Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers Advice with WAW

okay well that was certainly in interesting conversation. I was taking my lunch walk and I ran into the lady from HR. Briefly asked her what the health insurance pays as far as IC (still on EAP right now). She told me everything then asked a weird question. She asked "How old is your wife?" I told her she jst turned 30. She asked if she had a mini (or full) MLC and I said a lot of the signs started pointing to it. The next thing I know she is in full confessional mode about her husband and herself just turning 30 and going through all these changes. IT mirrored my wife almost to a T, except her H is mentally abusive and controlling. I really didn't know what to say except she needed to get some help and talk to someone.

Anyway it was really interesting having her tell me all of this and how it related to what my W is going through right now.

Update, well it's been two days since I sent the buyout for the house to the W, she has yet to respond (probably getting it checked out I am sure). Once she agrees to the buyout I assume she will push hard to get the D signed. I guess I have a question to the people that actually signed the D and still hope or got back together. If it comes to that point should I write a letter saying just because we are D now it doesn't change that I still want to work on it? I know that isn't detaching, but I really need some guidance there. I will ask more specifics when it gets to that point but just to put my mind at ease I figured I would ask

I hear you on it not being truly detached. Right or wrong, I will be writing my wife a short note on D-day. Check my thread (further up from the witty exchange :-)) for the verbiage.

And if things take a turn for the better, I guess I'll just have to re-word it!

Wow, all of this was beautifully said. Unbelievably sad. It's so hard that all of us hear have had to go through this pain.

sorry wrong thread!

Small update and some guidance needed. W finally called me regarding the buyout of the house. I had included seller cost assuming we are selling the house which is quite a sum of money. I am going to forgo all of her investment interest in exchange for the house basically. She is arguing she doesn't feel it's her responsibility to pay for any seller costs based upon an appraisal she ordered.

I spoke with 3 separate lawyers today and they all said that should be included in the buyout. How do I word the email to the W so she understands. She is a very smart woman but when it comes to finance and money she doesn't have a clue, I always took care of that. I know if the roles were reversed her attorney would advise her to do the same.

Anyone out there have any words of wisdom?

Wish I could help. Perhaps find something online you can link which cites what you want to do as common practice?

The thing is its negotiable in most cases. We are talking $15K which is her share alone. Obviously I don't want to just eat that and she should pay for her share. Not quite sure how to proceed

Would splitting it be a burden on you?

Also I really want to remind her of this day, she won't remember so I will tell you

W this was the first day together, although horrible it still reminds me of you, it reminds me of the cross-stitch I completed in honor of this day (completed and signed 9/11/02 one year later with you that still hangs next to our picture. (She even picked the font for the signature

I miss you and I wish I could tell you about it.

If anyone wants to see it I can post a link to the picture

I am not trying to belittle this day to anyone effected, it just reminds me of both good and bad memories. Remember...

We'll my calculations are all 50/50