I think you need to work through your anger over what she has done, you may think you're over it but from your posts you are clearly still upset about it.
Because if you were to be in contact with her I think more likely than not you would show anger towards her over these things.
Me: 35 husband:39 Sons 16 and 11 from my first marriage Twins 5 (boy/girl) Daughter 3 Affair bomb 2/27/14 He moved in with ow 3/13/14 OW kicked him out 6/15/14 4/2016 he seeks help for sexual addiction
I definitely am filled with anger and have began taking anger management classes weekly. When I learned how she disposed of my properties below value just to hurt me in court. I was stabbed hard.
Clearly displaying anger to her only reinforces she made the right decision in leaving me. I'm so lonely and being in the company of others is so empty. If and when I can speak to her I will not show anger but be normal. Should we be doormats and pushovers.? You tell me. You get so accustomed and comfortable with someone and then the pain lingers forever. Had I known of this resource last year I would be working on the marriage with her present. The only way I would see her is in court and under her court order I cannot speak to her so I must stay dark. But I am eating better and exercising more. I need to be in top shape for all the battles and arrows I have to endure. Pray for my court victories.
i am actually over my anger. i just want to see if anything can be saved. has she mutated beyond repair. if i have improved will that mean anything to her. or is she to far gone. will i even want her back. how do others deal with these possible dilemmas. just keeping the faith and trying to keep the vows. dont know how long i can keep it up.
she refuses contact and does not look promising. how long should i stay dark for? how to reemerge.? lawyers dont do anything at all because her lawyer does not respond to my lawyers phone calls and he lied in court about playing phone tag. i called bs on that
Let her go and let go of the entire court issue. I am NOT saying to be a doormat but you just can not let go of what she did and the "lies"
You need to stop playing games, work on you! And stay dark until SHE CONTACTS YOU! (Because legally if you don't there will be consequences)
Me: 35 husband:39 Sons 16 and 11 from my first marriage Twins 5 (boy/girl) Daughter 3 Affair bomb 2/27/14 He moved in with ow 3/13/14 OW kicked him out 6/15/14 4/2016 he seeks help for sexual addiction
Your in a tough spot for sure, it's very hard to deal with what has happened. I'm not clear if the GF you picked up is for friendship or more. I know you said you don't do guy friends well.
I'd just suggest you be careful, and if it is actually a GF, what are you doing trying to save your M? It will just complicate things. Have you read DB?
Good luck, and sorry not trying to be harsh, just realistic.
Thanks The friend is for friendship. Museums dinners shows. Not romantic. I'm working on myself but this is energy draining and depressing. Why can't things be the way they were? I have improved and seek therapy.
I have work new connections that can transform my work life
I worry about my w most likely two year bf situation I only figured out two months ago. Db says that if w has om and I get a gf then it is all over. How long can you hold hope that she will return. I pray the psalms. I pray for her physical and mental abilities because she looks crazed and heavier.
She has such hate for me, filed a restraining order against me to avoid talking or answering questions. She and her new friends are robbing the contents of the home day by day and I cannot do anything about it. Any advice to soften a hardened heart. ? Everyone else says work on yourself and forget her completely. But my memories haunt me. The good ones over the years. The concern I have that she is not well that I want to make everything great again and have a new begining with her. This is beyond last resort territory. If you think the DB coaches can help my marriage be restored ill try that. Thanks
