Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy 1 step forward 1000 steps back - part 4

Thanks Wonka and Barrybran.

I know you both may disagree but I ended up asking H about it. The kids were real upset and regardless of what happens between us I know H wants a strong co-parenting relationship and would want to know if he said something that bothered them. I was not angry, although I was sad and I'm sure that showed in my voice. It turns out that H did NOT say "maybe never" when the kids asked about him about coming home. We're not sure why S7 said that. H said whenever the kids ask when he's coming home he just says "I don't know". He said he wouldn't say something like that directly to them and he's going to speak to S7, if/when the time is right. He appreciated me calling him and telling him.

We chatted a bit about my camping trip and I think ended on a positive note.

So, I think the big lesson for me is: NO mindreading. Ugh! I analyze EVERYTHING (this is my natural tendency and in other areas of my life a strength), it's a really tough one to break!

I have a giant project at work that I really need to get on top of so that should be a good distraction. But man, I must say, I am tired all the time these days. I wonder if it's a side effect of the ADs? Kind of looking forward to a kid free night tomorrow night so I can rest..

MDU,

It seems that you were able to keep your temper in check. This is a very important achievement. So pat yourself on the back for H will remember that you didn't blow up at him or harangue him.

Nicely done.

Beat me to the punch, Wonka -- I was going to say exactly the same thing!!


Starsky

Thanks.

I will see him in a little while, he had to take S somewhere and will drop him off at home. I'll keep it light for sure.

I am feeling a tad better. I think the camping trip was a big plus. And I have a couple of friends helping advise me on house stuff. I haven't taken any action yet on home maintenance (it's a goal this week to take care of at least one thing on my extensive list). I know once I do it will really start to help my confidence. I'm really fortunate to have several helpful, supportive people in my life. Including all of you, of couse

Huge pat on the back for keeping yourself together while talking to H. Well done

H dropped off Son, came in and chatted a bit. His older daughter was here. It was nice to all pleasantly chat. I felt I struck a good balance of friendly but detached and when he left I felt basically fine, not all emotional like I sometimes do. I definitely do NOT get the sense that I'm at the point of really reattracting H again but I am hopeful that the tension over the conflict about OW in the office may finally be dying down. Only time will tell, of course.

Interesting...documenting the latest.

So I chatted a bit yesterday with H about some work developments, in particular a key colleague maybe leaving the company and that could have significant impacts to my role (could be bad, actually). Anyway, H texts me this morning and says:

H: "Good Morning. I wanted to apologize for not asking you how you were feeling about your job with the news of X potentially leaving"

Me: "That's ok, I didn't think that. I thought you did a good job listening to my woes."

H:

Me: "You are getting too skinny, I am going to make you a giant loaf of zucchini bread!"

H: "I ate the whole last one myself. I actually like the weight I am at now, I feel better about my body."

Me:

H: "I will still eat the bread though!"

So maybe we're heading back into the light/breezy zone. We'll see..

Sounds better!

See? It's not all doom and gloom

Hehe, not at all

And tonite, I am kid free and really looking forward to some R&R. Chocolate, a glass of wine and a movie rental for me. Anyone have a good movie to recommend??