So I pick up D at daycare and H hasn't packed her soccer uniform and has bought her a new backpack. The one I bought is still at his place. Why can't he just pack what she needs? Does he get a charge out of making me go to the house to pick up stuff he didn't pack? I would have made him drop it off but he's up at OW's place.
What a clown.
WH
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
no, he's not a clown...he knows that if he doesn't do something for the kids, you'll pick up the slack. He knows exactly what he's doing.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Document the incident. You never know when you may have to pull that rabbit out of the hat as evidence.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I went through the kids' school stuff. H has not went through the stuff in 3 days. There were forms and papers galore. Every day we are supposed to sign the kids paperwork to show we are reviewing their homework. H hadn't signed it in three days. Apparently he has more important things on his mind. D told me there is a broken pipe in the kids bathroom at the house. That ought to put H in a good mood.
Hope he's enjoying the carefree life.
WH
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
Well mediation was today. All day. Started at nine am and ended at three in the afternoon. I am exhausted.
I think we have reached a settlement. It wasn't easy. At one point H was threatening to walk out. But the mediator was well trained and well seasoned. But I don't think he was anticipating anything like H. He sure earned his money today.
We started the first hour with the mediator reviewing our case and going over some factual information. H started in on his rampage about what I have done wrong and what I did and didn't do. Blah blah blah. The mediator stopped H and told him to knock it off because we were not going to accomplish anything if he was going to continue with that behavior.
The mediator had his hands full keeping H in check. The mediator was fair and honest and worked closely with the judge in our case so he knew which way the judge would tend to lean. After our introduction he asked H to leave so he could talk to us. We noticed H left his computer on while he was out. The mediator noticed it and motioned for us to be quiet. He then asked us to adjourn to the conference room. My attorney told the mediator H has a history of recording meetings. Aha! So that is why H left the computer in that room even though he said he was going off to look for wifi. He doesn't need wifi for his phone. His phone has a data plan paid for by his company.
Long story short H tried to slip some lies in which he was caught in. He told the mediator I should pay the entire marital credit card because I am the party who ran up the bill. H claimed when he filed for divorce the credit card balance was only $5000. I said that was false and I could prove it. My attorney had a statement from one month after filing and the balance was $11,500. H finally agreed to take on a portion of the marital cc after the mediator told H the judge would more than likely make us split the debt incurred as of the time of filing and have me pay anything over and above, which now is nothing.
We came to our agreement after 6 hours and one threat by H to walk out on the negotiations. Then We sat in the same room to hammer out the wording. H did NOT want to be held liable for the house debt if he couldn't refinance the house. The mediator told H if he took the house and couldn't refi then the house would be put up for sale and H would be responsible for the shortfall. I thought H's head was going to explode. H said he would not agree to that and he would just let the house go into foreclosure before he would agree to that. Sigh.
H also balked at splitting medical expenses 50/50. He wanted veto power as to what was "proper" and "normal" procedure and told the mediator, my attorney and me that orthodontics are not "standard" and he didn't want that in the agreement. H argued and argued even though I made the statement that S has braces and has been wearing them for years and is almost done wearing braces and the orthodontist has already told me D will need them as well. H still argued. Pretty soon all three were arguing and I couldn't stand it anymore. I looked at H and I said "so you are telling me if D needs braces you will not approve?" he said "no, that's not what I am saying WH". I said D is going to need them and you won't let her get them because it's going to cost money?". He then made some stupid comment about how my mom will help me with my share of the bill and then he will be stuck with the rest. I said the dentist office is very flexible with payments, H. They won't make you pay it all right away (he knows this because he is paying on S's now). The mediator gave H a huge what for and said told H the needs of the kids need to come first especially since S already had braces why would he deny D? H said he wouldn't and to put he language in.
H looked horrible. He now has sideburns and a combover. You have seen men with combovers to the side? H has one from front to back. Horrible. I want to ask him if he's looked in a mirror lately?
Oh H is also ticked because he cannot claim head of household because I have the kids more time. I told the mediator he could claim both kids every other year as an offset. The mediator explained to H that I didn't have to do that and the judge would not force me to do that so to tread lightly
I got maintenance for 5 years which is a huge stick in H's craw and he claims if he can't refinance the house then he will rescind his offer of maintenance. The mediator told H he couldnt do that.
So if we can sign this on the line we can be final in two weeks. I am cautiously optimistic. But ive been down this road before. Still watching my step.
Oh and the kicker? H called me by OW's name during one of his rants. Nice. Even the mediator thought so.
WH
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
WH, I'm glad this is behind you and I know it had to be exhausting after being in negotiations for 6 hours or so. Well, your h didn't get away w/everything he had hoped for and I'm glad our mediator and lawyer were smart enough to go to another room. I'm surprised someone didn't turn off the laptop. Now, that would have been something, but it shows at how low he would stoop to get info on what is being discussed. I don't trust him one bit.
I do hope that everything can be signed off on w/o a hitch and you can then breathe a sign of relief and enjoy your summer.
Hugs to you and may the next few weeks fly by and the papers signed, sealed and delivered!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
to find time to scribble on the corner of the home work, that's why you have a wife! To do these time consuming chores!