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Thanks, job. I just don’t understand why he changed his mind. First he was going to come in when I’m not home. Yesterday he arranged for the time before I live for work. It almost feels like I’ve been manipulated.

Maybe his plans changed yesterday and he couldn't make it. Maybe he actually wants to see you w/o no hidden agenda. No one knows what goes through their minds, not even themselves. The best thing to do is try not to worry about it. The delivery man is coming to pick up his package...you can always be in another room when he picks the drums up or you can leave for work a bit early and leave him to do whatever he needs to do to get them loaded up and on his way.

I wonder if you feel manipulated Bright because this has turned into such an ordeal?

I've done the same thing. I get my brain and emotions settled for the visit that I'm dreading and, then, Smokey changes the plans again and I have to work through it all again.

Get worked up, start the process of preparation, grieve, feel the spectrum of emotions, settle...AND, do it all over again. 1,2,3...AND 1,2,3...

Maybe work on how to protect yourself from reacting like you do?? I know it's hard. Or, set some boundaries. Tell him that he needs to make a list of everything he wants from the house so the picking up issue isn't an issue anymore.

Heather, you are so right. This is exactly it, an ordeal and all the feelings associated with it.

I don’t k now why I’m still reacting like this. I think it is because I still haven’t made up my mind about him. Going for a walk with the dog. I will try to think about him as a delivery man.

So, H came this morning. I had the door open and the screen door locked. I was in the bedroom getting ready. He announced himself and I came out of the bedroom to let him in. He heard me, but was already opening the door with his key.

I was dressed up in the dress and high hills, I think I looked great, with my hear done nicely. I've noticed he was looking at me with some interest. He asked me if I liked my new job and if I am doing what I was doing before as a consultant, meaning working in the same field. He wished me luck.

Then he looked around and noticed recent pictures of my nephews and was surprised how much they grew up. I told him a bit of info about them. I guess if I would have stayed I he house longer, he would have asked more questions about everyone.

I noticed that he brought his laptop and some papers. He said that he needs to write a check, I think business check. He asked me if I have a new company file, and if I am going to send it to him. No talk about taking over of the things I used to do for business, like reconciling his expenses and writing checks, paying taxes, etc. I guess he expects me still do it. Will see.

And then, the most interesting part... He said that he needs to work on his camper to fix something, so he will stay for a while and use the tools in the garage. WTF? He has tools at the vacations home. Why he could not fix his camper over there? He had all the time.

So, I left for work, and H is I the house. Then good thing is that I didn't get rid of the "evidence", LOL.

I guess I could have engaged him in more conversation. I will probably not see him and not talk to him until next time he is in town, which is probably going to be in November or December.

High heals, not high hills, LOL.

You did great. Keep DBing. At least you're not divorced and can keep trying.

Oh boy, so many typos in my previous post. It was the first time when I used an iPod. I guess I need to pay attention to how it converts some words.

I will do an update about yesterday when I get home tonight.

Owl777, thanks for stopping by. I don’t know how much longer I want to try.

I just realized that I’ve been so emotionally and physically exhausted in the past couple of weeks. New job, new schedule, my GF’s visit, then my (mutual) friend’s visit, then the orders with H’s drums pick up. I hope I can relax this weekend, get some sleep and do what I want to do.

I came home yesterday and the d@nm drums were gone. It looks like he didn’t tale anything else, including his things like sports memorabilia, some souvenirs from his travel, etc. There is also no evidence of him picking into my stuff, everything was the way I left it. I’m not sure if he took anything from the garage. There is so much junk in there, so it is hard to tell if something is missing. I’m sure he would have told me, if he took something from the garage.

He left his golf pass for the vacation home on the table with the note to me to take it down to the vacation home when I go there. Ha, he just cannot do without asking me for another favor. The note actually didn’t sound like he was asking for a favor, rather it sounded like he was telling his wife to do something for him.

It looks like H drove strait to the state where his older brother lives and barely stopped at the state where he grew up and where his HS friends and his sister are. His older brother’s son is graduating from college this weekend. I’ve got an invitation from him addressed to me and my son. WTH? There is no way I would even consider attending. I sent a card.

I am at a better place today. I would like to say that I’m at peace, but I know that there are still some feelings of sadness deep down. I feel a lot better though. I’m planning what I want to move to that space where the drums were. And the good thing I don’t have to dust them anymore.

I know that after that H was calling/texting her to join him at the local bar here in the city, while I was traveling for work. He told me that he wanted to introduce her to his brother. So, it was another trigger for me about him spending time with single women while I’m away. I also thought that this woman started to behave a little different towards me when I saw her in the neighborhood. I might have been just my imagination.

So, I saw her today and she immediately told me that she saw H the other day when he was living from the house. She told me that he looked happy. Now, why would she point it out to me? I’m not his mother, and she knows that he left me, not the other way around. Am I too sensitive? I don’t care about her, but I just thought it was a bit insensitive on her part to tell me this. Some people are just cruel.

I told to her that I was happy that he was happy. Later I thought about a different reply I would have given her. I should have said that H is a good actor, LOL. After all he fooled me and our friends “pretending” to love me while he was unhappy and thinking to leave.

I’m a nice person, but sometimes I want to punch some people in the face. I’ve been nice to this woman. I still will be. I just let it go.