thanks holding - no ML since hearing of OM though - kinda a mutual feeling I guess although I sense she is warming up some (see my last post)
Also a question - someone suggested that a thyroid problem could cause some of my problems? my sister has been on Thyroid supplements since she was a teenager. Any Ideas???
holdingon, {[[hugs}}} And a big THANK YOU! What you had to say helped! Because you and I are in the same place is how we can sympathize with each other.
You're understanding and support is what I needed to hear this morning.
All we can do is hold each other's hand and hope God hears our prayers. What I did find uplifting is rereading; yet again the DR book! It always gives me hope and helps me to gain back the patience to wait this out. God knows, I need all the help I can get!
Know that it takes longer in some sitches than in others; I guess we have the longer road to waiting!
Getting back on track and concentrating on the Veggie/ Fruit stand! My brothers former wife, totally encouraged me this morning and I think she will be yet another customer!
We ARE doing the right thing holdingon; having the patience to wait out this ride we are on!
Holdingon... I've been lurking around your recent post and am copying those 20 quidelines to live by! They are great! I will read more of your sitch and catch up.
I, too, have occaisional phone consults with Joanne....they are wonderful, worth all the money, and I get so much out that coaching. I can check in whenever....sometimes I'm regular (every 2-3 weeks) other times it will be several months. It doesn't matter, she is right there with the continuity and guidance I need.
Holdingon, Good morning. This is my first post. My W told me a week ago she wanted out. The last 8 months have been tough and I am currently in NJ while she is NC. I have been here since 30 Dec. In the last two weeks I have started reading a book about living your life for the purpose God created you for. I don't know if it is legal to give the name of the book, but here it is. The Purpose Driven Life, by Rick Warren. My church is going through it as a body. I have been reading it for ten days now and it has helped me tremendously. I know my purpose in life and I am learning about who God created me to be. I haven't read any of Michele's books yet, DR is in the mail heading my way, but I have realized that I have to be happy with me, whether or not my W is happy with me and she has to be happy with herself, whether or not I am happy with her. Its been a tough and lonely 11 days since she told me. But I already see the blessings in my life from this experience. I am taking comfort in knowing that God is active in my life and my W's life.
Yes, it is perfectly okay to give book titles. I really like Rick Warren's book, too. Our church also did a bible study based on that book. Snodderly has a thread in Newcomer's that has a lot of really great books on it. You will really enjoy DR when it gets to you.
You are lucky to have found the Lord's blessings so quickly in your journey. And, this is a journey.
You might get more personal help if you create your own thread. All you have to do is hit "post" at the top of the page and it will create your own page... we call it a thread.
Hang in there, Scott. You sound really great and the people here are awesome. One thread that you might want to check out is Odga's thread, here in piecing. His W divorced him and they are on their way back together.
Take care of yourself, Scott, that is the most important thing right now (okay, second after prayer...)
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
Thanks for the note. A little background about me that you don't know. I just completed my third semester in seminary and I studied the Family Systems Theory by a Rabbi named Edwin Friedman. That has helped so much. If you are really into reading books, check his out. The title is Generation to Generation. This book will take you through your family of origin, your extended family as well as your immediate family. All of my seminary training combined with my eight years in the Army and finding the purpose for my life has helped me get to this point. You can get there to. Don't just hold on. Let go and let God take control of everything. I know its very easy to say and sometimes impossible to do, but know that God is in control.
As for me, I am soooooo happy. I just had a conversation with my W. And we talked for a long time. We talked about her vision for the sep and that she wasn't looking to divorce right now. We also talked about the leaving arrangments and when she realized that I wasn't going anywhere right now, she got uncomfortable and then she started talking about the date for the separation and I disagreed and said no. She lost it, but I didn't. I kept my cool and told her what I would and would not do and that I wasn't telling her what to do or not do, she could do whatever she wanted. I feel so free. That is the first time in my eight years of marriage that I have ever stood up to her. I am so happy right now. Take care and thanks.
Scott
Please know up front though that I am not a counselor in any way. Gen to Gen will not teach your how to change the systems that you find yourself in, it will only open your eyes to the fact that you are in a series of systems and that by changing the way you react in one system will affect all of the systems. I.E. I have stood up to my wife, now there will likely be an affect on the way I stand up to my mother or how my W reacts to her father. You won't be able to predict how the system will react, but it will help you recognize your systems.
I just had a conversation with my W. And we talked for a long time. We talked about her vision for the sep and that she wasn't looking to divorce right now. We also talked about the leaving arrangments and when she realized that I wasn't going anywhere right now, she got uncomfortable and then she started talking about the date for the separation and I disagreed and said no. She lost it, but I didn't. I kept my cool and told her what I would and would not do and that I wasn't telling her what to do or not do, she could do whatever she wanted. I feel so free. That is the first time in my eight years of marriage that I have ever stood up to her. I am so happy right now. Take care and thanks.
