And two de novo hearings and two wasted meetings trying to come to a settlement with H not agreeing to anything.
He is paying no attorney so he cares not. He is using this to get me to settle for less. So I guess it is my fault that I haven't given in to what he wants.
WH
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
I'm sorry you're going through this WH - just sending some support your way.
Me - 42 exH - 56 Married 10.5 years Together 17 bomb dropped 1/6/14 signed papers 2/4/14 H moved out 2/22/14 D final 4/4/14 Dropped the rope 5/17/14 2 cats, 2 dogs
I am just not feeling it today. I have loved having my kids all week (H is out of town on business) but he's back today. I have been scurrying left and right all week long. I forgot how much running around I used to do before H decided to be super dad. I have not had a moment to myself in 8 days which I don't mind, but it makes me realize why I was so tired and so aggravated with H pre-BD. He was never around to pull his weight.
D made a comment about how OW taught daddy how to make meatloaf. I don't know why, but it set me off. I didn't say anything to her about it but it did sting. I don't know why? And it makes me angry that it stung. I so want to move on and be done. But it feels like I will never be done.
I have so much stuff to catch up on so the next four days should fly by.
WH
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
Refuse to meet with him any more. Ask your atty to file a motion to dismiss for all this crap, and present to the judge a list of all the frivolous motions he has brought forth. Vexatious litigation is what this is called. Your atty can try to put a stop to this by asking the court to impose sanctions on him preventing him from filing this BS.
To save money, YOU can compile the list and hand it to your attorney before the next court date. At this next hearing, he can present it to the judge and ask for sanctions. Then your attorney can ask for a final trial date and again - ask for sanctions to prevent filings in between now and then. If your ex wants to bargain after that - too terribly bad. He wasted his chances.
If you all can get the judge to sanction his butt, then if he files again he is in contempt and will have to face the wrath of a judge who now KNOWS he is wasting his time.
I am not a lawyer.
Me- 29 H - 36 T - 5y M - 2y D - 11 months BD#1 June 2013 BD#2 H files 10/28/13 Retrouvaille Nov 13 BD #3 H Files 2nd time 4/22/14 Fires L 7 days later. No court dates set Supposedly he's moving out?
Had a nice weekend, even though it wasn't my time with the kids. I gave H last night and tonight with the kids since he was out of town all last week. I want to do the right thing even if it isn't necessarily what I feel like doing. The kids miss their dad and fortunately he spent most of the weekend sans OW so they got some real time with their dad.
D had a soccer game on Saturday and had her recital that night. She did so wonderfully. H dropped her off with me early and I did her hair and makeup for the recital. She didn't even look at her teacher for off-stage direction. She was animated and knew all the steps and fully engaged the audience. Such a lil pro. H and I even got along for the performance and the reception afterward. We sat at a table with S's girlfriend and her family so it was less awkward.
S had a soccer game yesterday near the WI-IL border. Quite a haul, but his team won so it was worth the drive to see that. I got to see S at church yesterday since H let him go to the first service. D didn't get to go, because apparently she was giving H an attitude. H told S the reason he doesn't like to go to the first service isn't to avoid me, but because D is grumpy in the morning and doesn't like to deal with her.
It is so hard when the kids aren't with me because I don't have anything distracting me from what is going on inside. I do have good days and the bad days are farther between, but today is a not so good day. My money situation is okay, but I am having an anxiety attack. I have meds for that, but sometimes I think they aren't strong enough. I stopped going to my counselor until I get some bills paid down and it started feeling like our discussions were becoming rather repetitive. I still struggle with feeling inferior because I am on my own. I know it isn't true, but that feeling sneaks in occasionally. I don't need the 2x4s, but I need to work through it and not just pretend it isn't there.
And...at the risk of becoming a broken record, I am so ready to move on. The end of the week is the contempt hearing. Next week we meet with the financial mediator. NOT looking forward to either one. But I can't bury my head in the sand. I just wish it was over and I am starting to think it will never be over.
Funny how at the beginning of this journey I was begging God to stop this divorce and now I can't wait for it to be done!
WH
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
Funny how at the beginning of this journey I was begging God to stop this divorce and now I can't wait for it to be done!
Yeah - I never understood how people could have a party to celebrate finalizing the divorce, but after 2 years of the process, I definitely WANTED to celebrate when it was done!
What else can you do for free to help you with your anxiety? Learn to meditate (there must be free resources online)? Attend some Alanon meetings? (Even though your ex isn't an alcoholic, you might find some of the principles helpful. A friend gave me the Alanon book The Courage to Change, and even though my ex doesn't have any addiction issues, I found it quite helpful).
I do need to exercise. I've been working in the yard and that helps a lot!!! But it isn't enough.
I would love to walk. Maybe I'll do that tonight. Perhaps I'll walk to the park where S is having soccer practice. I don't want to look like a stalker though.
Ive toyed with the notion of running but I hate to run. And I have bad ankles and my knees crack! Lol! Maybe walking is more my speed.
Maybe lift some weights. I like weight training but I hate being cooped up in the gym. I don't mean to sound like a whiner though.
My mom suffers with anxiety too. Like I said the meds help but I hate being dependent on meds. That is one reason my mom doesn't take them.
WH
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
Well got home can't walk. Thunderstorms...again! So I took a hot shower and I'm cooking up some chicken and rice and I'll give myself a pedicure.
So I got a call from my attorney. H wants to postpone things. AGAIN!!! He said he doesn't want to do financial mediation until AFTER he has his day in court with his contempt motion. Ugh!! My attorney says no dice. I told my attorney to try and get this deal done once and for all!! This is just ridiculous! He said the contempt hearing will not come to anything because there is no order I violated. It's just a bargaining tool.
Why why why is he dragging this crap out??? I don't know if the mediator will see through this garbage or not!
My stbx is a real bojagalup!!
WH
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
I used to say I didnt want to be dependent on meds but now that I am on the right AD I think that reasoning is not very smart.
This program and Alanon have taught me I need to take care of myself first. Like if the plane is going down you put the oxgyen mask on yourself first then your kid.
If meds work why not use them, they can make everything else so much easier.
It does not have to be permeant
---- M 39 H 35 D5,D4 M 4 T 9 ILYBNILWY 5/18/11 Left 7/11/11 Divorced 12/1/13
