Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers Hi I'm new, I hope I won't be a burden... prt 2

I just find out things she lied about and I loose it.. I losr her I dont blame no one if they bail out I understand

25,

Just to clarify for all, by "love" I mean "in love". I'm sure she may love him in some way, but the "in love" or "sexual love" isn't there. Thats not to say that it cannot be recovered as I and others on here (you too!) are testament that "in love" feelings CAN return. Therefore, I don't think it's over if she doesn't love him now.

Unfortunately, the OP is making mistakes that are going to seal his fate.... Perhaps you and some of the other patient vets on here can help him pull this one out of the steep dive that it's in.

I also agree with you (as Starsky said- thanks ) that he must work on himself. In fact he needs to BIG TIME. Trying to control and cajole his wife will get him nowhere.

-HS

Everyone on this board has been lied to by their spouse. You still need to get yourself under control.

What is the worst case scenario for you? That you wife is sleeping with someone else?

Okay, assume that she is. Is that a deal breaker?

If it is not a deal breaker, than calm down. Focus on yourself. You already admitted that you treated your W like crap during your M. If you continue to treat her like crap (which you are doing in your texting sessions) then she is going to run for the hills if she is smart. You need to become a better man and give her some space.

1Wish,

GET. A. GRIP. DUDE.

Reading the text exchanges with your W reminds me of a bad Jerry Springer re-run and all hell breaks lose with fists flying everywhere.

If you don't get a grip of your emotions asap, I'm out.

I will try my best brother I swear it I will.

Came home later than expected by a lot.. a 180 for me... didnt say hi got changed had a shower shaved and then had a cig.. said hi in a over enthusiastic way and then went to the bedroom.. she called me to the kitchen and said she made pizza if I wanted some I said ill have it later if im hungry.. told her I got our letters from my mums house.. she went n checked.. I went on my fone as usually she complains but I dnt give a [censored] now... she wants a divorce im gna do woteva I want now.. she can do wot she wants..

I got changed and she asked where im going.. acted like I didnt hear.. then told her im going out ill b back in a bit.. she said u sjldnt have come home.. I kept it very soothingly sweet and said I had to have a shower.. she said u couldve had it at ur mums.. I said nah I dont feel comfortable using someone else's towel.. she said its ur mums u could've.. I said nah.. well bye... closed the bedroom door n got my shoes.. she got up n opened the door.. which she never does she always has the door closed at night.. odd.. but I left n went out.. another 180 for me.. she must definately think im up to something.. oh well I need to get cigs.. but lets extend this cig journey.. ill go back when shes asleep so its a whole day wothout me.. shall I sleep on the sofa to tonight? That would be another 180 or is this too much? If I sleep on the sofa id be expected to sleep there everyday.. damn uncomfortable sofa..

Im listening n giving her space.. im being nice.. she is just my room mate now.. n I need to stay focused.. any tome I have anything on my mind ill speak to my friends here.. even the ones that have forsaken me.. but I understand.. forgive me im young and ignorant and foolish..

"any tome I have anything on my mind ill speak to my friends here.. even the ones that have forsaken me.. "

Wow. Pretty dramatic.

How do we know you aren't going to go off again? I mean, you couldn't even stop from texting her for 24 hours. AND you threatened a guy who was her friend. That was pretty nuts. I can see why your W doesn't want to tell you anything and is afraid that your changes won't last.

I mean they didn't even last for 24 hours.

1Wish, you're a young guy and you have a long life ahead of you. The way you're carrying on now, you don't have to worry about your wife because you won't have one for much longer. You'll have to worry about the string of broken relationships that follow because you're controlling and paranoid.

Depsite how much you've bombed out so far, you have actually done something right and got positive results. What I don't understand is how you've not been able to put two and two together: you chase, she runs... you back off, she's more more friendly towards you. As strange and complicated as it seems, it's a very simple science.

Come on, time to pull your head in. You CAN do it.

Finish the book!!!

She wasnt friendly she was harsh in her words when she said I shouldve had a shower at my mums..

Im gna read the book now I promise n read to part 3..

And mr bond I dont have a choice im just going to have to do this.. I cant mess up now..

She was being nice to you. She offered you pizza and it sounds like you acted like an a$$ about it. Then it went downhill from there. Maybe you couldve said thank you and that it was thoughtful of her to even consider doing anything for you. I thought I had jealousy issues, but they pale in comparison with yours.