Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Midlife Crisis Does fear drive the crazy train?

Hi, in pretty much everything I have seen about narcissism this is a classic trait - the need for excessive recognition.

One of the things I learned fast when I became a consultant is 'the client is paying you - they expect the job to be well done, and in their view, the payment is enough!'

And yes, we ar not born as narcissists - early influences appear to be key here. It is also seen as a very very difficult emotional state to treat.

Yeah, I think it's why my ic has mentioned it, I think she's thinking if he is, he ain't coming back anytime soon.

I was so devastated, I think she was planting a seed, to prepare me.

Easy to say, I know, but the experience of many people who have been in a relationship with a narcissist is that when the trauma of the break-up is dealt with, the lbs actually feels better than before

Yes, they also report it actually takes longer to recover.

As you just don't know who you are, nor have any ideas what was true and what was false.

The narc has a discard phase, that can last years, in which the devalue you totally.

I have never lost so much weight ever, in such a short time, never have I wanted almost to become a total hermit over any break up.

It doesn't matter how unreasonable his story or demands, he makes them so plausible. I'm worried that at mediation he might convince mediator I owe him thousands.

Julie,

Stop. Please don't blame yourself for your h not getting help. Yes, I know you are caring and nurturing person. However, you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink. I scurried around and made appointments for my h and the only person who can address his issues is him. Same for your h. It's like if your h goes to IC, you can't make him be honest and do the work. He can go forever but if he isn't honest , it's a waste.

Don't blame yourself for his mess. Sending you a hug!

Boy do they not want to drink. Mine says he's got nothing to talk about to mediator, but in person he over an hour to me of what hs demands were.

Sigh.

Just keep thinking 'teenager with attitude alert'.

hey bea-

just sayin hi- sos with my life - but always glad you & gang are "out there" - just in case.

i can't ever imagine my h "drinking"- narcisistc & stubborn & blind and idk . see glimpses of old guy here or there- but think maybe that original wonderful guy was the "nicotine niceness" and now that that's gone- perhaps nevermore. i'm sure i'll know in the end huh

onwrd & upwrd

Bea, I think your XH just wants your constant attention.

Ow 2 or one was revealed.

Seems that my h was actively dating last year. Hence the blonde bimbo is going to be around for a while. He didn't just grab the first floating past thing.