I have had someone staying in house during days last few weeks. My church and family stepped up and planned this not me. I have had people at night for almost the last week too.
The cops said when I called them a month ago, that he is trying to get me to do something stupid. I don't understand how he has the brain compacity to do that, when other things don't seem to register one bit in his pea brain.
I am hoping that the divorce is quick and simple. It all depends on the mood that we get him in - so it is a crap shoot. I know that he has to be mad that I am not doing it his way. He wanted me to do a mediator with him. But in our dumb area I live in lawyers are not allowed in mediation. If we do end up in mediation there is going to be a lot of stipulations to protect me, as my lawyer says H has this weird poswer over me.
I have started the kids in IC. That was a feet to get scrappy to agree. The kids know more than H thought they did. Someone should not text OW while kids that read sit on their laps. Imagine having a conversation with your kid about that - it was awful. Dumb a$$. It was hard to control my anger - I just remained calm and truth darted away today.
I am hoping today goes better than yesterday. I am tired of living in the same house. H disgusts and repulsed me due to the ea and pa. I want to kick his butt everytime he touches the kids BC I see him as tainted now. I dislike having the same days off. At least I have other people around to keep monster away. I was looking at finances trying to see what my budget will be after divorce. It is hard BC I am going to have a job change. Also I need to also figure out community property, if it literally means fifty fifty. Or if I get h to agree to something we can have it that way.
What state are you in? I am guessing California. How old are your kids? There should be information on line giving you an idea about child support. How long have you been married? That should be part of the formula too.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
I looked up the information on the state website. I will have a different less paying job by the time this is over. H is hourly, so his pay is up and down. It has been up lately BC he works extra shifts to be around ow. I need to figure out my exact pay for my new job
He has been served. His lawyer sent me what he wants. He obviously has been working on this for awhile. The fight is on, as I don't care for what he wants. Help me? UGH
I'm glad he was finally served. You've been anxious and worried about this for a couple of days. How is he acting? Are you and the kids okay? Help you? What do you need?
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Remember just because he wants something, that does not mean he will get it. Remember everything with the lawyer it is business, not a way to work out your emotions. Have you worked out what you need? Why do you need to go to a job that pays less?
What help are you looking for? Kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
So Hs proposal is more controlling dribble. I am not going to agree to what his lawyer sent. He has almost everything listed down to circulating fans. LMAO. He never told me he was served, but it happend it OW house...LOL.
We are still in the same house. I cannot get him out unless I feel like my life is in danger or he hits me. If I leave the house, it means that I don't want it, and he can have the possessions I leave behind.
He is going to fight me tooth and nail for custody of kids. I will always be in court with him until our youngest is 18. The help is what has worked for you all to get majority custody? Any suggestions on what helped you in your divorce would be great! We may end up going to trial on this. If we use his texts in trial - he is toast.
The thing is that H has poked momma bear. What he was suggesting in the D was a purposeful insult. I am done with the controlling fruit cake. The game is on.
Sadly my ex didn't want the kids other than what was mandated by the courts. His affair partner/new wife has her own two kids. They schedule the kids so they are kid free every other weekend. Since my oldest two have refused to spend weekends with them, I haven't had a kid free weekend since the divorce.
I suppose I could say it worked out for me in that way because I have been so lucky having them. I am sorry that I don't have any advice there. Just don't let this become so crazy that the kids get lost in the chaos.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
It is crazy to live in same house and get a divorce. I am very attached to my kids. I know h thinks he is too, but he had changed. He has done some crazy stuff that makes me question his mental state and judgment. I don't want the kids around this. Everyone has assured me the kids will see thru him. But I don't want my kids to hurt. I hope and pray he can get stable for the kids or remove himself from their lives. It is obvious there is going to be s fight over custody. H used to be so good, and now he is just crazy.
