Well only you can make the call Thorn but I wouldn't contact her at all. As soon as she gets you to, she'll probably go cold again. You know your WAW better than we do though but my feeling is don't take the bait. I almost did with my WAW...one day they're warm and fuzzy and miss you...the next day they talk to you like a stranger. She needs her time and you still need yours. Something we LBS's seem to lose sight of, at least I know I do, is that even though the WAW chose to leave, it is still emotional torture for them as well. Only time will get you both to a place where you both can truly be yourselves again and have a proper conversation. Just my opinion. You do seem to be in better spirits these days which is nice to see!
ME: 43 W:44 M 13 years on 5-5-01 T 18 years BD 4/27/14 D papers served 5/5/14 (how appropriate a date) WAW moved out 5/12/14 Papers filed 6/27/14 Divorce granted 07/17/14 Our marriage ends 11/17/14
Yep, my plan is to evaluate our next contact, think about it, post it here, and decide what my next course of action is.
No rash decisions, only calculated, well thought out decisions, after carefully deciding if my next move is going to bring me closer or farther from my goal.
Overall a good day. Got lots done at work today and went to lunch with a colleague.
Now that I'm home, my PMA has taken a dive. I just feel discouraged at the moment, like there's no point in trying to save my relationship. Thinking about all the planning we were doing and how excited she seemed about our future right before the bomb has me wondering what was real and what wasn't.
Perhaps she was only with me because I was a good dad to her daughter? Perhaps she hasn't loved me in a long long time?
Haven't heard from WAW since Father's Day. I just feel down when I think about how all this happened so quickly. How can she just let me go like that after all the sh!t I went through to be there for her and daughter. I feel taken advantage of and used.
I'm also experiencing anger, particularly when I'm driving and stuck in traffic. I know this is part of the process, I just struggle with it because I'm usually a pretty easy going guy.
I know, detach and GAL.
Sorry about the pity party, I'm just not feeling very DB today.
Thornton, I am gonna tell you what you like to tell me.
Dont give up! You havent done anything or seen anything to tell you that its over yet. In fact you are still on the upswing right now. The last contact you had was a positive TM. I know exactly what youre talking about with being lonely as soon as you get home. It happens to me every night. I have been getting a lot of sleep lately lol!
I will be that you will hear from her this weekend. Im sure we arent supposed to think about that though...She is having a hard time with this too. You know she is. She told you that.
I also experience the anger thing. I have it a lot at work where all I want to do is sit an sulk. People come up to ask me for help and I get very irritated. I am a manager...I shouldnt be doing that. Im doing some anger management work with the C right now too. Just ask yourself when you get angry "will being upset help anything right now?" or tell yourself "the only person that is affected by me being upset is me." Those help me when I start to lose it.
I have pity parties everyday. Too bad we dont live close, we could have sleepovers lol. Keep at it man, you are doing well.
M:33 W:30 T:10 M:2 B/D: 5/27/14 S: 5/28/14 Wife moved back in 7/18/14
Thornton, I am gonna tell you what you like to tell me.
Dont give up! You havent done anything or seen anything to tell you that its over yet. In fact you are still on the upswing right now. The last contact you had was a positive TM. I know exactly what youre talking about with being lonely as soon as you get home. It happens to me every night. I have been getting a lot of sleep lately lol!
I will be that you will hear from her this weekend. Im sure we arent supposed to think about that though...She is having a hard time with this too. You know she is. She told you that.
I also experience the anger thing. I have it a lot at work where all I want to do is sit an sulk. People come up to ask me for help and I get very irritated. I am a manager...I shouldnt be doing that. Im doing some anger management work with the C right now too. Just ask yourself when you get angry "will being upset help anything right now?" or tell yourself "the only person that is affected by me being upset is me." Those help me when I start to lose it.
I have pity parties everyday. Too bad we dont live close, we could have sleepovers lol. Keep at it man, you are doing well.
I will BET
M:33 W:30 T:10 M:2 B/D: 5/27/14 S: 5/28/14 Wife moved back in 7/18/14
Keep going Thornton. I messed up big time last weekend but I have dusted myself down despite it feeling like I'm back to square one. You aren't at square one. You're doing well and I'm rooting for you.
M 35 W 31 D 10 Married 3 years Together 11 Single since Nov 13 Moved out Dec 13 ILYBNILWY, 'I don't want to be a boring housewife, 'I don't fancy you any more' OM confirmed Jun 14
The first month after my H left, I went to bed pretty much fifteen minutes after I got the kids down. Then one night I found myself absorbed in something and I didn't go up to bed till almost eleven. I've been behaving like a reasonably healthy adult ever since.
It helps to have stay-at-home GAL interests. Uncover a new author you've never read, get Duolingo and learn a language. Borrow audiobooks from the library for your commute. That sort of thing. Fill your head with thoughts that do more than hurt.
And hang in there!
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15
