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But, according to my income and Smokey's...the child support calculator comes up with $479-$500 per month for child support.

And how much in spousal support???? As long as you've been married, and with you putting your career on hold to care for an Asperger's child, you should be getting some spousal support for a while at least.

Hi Lois,

I don't remember if you have a divorce petition filed in court yet. if you do then your attorney can file motions Pendente Lite i believe. These are temporary motions for child support, Alimony, etc. Alimony in a lot of states now is not guaranteed. It is being awarded to give a spouse time to get back on their feet and back into the work force. If you don't have divorce action pending I am not sure what you can do.

I know guys. I'm just looking at the worst case scenario...I move and the dissolution remains unsettled and I can only count on child support until the house sells. I could be more aggressive and ask for temp spousal and child support and leave him to deal with the mortgage on this house.. Meeting with the atty again this week.

I didn't get the salary increase, BUT, they promised to review my salary in 6 months. The editor said this is good news because it means I may move up the ladder a little more quickly than the norm. I will take it and hold them to it.

I found two other houses that are a little lower in price.

I think I will meet with the atty again...spell out the temp support I can expect...ask about the other properties...and, maybe plan one more trip with just me to see the others OR sign the lease on the one we love. I will check in with the realtor tomorrow to see where things stand.

I told D20 about the $400 per month contribution if we choose the one house. She panicked. Had a bit of a blow up. I think she realizes that this house would mean she would be a bit "trapped" for the period of the lease. We shall see. Interesting to watch her...she, then, threw out her idea of going back to school in the spring semester...BUT, she would attend a community college nearby? AND continue to pay the $400 per month? HuH??? She could go to SUNY in Potsdam with instate tuition...it started to blow...and, I stopped the conversation.

She is scared. I'd be willing to alter the monthly "rent" but I already decided I won't go any lower than $300 per month. I think this is fair. Maybe I will compromise at $350.

I went to SUNY Binghamton.

Just had to tell you. It's only 5 hours from Watertown

Brook, WE WILL BE IN THE SAME STATE!!!!

If I live in New York State, does that make me a bada$$ New Yorker?

Should I start yelling at people when I drive? I'm just a mild-mannered Buckeye right now.

So, I've been thinking about boys. Not that I'm jumping into the pool just yet...but, I guess it's crossed my mind, lately, how nice it would be to have a partner of some sort.

If I'm attracted to someone and feel chemistry...does that mean that the person is probably a jerk? In my grief book, Anderson talks about looking for people you aren't normally attracted to...especially for those of us who suffered abandonment in childhood...that sounds pretty abysmal. But, it's true that I seem to be attracted to immature, unavailable men...Smokey, the Forester...to name a few.

Can he still be good-looking and fit and all that AND be a nice guy??? Why do I feel like I will be forced to find someone who is not attractive to me in order to find a nice person? That sounds crazy and childish I know.

Says who?

You're confusing physical attractiveness and "chemistry" attractiveness.

You don't have to go out with ugly Santa Clauses. BUT - if you only go out with guys that you feel that immediate "chemistry" with, you are probably only going out with guys that fit into your unhealthy childhood patterns. So try dating some handsome guys that DON'T set off those bells right away, or some different looking guys than the type you always go for. Try giving the guy who is available a chance instead of rejecting him right away.