Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy Is OW just batsh!$ crazy?

Thank you, the non detached part of me was really hoping that with OW in Florida H would act differently......... why I would think that who knows. Oh well, it's a tough day but the minutes still pass so I will get through this.

Omg!!!
Ok so I have to admit I have a few friends that are well, not very "mature/take the high road" when it comes to what H is doing to me.....

One friend (and I had no clue till well into it and have had no part in it) started texting H from a # he doesn't know flirting with him pretending to be this made up person. He is TOTALLY flirting back, asking for pics, talking about meeting up for dinner....

he told his made up person about our divorce but not a word about OW. Ummmmmmmm he can't even stay faithful to OW, lol.

I am staying out of this one, except to read the screen shots forwarded to me but I would LOVE to send them on to OW. Wonder how fast that relationship would end?

Wow, I can't believe what I am reading........ H thinks I got pregnant with this baby on purpose to keep him, ummmmmmmmm I didn't know he wanted to leave?! And we had bought a new house less than 30 days before I hit pregnant so why would I think he wanted out??

He also says he left because I wasn't a good mom, I was too strict with my older boys but he would never tell me that because it would crush me. But says I am a much better mom now.

Yep, I am crushed. I am a strict parent :-( I wonder what the other "real" reasons he left are??? Since he obviously lied/didn't tell me everything

^^^^^^^^

Yep. Your h is an a$$hat. I'm sorry. That's the nicest I could muster.

Focus on you. You are showing strength in adversity to your kids. You will get through this.

Thank you ladies, it's just crushing to hear how he really feels. He is always so "poker faced" with me and very distant I never know how to read him. These messages to the fake person are a RARE insight to what he is actually thinking.

I know it most likely wouldn't do any good but would love to call him out on as few things.

He has said that only I think the divorce is his fault because he doesn't want to work on things.

He said I wouldn't accept him completely and that's another reason he left.

He said he knows I still hope he will come back (time to go darker and make sure there is NO pursuit or does this mean he just knows the path home is smoothly paved??)

He said he wanted to leave almost a year ago but stayed because of the kids.

He said after he left I decided to make changes (I guess he noticed but doesn'tcare about my 180's?????)

Twin Mom,

Just a couple of observations. In regards to your h wanting to leave a year ago, I say that's script. My h wanted to leave 10 yrs ago, 5 yrs ago, 6 months ago prior to BD. Blah, blah, blah.

Do I think your h thinks you would take him back? I do think he thinks that. You are 9 months pregnant and have 4 other children. However, why would you want to take him back? Look, I realize this a M saving site. You can and should work on you and make you the best Twin Mom (of 5) possible. Your h would have to really, really addresss his issues and that is something you have zero control over. Could he do that? It's possible and it would take years of work on his part. Again, you have nothing to do with that.

Focus on you and the kids. You sound like a devoted mom and you have been through. so much. Take the high road. It really is the best option.

Thank you, I am just so crushed by all this because he never told ME any of this. He just left and only said "we don't see eye to eye" so actually having reasons why he left is new to me.

He is so conflict avoidant that he just never wanted to leave and not talk about it. I always thought that in his mind I was a wonderful mother and I truly thought he would have listed that as one of my good qualities. But to see him "say" I am not to this made up person he has never met makes me wonder what else he thinks and has said to others.

I can and will continue to LOVE my kids, I just have always been a very strict parent and as a result my older boys are very respectful to other adults, eat healthy, and are on honor roll at a very good private school.






quote=Georgiabelle]Twin Mom,

Just a couple of observations. In regards to your h wanting to leave a year ago, I say that's script. My h wanted to leave 10 yrs ago, 5 yrs ago, 6 months ago prior to BD. Blah, blah, blah.

Do I think your h thinks you would take him back? I do think he thinks that. You are 9 months pregnant and have 4 other children. However, why would you want to take him back? Look, I realize this a M saving site. You can and should work on you and make you the best Twin Mom (of 5) possible. Your h would have to really, really addresss his issues and that is something you have zero control over. Could he do that? It's possible and it would take years of work on his part. Again, you have nothing to do with that.

Focus on you and the kids. You sound like a devoted mom and you have been through. so much. Take the high road. It really is the best option. [/quote]

Twinmom,

You seem to be taking as TRUTH the comments of a cheater during a text conversation where he is flirting and (presumably) trying to lead the convo in a direction whereby he can get LAID.

I'm not saying that he probably didn't ever hide the truth from you during your marriage -- God knows there's a lot of evidence in your threads to show that he did -- but I wouldn't put too much stock into a horny man's sexting.

Signed,

Horny Man

Lol @ Starsky. But I completely agree with ^^^.

twin, this is that part where they say, "Believe none of what you hear."

Your H is being a douchebag. And, clearly, if he's trying to get laid by a person he's never even met, he hasn't been working on cleaning up his side of the street. OW is just another LBS, waiting to happen.

I'm sorry.

I know he hasn't realized his side of the problem in all of this. But if he was going to lie why say I am a bad mom? There are a million other lies he could have told but he picks that. That is why I think he really believes that.

Any opinions on somehow making sure OW knows about this? I do NOT need any additional crap from H but honestly I am so hurt by what he said I would really like OW to know what he is up to and kick him out on his azz.........

I am trying to be a calm wonderful mother and be the best person I can be. It hurts so much to hear that he thinks I got pregnant on purpose. I am scared he will hold that against this baby and won't treat her the same as the twins.