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Re: Maybell VI Maybell #2475688 08/04/14 04:34 PM
Joined: Jun 2014 Posts: 131 SE England, United Kingdom M Mat Member
Mat Member M Joined: Jun 2014 Posts: 131 SE England, United Kingdom	Hi there - in the last text you did drop a "I don't know why we're apart", but the rest of it was reasonable. If you talk about it again, you could stay away from R aspect, and if he wants to discuss his approach with the kids, simply reiterate that he is co-responsible for their well-being, and you don't want to manage this for him. Also, if you go back to DB, is there a 180 that you could think of to get him to be more actively involved with the kids? As discussed in the chapter with the anecdote about the husband that kept sitting down for meals with his shirt off? ..just a thought! M:37 W:38 No kids Together since 2006, Married since 2010 EA discovered 06/07/2014 W moved out 06/08/2014

Re: Maybell VI Mat #2475705 08/04/14 05:14 PM
Joined: Apr 2014 Posts: 3,500 M Maybell OP Member
OP Maybell Member M Joined: Apr 2014 Posts: 3,500	He called it taking a jab. Which says he doesn't care about my feelings at all and is just being defensive. So I guess it's back to dark. Restraining myself from calling him names. So hurt right now. Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15 She believed she could, so she did.

Re: Maybell VI Maybell #2475712 08/04/14 05:28 PM
Joined: Jun 2014 Posts: 131 SE England, United Kingdom M Mat Member
Mat Member M Joined: Jun 2014 Posts: 131 SE England, United Kingdom	He does seem to have a victim's mentality, which seems incredibly self-centred. But as one of the vets say, you can be right or you can be happy. He should want to do these things, but he won't. Maybe we can spend the time figuring out how to get him to take responsibility. But it'll never be as satisfying as him seeing the error of his ways and starting to do right... Just a thought! M:37 W:38 No kids Together since 2006, Married since 2010 EA discovered 06/07/2014 W moved out 06/08/2014

Re: Maybell VI Mat #2475799 08/04/14 08:43 PM
Joined: Apr 2014 Posts: 3,500 M Maybell OP Member
OP Maybell Member M Joined: Apr 2014 Posts: 3,500	Starsky just asked nit84 why still so enmeshed with WS 14 months post-BD. Guess I should ask myself the same question. Oh, and write "STFU" on the insides of my wrists. Last edited by Maybell; 08/04/14 08:46 PM. Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15 She believed she could, so she did.

Re: Maybell VI Maybell #2475804 08/04/14 08:53 PM
Joined: Apr 2014 Posts: 1,174 Mid-Atlantic, USA G GoatGal Member
GoatGal Member G Joined: Apr 2014 Posts: 1,174 Mid-Atlantic, USA	Maybell, I just want you to know that I read your story every night before I go to sleep. I am pulling for you and in between laughing, I'm getting all misty. You make my life better. ---GGG Me 54 Him 63 M 23 T 29 0 Kids Funny Farm of Rescues 12/12 OW-- 5/13 ILYBINILWY: A denied 9/13 Proof OW: ENDED 2/14 Got D papers on my BD I kicked him out for my sanity 9/14 He wants to "talk"?

Re: Maybell VI GoatGal #2475830 08/04/14 09:33 PM
Joined: Apr 2014 Posts: 3,500 M Maybell OP Member
OP Maybell Member M Joined: Apr 2014 Posts: 3,500	GoatGal, that is tremendously kind. Thank you so much. Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15 She believed she could, so she did.

Re: Maybell VI GoatGal #2475831 08/04/14 09:34 PM
Joined: Mar 2014 Posts: 1,428 C claire7 Member
claire7 Member C Joined: Mar 2014 Posts: 1,428	^^^ ditto. I haven't had much time to post anything very thoughtful lately, but reading and appreciating a lot. Me 38 H 40 D 3 T 8 M 6 BD 10/2013

Re: Maybell VI claire7 #2475833 08/04/14 09:39 PM
Joined: Apr 2014 Posts: 1,174 Mid-Atlantic, USA G GoatGal Member
GoatGal Member G Joined: Apr 2014 Posts: 1,174 Mid-Atlantic, USA	Oh, yeah, claire. You too!!!! Me 54 Him 63 M 23 T 29 0 Kids Funny Farm of Rescues 12/12 OW-- 5/13 ILYBINILWY: A denied 9/13 Proof OW: ENDED 2/14 Got D papers on my BD I kicked him out for my sanity 9/14 He wants to "talk"?

Re: Maybell VI GoatGal #2475882 08/05/14 12:37 AM
Joined: Apr 2014 Posts: 3,500 M Maybell OP Member
OP Maybell Member M Joined: Apr 2014 Posts: 3,500	I love you, man!!! (Btw he sent a text apologizing for upsetting me. I'm starting to wonder about his sincerity...) Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15 She believed she could, so she did.

Re: Maybell VI Maybell #2475907 08/05/14 03:34 AM
Joined: Apr 2014 Posts: 183 V vossy Member
vossy Member V Joined: Apr 2014 Posts: 183	I actually think the texts you sent between the two of you were okay, and he didn't seem to get defensive. Moreover, he wanted to set up a time to discuss it which says to me at least that he is willing to work on it, etc. I think you've done okay here; I wouldn't call it a backslide, necessarily. M: 31 H: 36 T: 10.5 (not married) BD: 10/13

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