There's a part of me that's suspected he's been reading along on the boards...It's really hard for me to imagine Smokey being so clueless with all of our lives for so long. He's so nosey. And, when I read over his responses, IDK...maybe wishful thinking. He's the kinda person that looks into your cupboards when he visits your home.
There was a moment last spring when he was visiting and D12 pulled up the boards accidentally when she was showing him something. Could be. Whatever. What a sad, sad person.
He's becoming distasteful to me. Someone I simply wouldn't allow in my life because of his high degree of ick.
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
I had an interview today at an upscale architectural firm in an exclusive area of town (think $20M homes) and I knocked it out of the park. As i was driving there I remember thinking, "gosh, didn't I say a few months ago, 'gee, wouldn't it be awesome to work for an up and coming architectural firm headed by a woman with incredible vision in a high end area of town??!!!' and here I am on my way to an interview for just that."
S,
This is AWESOME!!!!!! For me, anytime I begin to doubt my abilities or worry that I won't be able to handle it...I imagine that God is this big Easy Chair holding me and supporting me. I imagine Jesus holding me up when I feel like I can't take another step. I imagine God putting the words into my mouth when I don't know what to say.
Just remember you aren't alone and that God wants GOOD Things for YOU. Really :-)
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
Hey, look on the bright side, he's not gonna keep you hostage to your state! And in a year D will be 13 and the court will probably allow her to decide if she doesn't want to go for visitation (although I recommend allowing some).
He'll be happy because your new income will reduce his support bill (although still fight for all you are owed) and maybe that will mean he'll leave you alone in peace to create your new life
As for rent-to-own.....look at it carefully. As I stated before, I'm not sure you should be even thinking about buying again for a few years, and I'd hate to see you get stuck in a financial mess. Rent-to-own is usually more expensive than just renting. And usually harder-to-sell properties take that route. Not saying it's always bad - maybe if you find the perfect cottage being sold by an older couple who want to still make money from it by carrying the note.....but it can be a bad deal. Who would be responsible for repairs etc while you were renting? How much above market rents would you be paying? What if you pay above-market rents for 3 years, then decide to move in with your hot new fiance instead?
As for having the storefront office - that's AWESOME Definitely find a house or apartment that's within walking distance for D if you can. Being within walking or biking distance can save you a lot of car wear-and-tear too.
Yes, it appears that he won't stand in our way. Fingers crossed. And, just maybe, we can start a new life without his shadow looming overhead. Sometimes, you get what you ask for. We shall see. I'm not letting my guard down yet. Cautiously optimistic.
I did think it was kinda funny how he responded to my request for his support in this endeavor with "GREAT! Good Luck! Wish you well!..." Like I was asking for a cheerleader as opposed to what I was really asking..."Please stay outta our way and let us go to NY."
I did feel a bit of rejection...but, I anticipated I would when I contacted him. No desire to continue a conversation though. And, looking through his things/our things together as I get organized hasn't been nearly as painful as I thought it would be. It feels cleansing.
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
So when I drive through Watertown next spring, I promise to stop by and say hello on my way to get my D20 and drive home with her. We try to have an adventure every year... she's thinking baseball hall of fame for me (she went this summer) and I'm thinking Boldt Castle. Maybe both? Wish I had time to stop in when I'm there in October, but we have to make it an hour north to get to a volleyball match. Plus I'll be with Mr. Wonderful, and I truly don't like sharing this part of my life with him. LOL
For the record I have the local TV news station bookmarked here. It's always a good source of info for me so I know what my D20 is living around. Especially the weather reports.
I'm thrilled for you and your girls to have an adventure together and make a fresh start. Somehow, I'm thinking that this might be exactly what you need to find out who you really are. There's something to be said for fresh starts. I'm a big fan of them. And besides, if you don't love it, you can always do something else. The only thing that is permanent is death (and taxes). Everything else is subject to change.
Hugs!
Betsey
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
Hi Heather, The thing that stood out for me in his response was instead of asking about his kids and whether they were going with you, he asked about the ANIMALS??? Not "Are you taking my children, whom I love so dearly, so far away?", nope, he asks about the dog and cat! Not to mention the dig about "..no matter how goofy...". Yeah, he sounds like a guy just chock full of bright ideas!
Getting yourself and your kids away from that waste of a man is the best thing for you and them! You're going to do great. Isn't Watertown the place where those Amish kids were abducted recently?
