Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers WAH - chapter 3

Hi all!
So NC is not for me apparently. My H texts me every day! While in an ideal world I would not reply, logistical reasons kind of dictate that I should respond.

He has stuff at my house. He wants his stuff I guess.

So this afternoon he simply texts me "are you going to be home tonight?"

I assume that is because he wants to pick something up. So I said
"I'll probably be home later unless I get lucky".

What a stupid question. Will you be home tonight? No, I am going to sleep in the street. Why not just say "can I come by later at 8pm to get my ...?" Why does it matter whether I will be home or not. What does "tonight" mean anyway? 6pm? 9pm?

While I thought about not responding at all to this dumb question, I have had enough of his nonsense. I have always loved the saying "if you ask a stupid question you will get a stupid answer".

So I gave a stupid answer.

Do you want to see me? Is that why you are asking if I will be home?
Do you want to pick up your stuff? Then just say what time you are coming and I'll say yes or no.

He replied to my text with "haha. Do you have a date?" To which I did not reply.

And he didn't come by the house to get his stuff (he has a key).

WHAT THE HELL DOES HE WANT FROM ME?

If he wants his stuff, why not just say that and come get it? If he wants to see me, why not just say that? What does he want?

Yes, thank you I know I replied in an immature and stupid way. But I don't care.

Hope you all are having a good one. I had a stressful day and an entertaining night. Hugs, Lisa

haha reading this again I realized a better reply to "Will you be home tonight?" would have been "Nope".

Oops.

Sometimes my sarcasm and sense of humor gets the best of me.

Haha. Just remember to keep your eye on the prize. And ask yourself before you ever text or email or say something to him, "does this help me get closer to my goal?'

Other than that, too funny Maybe a reply of "yea, I am having a friend over, but if my door is shut and there is a shirt hanging from the door knob, please do not come in. I do not want it to get awkward.'

LOL yeah pilot, you are right. I didn't really have my eye on the prize, I was being a b!tch. I meant it as a joke, but over text it just sounds slutty and bitchy.

Who cares though, the a-hole dumped me, slept with his slut coworker and is now dating multiple girls online. Should I really care about being the image of purity, kindness and goodness?

OK, maybe I had a few too many drinks before texting. Someone take away my phone!

Lesson learned, don't drink and text. oops.

Lisa--update us if you can. Yours is an interesting story. I cannot figure how these nots work--everything seems like it's been on the board a long time--that's why I'd like an update from you...if your ready!
Thanks!

Meh, he asked. I, too, follow the "if you ask a stupid question prepare for a stupid response" motto.

Can't win em all. Just try to keep the balance in your favor.

You care because you are here. And yea, absolutely maintain the image of purity, kindness, and goodness. Remember, you are doing this for you, not him. Your goal is for you to have a better life, which means you want to attract the best kind of guy (him or not) for you. Besides once he is out of his fog, who do you think he is going to pursue? The slut coworker or the good one (you)?

I totally get you were making a joke and being funny. But the answer is still the same In fact, I am such a nice guy, I will help you out. When he dumps his slut coworker, to help keep her out of the picture, send me her number. Haha

Pilot for the win!

Haha pilot!

I have been taking your advice and not responding to his messages. They aren't urgent, just trying to get my attention. I'm also out of town this weekend so I'm hoping that makes him curious about what I might be up to while on holiday. He has already been contacting me very friendly so I think it got his attention a bit!

Let's see how this NC goes! I feel rude not replying but I'm telling myself I'm busy having fun and I can contact him when I return home, if I feel like it!

As you all have been saying, he needs to be a little shocked into thinking I might be moving on. That I won't just be there waiting around for him to realize I'm the best.

Thanks everyone for your support! Hope you have a great weekend!
Hugs, Lisa B