Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers Continuing my DB journey part 3

Why can't a schedule of the games be sent to him? Are practices not schedule? It should not be your "responsibility" to notify him of various ways for him to take part in his son's life.

Did someone contact you when he failed to pick up son from practice on his day? I really believe things like this should be documented. He can't afford to drop the ball like that!

You can't coddle him into being a good father. I'm not suggesting vindictiveness. You sound like a woman who has a good head on her shoulders, so stay sharp.

He comes and sees the boys at our home while I'm at work. So he just never showed up last night. I asked a friend to watch the boys Saturday because my lawyer advised me not to ask him to take the boys but if he offers to allow him.

Well anyway my friends husband told my H that I asked them to watch the boys because I had to work. So now he's texting his mom about it.

Also there is no calendar the coach just told us at practice. That he was at. When the game was

Okay, I misunderstood. I thought you were saying H didn't pick him after the practice.

Sorry I should have been more clear.

Sandi - am I wasting my time? I have asked my lawyer to move slow with the divorce from our end but not to impede anything. Should I just go through with it? I know you don't know him but am I am idiot for wanting/thinking I might be able to save our marriage

I know this is directed to Sandi, but if I may jump in:

The actual divorce can take as long as you want it to.... but the conditions during the separation need to be taken care of 2 months ago (parenting plan, sole use of house, finances,etc.)... you seem to be swimming in a bunch of ambiguity with him (especially regarding consistency and structure for his time with the kids).

BTW, did you ever consult your other attorneys regarding the no contact order for 18girl?

Sorry wounded I wasn't trying to leave you out as you've been so good to me from
Day one. I got a huge bill from my attorney Wednesday. I haven't contacted her since because I can't afford it anymore!

I have not pursued those things because I have to file am 'emergency hearing' so I will have to pay all the court fees etc. I really am in no financial position to do so. I'm barely keeping my head above water. He has 2 off vehicles I own in cash that he is refusing to return that we were trying to work out amongst the attornies however now he's backing out of the deal and says he's keeping them. Bc it's civil and were married even though they're in my name there's nothing I can do short of setting a hearing. Dmned if I do damned if I don't. I was planning on selling the vehicles to free up some cash to pay my L. Technically you can't sell anything once the D is filed but there is a provision that says if it's being sold to pay for the D or finances it is allowed.

Do you know how hard it is to be nice to him?!? I bit my tongue through text multiple times today. I even mustered an okay have a good weekend to his 'you didn't tell me about the games'. I didn't even argue because it's just not worth it. Not worth starting a texting battle. I also made a point to send him a pic of S3 at basketball. I'm not sure if any of that is pursuing. I never got a reply. I did it not to pursue but just to show him we are having fun too

TO,

I'm sorry, I want you to succeed at saving your marriage, so please don't take offense to what I'm going to tell you.

You are pursuing, plain and simple. Go back and read the Last Resort Technique in Divorce Remedy. Do you know why he didn't respond to pic of S3? Because he KNOWS he can have you back any time he wants. He has to FEEL like he is losing YOU.

I know you need to respond to texts regarding the kids. Keep your answers to "yes" or "no" or "the game starts at 4pm".

PLEASE do not text anything other than responses that make it appear like you are DONE and fed up with his bullsh!t! NO pics of kids, nothing!

I'm not saying to text angry responses, text responses like you don't care anymore. Like maybe you met some ripped stud who is falling in love with you! Or you suddenly realized how much better life is without him!

Get angry! He left you and kids for a effin' 18 year old! You don't deserve this crap!

Until you can do that, I really don't see any reason why your WAH would want to change. He has the best of both worlds! He has an 18 year old gf, and a loyal wife at home waiting for him in case things don't work out with her!

I promise you, he knows how bad you want him, it's obvious in your messages and what you type here.

I'm sorry for the tough love. Like I said, I want you to succeed and get your WAH back.

PLEASE, let him go! It's the ONLY way to get him back.

Thank you Thornton. I didn't
Mean to send the picture as pursuing I want to save my M so I'm not trying to disregard the advice I am given here.

I do leave him alone. My texts are short and to the point. But I guess I shouldn't have said have a good weekend. He said thank you and hope you do too. That was the first time in awhile I've gotten a nice response. I guess I just thought it was a good idea to throw that in there because he has made in his mind what an evil W I am and that all of this is my fault.

I'm going to keep on keepin on. Thanks for the reality check. I swear I feel like I can't even talk to H anymore without coming here first! I feel like I make so many mistakes

What happens if I do all this and it just continues to push them closer together as it has? I mean they've gone away together every weekend. He's saying how he's moved on and I need to do the same. That he's finally happy now. I know believe nothing of what I hear and 1/2 of what I see but he is NOT keeping the road home smooth. Even if he wanted to come back how would he even do so with ALL the damage he has down. The airing of all our personal business on social media and the things, terrible things, he had said about both of out families