't drink last weekend" so to me that means he is aware of his issue, but I'm not sure what that will mean. I think I'll be reading up on AlAnon and taking things one day at a time for now.
Does this mean he's out of MLC, yeah I know stupid question and I think I know the answer. But I guess I'm trying to determine if this means he will soon be hitting depression and then withdrawl? Is he at the same point he was before he came home the day before yesterday? Will things get worse again?
I should probably still leave him alone to deal with his issues. I guess I don't know where I'm at anymore. Do I let him lead with the talking? He seemed to want to talk last night, but I just didn't feel comfortable asking him what I really wanted to ask him..about OW.
H did say goodbye to me this morning along with a hug and "have a good day."
This is a whole new world and I'm hoping we'll be on our way to a brand new M/R, also.
That is so great he made that decision. He kinda came home the same way mine did. Pulled up, came in. I am sure your going to feel mixed emotions. Your wanting to know will drive you crazy. Hopefully he will volunteer the information in time. Right now it will probably be withdrawal. He will probably let you know how awful she is and that. But I am sure it had something to do with him. Maybe he found that out in a way. He is the one running. Your not. There is a way to do this so he can open his eyes for himself. Try not to over explain yourself. I mean on the "you didn't care about me" comment from him. Maybe look within yourself and think of how he derived that from. You may of did things one way thinking it showed you care and he is looking in other ways.
Anyway, take it slow and use action. Let him volunteer to talk it out. Don't be eager as yet. I really liked how you greeted him. It made me laugh.
Maybe you could meet him for lunch and have a lunch date. Something out of the ordinary to let him know your his friend and you want to help him to get over this person.
And the alcohol issue, they kinda have to do that on their own for their own selves. The more an issue is made, the more they seem to crave it. I would let it go for the time being till it effects you more down the road. Maybe it was just being around the ow that made him drink more.
My suggestion is for you to sit down and pray and ask the Lord what direction you are to take.
He is the only one who truly knows your husband and the best way for you to handle things. There are many suggestions that people can give and tell you, but the only one that is going to give you the right one is the Lord.
You have prayed for every other situation and he has helped you, that is where I suggest that you go. Did you order the book When Prodigals Return? If not, please order it. This is going to be a whole brand new journey for you and there are going to be many things that you are going to deal with that all of us will only be able to make suggestions at because we do not know your husband.
I think that things are so far going great for you, but I think you feel a little unbalanced now because again the rug has been pulled out from under you. In a good way this time, but still you are very uncertain.
I can only imagine how this must feel for you. It has to be exciting and scary at the same time. I'm sure that he feels the same way as well. He made a big step by cutting her completely off which means, he got rid of his safety net. So that is one big step no matter how you look at it.
Lucky you he is in the last stage! FINALLY! He needs you right now, so be his friend. Now where is that thread from HB? Anyway he is coming out facing his final fears! I feel for him because now he realizes all the damage he has done!
This is so awesome!
I feel good knowing, that I have helped you in some way! Thanks!
I do like to vent, yell in my car. On my way home from work Wednesay night, which is also when H came home. I did yell to Satan to leave my H alone, to get out of his life. Must have worked Cathy
Quote: And the alcohol issue, they kinda have to do that on their own for their own selves. The more an issue is made, the more they seem to crave it. I would let it go for the time being till it effects you more down the road. Maybe it was just being around the ow that made him drink more.
I'm thinking the same thing. I can't force H to do anything. H has to want to do this himself, for himself.
Yelling it car is good therapy. Plus it amuses the other drivers. I don't do it much anymore, but I have developed a rather annoying habit of talking to myself while driving my truck...People stare.
