Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers Advice with WAW

You may want to also make copies of any important documents she will take prior to the move. Account numbers for bills and that type of thing.

I suggest you ask her when she's planning to move and be some where else. With a best friend would be a good choice.

FunDad

Already done, I really do appreciate it. I will give an update in the morning. Talking to my long lost friend really messed me up tonight

W got keys to her new rental yesterday. I worked up the finance agreement to buy her out of the house, actually came out WAY better than I was thinking and it put me in a really good mood last night.

Met with a buddy I hadn't talked to in a year or so and it was nice to catch up. He had been divorced and he told me his whole story with his ex, that also made me feel better. The only part of the conversation that got to me was when he said he never thought in a million years that we would ever get divorced.

W is calling the attorney today so I assume I will be hearing about that at some point today...great. Also saw the W yesterday, she dropped by without texting or calling me which aggravated me, I told her she looked good (she doesn't right now, she looks like a skeleton), she said I looked really good and was proud with all the weight I had lost (I look like I'm college again). I had some texts with her last night regarding the financial document and some updates I needed to do for it. I could tell she was getting frustrated about it and I simply told her again she was one of the smartest people I know and if she has a question to just ask me.

I miss her, I can't tell her that so I am telling you guys :-)

keep your chin up Dp. Its tough, but you are new to this. It may seem completely hopeless right now, but if you can hang in there for a couple for a bit, you never know what the future holds. The WAW mood and thinking can, and usually does soften especially if you keep to the DB principles of GAL, 180, and PMA.

Good job! You are at that age that I personally think guys start looking the best. Still young, but enough maturity to separate them from the boys, so to speak. So, enjoy it.

Thanks sandi! I have been enjoying it, people that I haven't seen in a long time are shocked and everyone is asking me what my secret is lol. It makes me feel good

Well the past 12 hours have been a bummer. Met up with a friend of mine for dinner last night, he knows my W and I really well. He said he texted the W to see how she was doing. She said although I was a great guy she was moving on with the D...terrific. Last night I really couldn't sleep and when I did they were the craziest dream and all involving her. The dreams I have been having are probably the worst thing right now. I just can't seem to shut my mind off at night. Anyone have any advice on this?

Then today is the anniversary of 9/11. That day was the first day her and I ever spent any time together. I know for a fact she doesn't remember being in her suite mates dorm room watching for what was hours on end just wondering. It's a memory I would like to share with her but not a good idea. I just wanted to share that with someone. Thanks for listening.

Dp, I am completely with you on not being able to shut my mind off. I have always had trouble sleeping at night, even during good times, because my mind does not stop. I can be exhausted but lay in bed for hours. Marriage troubles do not help in the least! I have taken more sleeping pills this past year than I can count. I almost hope to catch a cold so I can take nighttime cold medicine to knock myself out. There are no easy answers to help you sleep and calm you mind. I would recommend a glass or two of wine, but that in itself can lead to other problems down the road. I have found that watching tv, especially shows/movies I have seen a million times helps. I do not have to focus on them (or I will be awake all night watching tv) but the show causes a distraction to keep my mind from starting up.

As for what your W told your friend, ignore it. Remember, believe none of what they say, and only half of what you see. Your W is still in the stage of justifying her actions. She is not ready to rebuild your M right now, so why would she say anything other than what she did.

I know it stinks to hear this, but you have a long journey ahead of you. You are just getting started.

Keep your chin up!

Thank pilot, I wish I could take sleeping pills for cold medicine but I just don't trust it or want it. I usually have a glass of wine before bed anyway, whether I do it or not it never seems to make a noticeable difference. I like the movie/tv idea, except for me when I start watching something I have to finish it, even horrible movies lol.

I haven't had sleep problems in a long time (aside for the month after BD), but back when I used to, reading books in bed helped me. If a Grisham page-turner is too enveloping for you, to the point where you can't put the book down, maybe read biographies, histories, etc? If it was late enough, I couldn't keep my eyes open longer than 30-40 pages. I wouldn't recommend marriage/divorce help books in bed as that will not detach you from your sitch.