I'm sorry, labug, if you're reading this I won't be writing about compassion today. I still feel it, deep down, but not enough to write about it.
I'm wondering about why you think it's necessary to apologize to me. This is your story and I'm just a fellow traveler, just a few steps ahead of you.
Anger isn't a bad thing. No need to apologize for it. You can be angry about the actions of someone and still have compassion for them. It's not black or white.
We do get stuck in our inability to accept all the parts of us.
The angry part of me was never acceptable as a child. I've had a very difficult time getting past that. We all have our wounds.
There's a kundalini anger practice that I used to do. It helped.
Last edited by labug; 07/04/1402:59 PM.
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
Labug, you've been generous with your insights and helping me move out of stuck places in my mind. I apologized because I wanted you to see that I wasn't ignoring your guidance but just taking some time before I got to it. Luke didn't always listen to Obi-Wan -- sometimes he had to go off to rescue the princess.
I'm actually really OK with how angry I got. I have very good reason to be angry. Now that I've examined it I'm comfortable and relieved that it's there and I'm not just being a doormat. It can be useful to me. And I had been worried at not feeling it, so when I did finally I had to do something with it. I guess I put on a fairly full show.
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15
Your last post shows so much movement. You're getting there, it's just not without difficulty, pain and work. There is another side to all of this and you are getting there.
Life is full of ups and downs, good and not so good, ride the waves.
About your use of the word "tantrum"-belittling, negating your experience of anger. Why? We feel anger for a reason and it can be useful. Anger isn't the problem, it's our reaction to the anger that can cause harm.
Don't push it aside, let it be and see what happens.(which it sounds like is what you did. I love your description of breathing through it and noting all the things you were really feeling)
I think women have a problem with this because we are taught to be nice and that anger isn't "pretty" blah, blah, blah. We aren't allowed the experience of learning to handle those very powerful feelings so we turn to all kinds of dysfunctional ways of dealing with it.
Enough! It's a beautiful, albeit hot day, here in the desert. Hope you all have a lovely day, wherever you are.
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
