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Do you feel the pain from your end of the M problems. I think that's such a big part of my emotions. It's like I want to just grab a hold of her and tell her sorry I am, and I'll never do it again. Even though I know it would mean nothing!! Thanks for the kind words and support!!

Absolutely I feel guilt for the things I did to contribute to the breakdown of the relationship.

It's terrible guilt. And sometimes I beat myself up over it.

But this I know is true... NO ONE is perfect, including our WAW's. Both of our WAW's contributed to the breakdown of our relationships too.

When you have a broken heart, it's easy to take 100% of the blame. Try to fight that because it's not true.

Good points all!! Today she was wearing shorts haven't seen that in a while, and I feel in love with her legs the first time I met her. That is double tough. Thanks for sharing Thornton!!!

I am a very good person that held a lot of pain and anger from my youth!! Now that I am seeing all that clearly, it is so nice but hard. I don't expect her to come back, but being that I am better hard not to want to share with someone special. And she was someone very special. Just trying to let go now. Hopefully time will be good to me and show me even more of what I can fix and make me that much better. I like the new me, and not having to hold all the stuff inside.

The best feeling in the world would be, to share what I have learned with my W and kids as they get older. Don't hold onto grudges, if you are angry or wronged. Just jump and say what you need to, share your story and feelings. Never hold it in or let things you love pass you by without experiencing the whole picture first. And then go on with your life like tomorrow will be the best day ever. And they can always depend on me to be the best I can, even if I mess up!!

I hope everyone on the board gets that chance or at least some if it. And you are right Thornton, the heart wants what the heart wants. Just need to look at yourself and see what you can do for you. And maybe we will all get lucky and get the best ending possible!! Whatever that may be for each of us.

One thing I do I find helps a bit, even though it's weird. I text the stuff I want to say to her about our M to myself. I have a long healthy list going so far. All the I love you, I miss you, I need you back, I want you back, I am sorry for all I did, I know you never want me again, I hope you find someone to make you happy, and all that stuff!! Whatever comes to my mind I get it out to myself. Funny but it helps to alleviate a little of the pain!! Which is the goal!!

Wrong approach. Best solution is not to think about her period. I know I know, easier said than done. But if you have to think of her, think of her flaws, not her assets. Everyone has flaws...you, me, and our 'perfect' spouses. It will make it easier for you if you think of her flaws and what you did not like. I am not saying to hate the girl, but when you find yourself dwelling on her, think of the flaws. You will not hurt yourself as much with your mind that way. Just my 2 cents.

Very true on trying not focus on her, and very very hard too. You can't help who you fall for. I am really feeling so much love and respect for my W lately . Whether it's right or not who knows. I am turning back into the man I used to be and want to be . That man is deeply in love with that woman that left me. And whatever happens that won't change for a while . It's not a contest or competition, but the feelings I have in my deepest of heart. I can see a little hope again, and will try to build on the small steps.

New little tidbit. Today we had to meet for the D's, before that she texted about takng a midterm for school. Said she had been crying all morning and couldn't stop. Said she felt, like she let the kids, me, and her family down. I told her we both let them all down, just as much me as her. She said she is so stressed and so overwhelmed, that she cant do it. I just kept up with the you can do it, you can see the good if you want too, but I cant do it for you.

I took the D's to her place to drop them off, they wanted me to take them to dinner. While there she was crying because she was on the phone with her mom, and her mom said quit living in your pity party, its not helping anything. By the time I left, she wanted me to clothes shopping for the girls, which I did no problem. Before I left though, I couldn't help it, I said to hell with it and gave her a hig which she half took in, I think she is starting to break a little bit.

During the early convo, she said she couldnt come back to the house, was afraid to argue with me, was afraid she couldnt trust me. I told her I undestand, we dont have to live together, dont have to be together all the time, just take it slow, very slow, and try to build on it. I also told her That the girls and I still love her very much. And that the past needs to be in the past.

Was it a mistake, quite possibly. I had to follow my heart and gut though. Felt like a small breakthrough moment. I know she is having second thoughts all around, and I was just tryong to be there for here the best I could. Please if i need it rail me. But try to be gentle, I saw a small opening and took my shot.

It is good IF she is having second thoughts. Just be careful not to jump in with both feet. Nothing wrong with dipping your toes in to test the water. I wish I had solid advice for you moving forward but I and still searching those answers for myself.

Keep it up!

I don't know if there solid advice. It could be nothing it could be something, who knows but the W. And each stich is different in what the wife wants. I did get 2 pieces though. She said she didn't want to come back to the house we have now , I will get it sold no problem. And she is afraid to argue with me, we haven't in a very long time, and I don't plan on anytime soon. Need to back up breathe and take a look at all of it. Realize it ain't over, and that if anything just a beginning.