Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Midlife Crisis Stimulus-Response: The Experiment Continues

GGG,

I cracked up when you called me an idiot in response to the 'H is in MLC' fact list. What a way to start my day!

I am a bit concerned about your physical well-being. Please put yourself as #1. Forget about GUBU for a while. I do hope you will take care of your health and put those pounds back on.

Yep, trying to "tell you what to do!" LOL Go on and flip into MLC land, girlfriend. You have nothing to lose. Hey, it's on the bucket list, right? pllllbbbtt---blowing raspberry

Nooooooooo!
Wonka--I meant that GUBU is an idiot!!!

There is the power of proper punctuation.

But you knew that, right?
Totally not my style to call my pals names.
Even "GUBU" is pretty mild considering... don't you think?

I hope you're kidding and you're just teasing me!

Didn't you read the earlier post where I referred to you as "Fabulous"???



--GGG

PS: Don't worry--I am staying in my own sandbox today.

I'm in a jovial mood and yep...teasing the heck out of you, my friend. We've got to laugh sometimes when we have our dark periods. A great stress reliever for sure.

Especially loved the part when the XOW was shocked at seeing you and you said it was probably "she thought you would look like Quasimodo". The best line ever! Keep going with your wicked funny sense of humor.

Thanks, Matt.

Yesterday was a tough day with a lot of things coming into the forefront, none of them good.

I have been seriously sleep-deprived and I have no doubt that factored into my meltdown.

My psychiatrist (seeing him for years for ADD/Aspie stuff) sort of freaked me out, asking too many questions about what was going on.

I felt he was prying. Just one more person questioning my decisions.
After I explained it more:
"Make no major decisions for at least a year following a traumatic experience" (Like MOVING, DIVORCING, GETTING RID OF MY "KIDS"!)

He finally went----"Ah... I think I understand now."

But the energy it took to bare my soul, then defend myself, it was too much.

Add going to the grocery store and shopping for one, (sensory overload on a good day!) buying healthy stuff I always think I'll eat, (but end up throwing most of it to the chickens), the grocery store brings up bad feelings for some reason.


But the lack of sleep---
It always exacerbates my ADD stuff and Aspie stuff.
I need rest and I don't often get it.

I got some new meds from my shrink yesterday and I tried Trazedone instead of Valium at bedtime.
It is such a low dose it's hard to say yet but according to my sleep monitor, I did get some good sleep for about four hours.

That's a huge improvement.
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I just have a lot on my plate right now with GUBU, this mess of a property and remodel, the farm chores, my mother being so ill, our "Tiny Dog Hospice" (currently holding steady at 15 aging little ankle biters and three large dogs), which I am now running singlehandedly.

Throw in ADD, Asperger's and Menopause, and you've got the "Perfect Sh*t Storm!"

There is always a little one sick, dying... we used to share this burden, but GUBU's contribution is now limited to him hanging out and cuddling with them, while I get to do all the dirty work, including euthanasias, by myself.

It's not like a normal life in a normal house.
I am in the boonies... it's insane, really.
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But I usually don't focus on that because it's not productive.

I think yesterday it was just getting to me and I was really feeling dumped on.

The support and appreciation I get here means so much... I honestly can't say how well I'd be doing otherwise. I am so grateful for you all.


THIS IS SO HARD.
Yesterday I felt defeated. Today I'm more optimistic.

And for the record, I think my "Always show him a peanut in your hand" approach IS working in that he seems more connected to me.

That's all I can hope for now, just keep the lines open.
And no matter how I might rant and rave on here, I keep it restricted to this board and don't let it into the real world.
I've learned that lesson the hard way!


----GGG

Thanks, Wonka.

You had me worried there for awhile.

Don't forget, I've had a lifetime of living with my foot in my mouth.

And I have NOT ruled out having my own MLC.

I know they say it's terrible... so maybe I could have a "pretend" one.

You know, just act like he's acting!

Sort of see him one and raise him another!

Just go MIA/WAW... maybe he'd find HIMSELF on this site!
(Uh-oh. That wouldn't be good.)

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As for meeting his former OW, it was pretty funny.
(Not for her though, and GUBU had a tough day of it!)

I'm sure he'd given her a host of things that were "wrong" with me, the main one being he's not attracted to me and hasn't ever loved me.
That I had all these "problems" and probably that's why he couldn't "leave me for her". I was SO dependent and NEEDY..... Yeah, right!

We met at a work function.
I knew she would be there so I looked fabulous!
I was getting hugs and chatting with all the muckitty-mucks higher ups from the organization, the center of a lot of activity.

His co-workers love me and were anxious to sit and chat. Clearly, THEY didn't think I was a battle-axe!

Add in the celebrity who was there to speak, this is the best part.
I sat with his wife through the whole event, and at the end, he came over and chatted with me, hugged me, kissed my cheek--- hahaha!
OW is not educated, socially smooth, or presentable at functions like this.

Which is why GUBU never took her anywhere... except where nobody knew him, and even then he just kept her in the hotel room...

Anyhow, here is dumpy OW off on the sidelines, watching everything, trying not to let me see she is watching ME intently.

Apparently, she had asked who I was---SURPRISE!

Not exactly what you were expecting, OW?
Maybe your "Boyfriend" GUBU lied to you???

Welcome to the club, my dear.

Here is the "REAL Mrs. GUBU", like it or not!

I think at that point she realized she'd been had and that she never had a chance with GUBU, no matter what he'd told her.
That she'd been used and lied to.
Because she WAS.

I do know that he would have never left me for her.
If only because she has little kids and he hates kids. And because she is not "presentable" and has "no manners".
But she did have her uses.
I guess she figured that out...

At the event, OW made a statement about getting through her presentation as quickly as possible (publicly, through a mic!) so she could get off the stage!

I was sitting there in the front row while she gave her little presentation.
I was there the whole time, with Mrs. Celebrity.
OW looked like she wanted to sink through the floor and disappear.
(Ah... that felt NICE.)

I didn't stare at her, didn't give her the evil eye, just smiled benignly and listened respectfully.
Before and after her talk, I was just ignoring her, chatting with HER co-workers and GUBU, and Mr and Mrs. Celebrity.

Yes.

Sometimes revenge is sweet.

And definitely served best ice cold.

---GGG

I would love to discover that our OW is ashamed and embarrassed. I know she is not. And she is quite beautiful, unfortunately. (A former friend, I haven't seen her since a little bit before the BD. Truthfully, I've been avoiding running into her.)

So I am envious of you, GoatGal, and your "moment" when GUBU's OW realized she'd been played!

GG,
You might want to start a new thread, as I will be making the 106th posting here. Your thread is going to lock very soon.