Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers Need help saving my family - part 10

Scorp,

You know this...how?

I know this by speaking to three lawyers who all had the same opinion.

If I filed an order and my W went along with it then great. I suppose that's possible. Based on how things have gone, would you say that's likely? Or do you think it's likely she would have filed an order herself?

What else is it you all think I should be doing that I'm not doing right now?

Please bear in mind that the laws in Canada are not the same as the US when it comes to family law.

Human rights laws are universal in every place of the world....
Besides that, not taking your inventory Scorp but one thing that comes to my mind everytime I read you, you keep not trying to piss off your W based in " she is not fine"
Here is what you cant read, she did took actions to separate from you and besides that, actions tk separate you from your kids....

In my opinion, if my W comes tomorrow with 3 guys to beat the [censored] out of me and leave me paralized for not assisting to her play or support her financially while we were together....there is a big chance those three guys will leave my house in pretty bad shape, its not violence its just pure self defense....my W will be sued and well then court will take care of the case...despite if we R or not, the relationship with her has nothing to do with that...

You basically cant see this, you cant separate the ACTIONS SHE TOOK TOWARDS YOUR UNIVERSAL RIGHT OF PARENTING" and for me it seems that you are justifying talking to a L so at the end you can say, welm I did everything "legally" possible.... We all know law and we know how numerous times its not fair, and sorry but as others I dont believe that in Canada the law says:
-mothers can kidnapp the kids and fathers will only recover kids if a judge fails to give them custody... No matter who of you take the kids I believe from both sides its kidnnapping, now what you can do its sue her and go bring those kids back, once she is being sued you have the right to bring them back, no judge will deny this since a kidnnapping its an ilegal action and at this point we dont know the intentions of your W.

Anyway, you can seat and keep seeing things how you see them, basically you waited 5 months to see if she "will wake up" ok, she didnt...you gave her enough time, now its time for you to do things in a different way, one of them its to sue her, arrive to the town, bring cops with you to the house and bring those kids back, no negotiation with her needs to be done...
I mean that its an option if you really want your kids back, this case its basically winned by you but I dont underestand why you dont want to see it??
If you dont move because you thing its good for the R, I have to tell you that in this case it might not help...
Basically now if you acuse her of kidnapping, youll get full custody...
If you dont do nothing, its hard for you to get custody because she can even accuse you of abandonment towards those kids....

Its time for you to be honest Scorp, people its giving you advice and you keep justifying not following it and my question is....are you telling all the true?
I cant really chew that they arrested you for no reason, its just makes no sense, specially if in your town you say that women do that all the time....a judge and other authorities should be looking at that and see how so many unjustified arrests just make no sense... I will underestand if it was only your case but you said it happened many times before....Scorp, authorities might be dumb once, twice or 3 times but once they see a pattern man...

Oh and just so you know I am not judging you, at the end its your life and you can do what you want, but ask for advice and not following it at all its like at least disrespectfull to yourself.

Also at this point if I was you I will choose another lawyer, it lloks like your lawyer its selling smoke:

http://justice.alberta.ca/programs_servi..._abduction.aspx

Stop basing YOUR actions on HER!!!!!

What advice am I not taking???????? I am filing for D and likely getting a interim custody order asap. What else is it you all think I can do?

I've been very close to calling it a day with this site for some time now. Being told I don't know my own situation by people that only know a very tiny amount of what's going on (you only know what I've posted here, I get that) is kinda crazy.

If I had more time I would write a book about my entire relationship with my wife, our kids and everything that's happened over the last 6 months, unfortunately I don't have that time. I know you all have been through the ringer with your own situations and have helped others with theirs, EVERY SITUATION IS DIFFERENT. My heart goes out to all of you for the hell you've been through and I appreciate you trying to help me with my own hell.

I will say this one more time....

The police will do NOTHING unless I have a court order. Taking my kids to another province is NOT KIDNAPPING. The police can only enforce a court order, nothing else! IF my wife took our kids out of the COUNTRY, then it would be kidnapping. SHE HAS NOT DONE THAT. The police will do nothing about my W's : listening to phone calls, denying me access to my kids, dictating the terms of my time with the kids etc etc etc without a court order.

My wife planned her exit with the help of a lawyer for close to a YEAR before she left. Do you really think she would have done what she did if she thought all I had to do was pick up the phone and force the kids to come home????????

One more time... my wife made the CHARGE AGAINST ME SO SHE COULD LEAVE LIKE SHE DID. Have none of you heard of someone making a claim against someone else that wasn't true?!?!?!? She said I threatened her during an argument SIX MONTHS before she made the charge. It's sad but true that's all it takes to have a husband arrested, someone that has no prior record and a marriage that had ZERO history of any kind of incidents. I agreed to a peace bond with my wife because I could not risk a judge deciding to believe my wife's story and find me guilty. There was only a very small chance of that happening, if it had happened my life would have been over. No career, no kids, done. Worth fighting the charge to take that chance?

Did I make mistakes in my situation? ABSOLUTELY! I didn't find the DB/DR books until after Christmas and I made every bad mistake talked about in the books before then. I still have made a few errors here and there. The past is the past. I've learned from it and I continue to learn.

I'm doing what I can in the best interests of my kids and myself. Dragging my kids home, pulling them out of their current schools etc would put them through more hell and make me look like an irresponsible parent. I've been advised by three lawyers to now take this action, otherwise I very well may have done it. I do not want to D my W. I feel my kids deserve and need both parents. No matter what I feel about D filing became necessary to ensure I don't further risk my time with my kids.

I do appreciate the input you have all given. I think I've heeded the advice you all have given me. I may not have filed for D or have taken the action I have with my L had I not taken your advice. Having said that, hearing about how foolish I've been for not doing this or that does not help. This site has been a useful tool in my situation, the second it becomes more pain than it's worth is the second I call it a day here.

Ye, I've read the same thing. Now you'll understand why my wife made the accusations against me:

DEFENCES UNDER SECTIONS 282(1) AND 283(1):

1.It is not a defence to any charge under ss. 280-283 that the young person consented to or suggested any conduct of the accused (s. 286).

2.It is a defence if the alleged abductor establishes that the taking, etc., of the child was done with the consent of the parent, guardian or other person having the lawful possession, care or charge of the child.

3.It is a defence:
1.if the child was taken, etc., to protect the child from danger of imminent harm, or

2.if the alleged abductor was fleeing from imminent harm and taking the child as well. For example, protecting a child from child abuse would provide a defence; as would an escape from a situation of spousal assault and the removal of the child at the same time (see s. 285).

Incidentally, that same law could be used against me if I were to take the kids home without an order to do so.

2.if the alleged abductor was fleeing from imminent harm and taking the child as well. For example, protecting a child from child abuse would provide a defence; as would an escape from a situation of spousal assault and the removal of the child at the same time (see s. 285).


Have you abussed your W or children? If not, this law doesnt apply to you..

Ye.............NO I HAVE NOT ABUSED MY WIFE OR MY KIDS. Making the CHARGE was enough. All she has to say was she felt threatened. The police and the prosecutor are not going to go after someone who says they were scared and will treat anyone like a criminal who has been accused to cover their own backsides.