Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers Hi I'm new, I hope I won't be a burden... prt 2

Oh come on mrbond im an idiot and im sure everyones gathered that by now.. I find it hard to control my emotions and get a grip.. and to be fair when I got home she asked if I had brought lunch for work.. meaning im not going because I would have got it to take it with me to work.. she said she wanted to eat out so I went and got us both a bite.. she has been really like a zombir no emotions whatsoever

I so badly feel like telling her to wear the wedding ring.. I know I shouldnt but how can I get her to.. shall I mention wheres the ring?

Are you kidding? You've posted your text conversations here which show you are very controlling. How did that work out for you? Don't mention the ring... unless you want her to tell you to move out again.

Everyone here is genuinely trying to help you, even MrBond. How are you not getting this?

I know you guys are im not saying you are not I didnt mean to come across as that I apologies if I did.. I honestly appreciate everything you guys are saying its just me I feel im a lost cause..

"Oh come on mrbond im an idiot and im sure everyones gathered that by now.. I find it hard to control my emotions and get a grip.. and to be fair when I got home she asked if I had brought lunch for work.."

You're making excuses. There are no excuses. Start acting like a man and just take responsibility for screwing up.

"she has been really like a zombir no emotions whatsoever"

Bottom line is that THIS is how she feels and you can't let go because you're insecure.

"I so badly feel like telling her to wear the wedding ring.. I know I shouldnt but how can I get her to.. shall I mention wheres the ring?"

Why don't you grab her again and while holding her down, you force the ring on her finger? That sounds like something you'd do.

1wish, you need IC to figure out why you have this pattern of sabotaging yourself, then apologizing and saying things like "I'll understand if you give up on me". Where is that mindset coming from? How can you get a handle on self control? Do you have ADD? (That is a serious question).

The fact that you feel like meditation is not for you tells me it may be just what you need to calm your brain so you can think first and act second. The fact that you cannot name any real interests to pursue tell me you have a lot of soul searching and growing up to do.

Oh and you can Krazy Glue it onto her finger so that it stays on permanently. That way she will always be YOURS. Let us know how it turns out.

Results of Your Adult
Attention Deficit Disorder Quiz

You scored a total of  23 (ADHD possible)

Inattention Subscale: 14 (Moderate)
Hyperactivity/Impulsivity Subscale: 9 (Low)

More excuses. So you took an online ADD test and self-diagnosed yourself as having ADD which is why you're telling us you can't try meditation rather than just trying it.

It goes to show that you're looking for the magic bullet that will make everything perfect. You're not going to find it. I can almost guarantee that that is the reason why your W went to talk to the other guy. He sounds much more mature than you. Can you be that person? Sure. But you're not willing to do the work. Why not go ahead and file the papers already and let her be happy with an adult for a change?

I seriously dont know what else to say.. I done the test because someone asked me to.. its me and me only I understand that..

And to be honest meditation classes are too far from me however I have checked on youtube and ive seen a few vids.. im going to try it at home if that ok..

Who asked you to do an ADD test, 1Wish?

Forget about the meditation. If you don't want to try it, it's fine. There are many other things you can do instead. The bigger issue is that you're finding excuses NOT to do things. MrBond hit the nail on the head in saying you're looking for the easy way out. We all started out the same way. We all looked for "the answer". The answer is this: do the work. Improve yourself. If you don't do it, not only will you lose your wife but you'll be back here in a few years with a new woman and the same problems.

How far through the books are you? Do you understand it? Do you have any questions about the book?