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Just as quickly as she changed her mind, she could change it again.

You didn't break it and you can't fix it.

I know how hard the first few nights are. I used melatonin to help me sleep, you might want to pick some up.

I'm trying to reiterate as one who had a WAW, stick to the 37 rules. I didn't early on and it hurt me. You have to make yourself go do things and get your own life.

If she's a dry drunk she's got her own issues that may have nothing to do with you. Give her the time and space she is asking for.

Thanks Kdog. I really appreciate you taking the time to post on my sitch.

As I start to gain some momentum, I will definitely pay it forward.

So I guess now is a good a time as ever to start listing some goals for myself.

1. Continue to go to the gym 4x a week.
2. Join a meetup group to establish new friendships.
3. Renew my interest in tennis, possibly sign up for lessons to brush up on my skills.
4. Continue to put money away for a down payment on a house (this one hurts as my WAW started doing this together).
5. Spend as much time as I can with my daughter. During the summer, I will have her Mon-Fri.
6. Dive head first into therapy. I want to work on codependency/control and self esteem issues.

More to come!

Thornton,

Please forgive me for being a big poop-head downer here - I don't mean to be - but have you ruled out an affair and/or an OM? I'm not suggesting that's what's happening. But anytime I hear of a sudden change in a person's demeanor, that's where my mind goes. I've gone through it TWICE with my H.

Hang in there! We're all here for you!

BTW, these sound GREAT!

1. Continue to go to the gym 4x a week.
2. Join a meetup group to establish new friendships.
3. Renew my interest in tennis, possibly sign up for lessons to brush up on my skills.
4. Continue to put money away for a down payment on a house (this one hurts as my WAW started doing this together).
5. Spend as much time as I can with my daughter. During the summer, I will have her Mon-Fri.
6. Dive head first into therapy. I want to work on codependency/control and self esteem issues.

Hi Train,

She literally never had time for an A, at least a physical one. Because of her struggles maintaining her sobriety, I think she has literally began to give up on life. We spent all our free time together, she told me sobriety has been physically painful for her.

She told me she "doesn't love anything anymore". I researched and this is very common amongst sober alcoholics that aren't working a program. She seems so depressed and like she has surrendered to her disease.

I just don't think she is having an affair, I really don't. I could be wrong and totally naïve.

I am glad you are thinking about it at least, Thornton.

I *will* say - and this may have NO bearing on your relationship at all - that my H was working two jobs, from 7 a.m. until 4-5 p.m. and then from 6 p.m.-midnight five nights a week ... and then all day Saturday. And he STILL made time for an A.

I have ZERO experience with addictions, except in the sense that affairs are addictions. You're clearly doing a lot of research on what's specific to your W and your relationship - good for you!

I do not want to add more to your plate, or more for you to ponder. The last thing I'd want to do is create unnecessary anguish for you. The only reason I'm asking about a potential A is because to me - and several others who have taken care of me here - an A is a game-changer in approaches to busting a divorce.

If there's no A, then you keep on keepin' on with your GAL and 180s. That's the best thing you can do *regardless*! If you eventually find out there *is* an OM, keep posting here in Newcomers or head over to Infidelity. Wisdom is prevalent here, and loads of people are here to offer support and advice. You're in great hands, and I'll keep checking in here. Hang in there!

And when I say "busting a divorce," I'm also including people who aren't married. Busting a divorce ... or busing a break-up ... same thing.

Good Morning,

I am really struggling today. Waking up to a half empty closet brought the realness of this situation to the forefront.

I'm struggling with constant reminders of her. On my drive to work I pass by the road that goes to her work. It makes me wonder if she is thinking like I am. Does she miss me? Does everything remind her of me?

I know I need to snap out of thinking like that, and I'm trying. But it feels almost impossible.

I was brushing my teeth this morning and noticed one of he hairs in the sink from when she would brush her hair there. Killed me.

I feel like my mind is spiraling out of control with these thoughts. Hardly DB behavior. I feel like a piece of trash she discarded and walked then walked away.

Can any vets chime in to point me in a direction?

Having a hard time struggling with the panic I'm experience. I've made an appointment with a counselor and a psychiatrist, I think I may need anti-depressants.

I feel a little embarrassed that I'm not handling this better than I am.