She was being nice to you. She offered you pizza and it sounds like you acted like an a$$ about it. Then it went downhill from there. Maybe you couldve said thank you and that it was thoughtful of her to even consider doing anything for you. I thought I had jealousy issues, but they pale in comparison with yours.
your so right I guess the tone I used was very genuine that I wasnt hungry but.. it might have come across as that due to typical wording I use.. thanks for pointing that out!
To me it sounds like even after all of that, she calmed down and would probably still give you a chance if you acted right. You are walking a fine line here where she is giving you chance after chance and you will eventually lose if you dont calm down. Have you read the 5LL? It might help you to do so. You have to trust her sometimes too. You need to step back for a minute, calm down and treat her like your W, not a daughter that you caught at a BF's house.
M:33 W:30 T:10 M:2 B/D: 5/27/14 S: 5/28/14 Wife moved back in 7/18/14
One book at a time Ben. 1Wish isn't ready for that one yet :-)
1Wish, I tend to agree with Ben that you may have a chance if you got yourself together. She sleeps in the same bed, she ML with you and you can touch her. These are all good things. You're more focused on what she says rather than what she does. The positive I was referring to was the positive interaction you had yesterday where you shelved the relationship talk and she chatted with you for a couple of hours. You can do it. You really can. You just have to focus and apply this stuff 24/7 instead of an hour or two of OK-to-good hours followed by a controlling text exchange.
Me: 31, W: 29 T: 4 M: 2 Kids: 3 (SS: 7, SD: 4, D: 3) Separated, still living together: Nov 2013 Separate bedrooms: Feb 2014 W working away; kids with me: Nov 2014
One book at a time Ben. 1Wish isn't ready for that one yet :-)
1Wish, I tend to agree with Ben that you may have a chance if you got yourself together. She sleeps in the same bed, she ML with you and you can touch her. These are all good things. You're more focused on what she says rather than what she does. The positive I was referring to was the positive interaction you had yesterday where you shelved the relationship talk and she chatted with you for a couple of hours. You can do it. You really can. You just have to focus and apply this stuff 24/7 instead of an hour or two of OK-to-good hours followed by a controlling text exchange.
Thanks for the encouraging words guys gives me hope.. I will do this I promise.. I just mess up on txts.. its like my paranoia kicks in when im not with her due to all the lies.
And may I point out that 1wish has read the 5 love language and got his other half to do the love language survey a few weeks back.. he has also read love must be tough as well as no More mr nice guy.. and how to stop your divorce.. yes 1wish has been very literature friendly recently.. those books I read in 3 days back to back as they were ebooks.. not making excuses for db honestly not.. those books stopped me from txting the W. As my time was occupied during work..
Be strong and dont accuse her of stuff. Maybe try to ask questions in a way that she isnt scared to answer. Good job reading all of those. There is also another good one when you get done with DB/DR called Hope for the Separated, same guy that wrote 5LL. But yeah one book at a time lol.
M:33 W:30 T:10 M:2 B/D: 5/27/14 S: 5/28/14 Wife moved back in 7/18/14
I wont ive been on my best behaviour today... and she said something odd...
She said lucky you didnt have hiv with your reputation.. but then again you could have caught hiv from when you worked in the strip club from the female strippers.. if we dont break up im going to tell our kids you worked there...
So she hasnt made her mind up her mind.. guess you guys were right.. she would probably gice another chance..
Also that guy that she became friends with gives me advice.. funny huh.. he says pretty much what you guys say and has told me the main issues she had.. heres the text he sent me
She said she wants u to be chill because she feels caged. And wants freedom. And be that loving and caring husband. She used to complain that I were out alllllll the time leaving her by herself when she didn't like ur family. She holds that as a massive grudge. That's where everything started from. And she said that u guys don't have anything in common... She said something about u both are growing up differently or something
To gain the most out of the DB book, you must finish the entire book from start to finish. No skipping, or peeking ahead. Not gonna work that way at all.
Originally Posted By: 1Wish
I just mess up on txts.. its like my paranoia kicks in when im not with her due to all the lies.
This is good self-awareness on your part. Then don't text W at all. As you've seen, texting W invites all sort of problems because you just shoot off your mouth which is not good for you, W, or the M.
Regarding your friend's wise words, yep...we all have been telling you here to give W space and not act like her father.
Ok so my wife keeps asking me to just give her space and move out for 3-6 weeks so she can think clearly, can someone please tell me if this will break down her emotional wall and make her miss me enough to stay with me while I maintain a low contact and work on myself?
There is no guarantee. You can't ask the people on here if she will miss you or not. My guess is that she won't miss you. That she'll enjoy you not being on her case all the time. I mean, the episode with her male friend just happened a few days ago and I doubt if you've changed all that much. Plus I have a feeling that your insecurities will keep rising to the top if you're gone and you're going to shoot yourself in the foot again.
Where does she expect you to go?
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
There is no guarantee. You can't ask the people on here if she will miss you or not. My guess is that she won't miss you. That she'll enjoy you not being on her case all the time. I mean, the episode with her male friend just happened a few days ago and I doubt if you've changed all that much. Plus I have a feeling that your insecurities will keep rising to the top if you're gone and you're going to shoot yourself in the foot again.
Where does she expect you to go?
Ill go to my mums house.. and the guy has sent me pictures of his marriage and everything to proove to me theres nothing going on and its just my paranoia he says I need to get her and him out my head because thats whats driving my negativity and ruining my marriage.
He says he has stopped talking to her and so it seems so.
He says that I shouldnt move out not yet and get the car for her because a car represents freedom.
I hear that after the guy truelly moves on and lets go thats when the girl comes back.. I dont know but if your telling me not to move out I guess I wont unless she tells me.. because shes looking to tell me in about a month. I literally have a month to tey and fix things.
She was crying so much yesterday I honestly dont think she would make a decision with me being there. So I really dont kniw mrbond
