Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers Need help saving my family - part 10

Thanks Maritimer. My options are to either have my kids brought back to my province or to move to the province where my W has taken them.

I'm lucky in that my job will allow me to work from home in the event I need to move to the other province.

In either scenario my W and I would have equal time with my kids.

Eric, I appreciate your thoughts. I think I'm doing everything I can possibly legally do at this point. My kids have no doubts about how I feel for them and that I am doing everything I can for them.

Yeah...after FIVE months which is now rapidly slipping into its 6th month.

How would you have equal time if the kids come back to your province?

Are you going to make your W move back too?

Are thevkids going to do one week there and one with you?

How would their school look? Their activities? There friendships?

Wonka, is there something else you think I should be doing???

How would you have equal time if the kids come back to your province?

My W would have to move back to my province as well for her to have equal time. If she didn't want to (I'm sure she would) then I would have full custody.

b]Are you going to make your W move back too?
[/b]

I can't make my W move. The court can decide that the kids are best served by living in my province. In that event, I would have either full or half custody. My W would then need to move back on her own accord to have half custody.

Are thevkids going to do one week there and one with you?


For 50/50 to work, my W and I have to live in the same area. The kids need to be in the same schools, maintain the same friendships, same after school activities etc.

Scorp,

Wonka, is there something else you think I should be doing???

How badly do you want ACCESS/TIME with your kids? That is the crux of whole matter...really. Frankly, if my mom had done this (read, kidnapping) when I was 2, you bet my Dad would have showed up on her doorstep and bringing me back. If that failed, he'd be the on the phone with the police reporting the kidnapping within 24/48 hours.

If I were in your shoes, I'd turn every thing upside down in the L's office...everything in my path...to get more time with the kids. I'd be on the phone with the L every day asking when it'll happen...have the papers been sent out today... what next after that...etc?

That's just me.

You say you still love her and want to reconcile – yet your actions are to file for divorce.

I gave my W six months to try to work things out. I do not want to file for D, I do want to R. To ensure my kids have their father I needed to file for D, that is the only reason I am doing it. There is always a possibility my W and I could R even after a D is final. Worrying about a R can't dictate my actions with my kids.

You say you want the kids, yet when you L offers the option to file “interim custody orders right away” – you elect to file for D.

I needed to file for D first. The interim custody orders would get the court involved in deciding the parenting plan for my kids. I still likely will be doing that. My L advised that it was best to wait a week or two for my W's response to the D papers first.

I totally understand that your L felt it was best to file for the D first. I get that. That is how YOUR L felt. Notice your L led you in a direction that worked for HER – NOT YOU per se.

The L is advising me what will be best to get ME what I want, not her. I asked my L her opinion of what would be best to ensure I have no less than half time with my kids and she advised based on that. My L is VERY CLEAR on what my goals are.

Oh and Dad got full physical custody of me in mid-1960s. Talk about trailblazing as a man asking for me in the Court! Actually, my mother was very cooperative and agreed to this arrangement. My mother was fine...no issues. I was my father's only child and he wasn't about to let me slip through his fingers. That is how much he LOVED and CHERISHED me. His actions backed this up.

Wonka, I appreciate your input, I do, but to insinuate I'm not doing everything I can to have my kids with me is BS and fairly insulting.

That's great what your Dad did. From what you've told me, if he did what you have told me in my province under today's laws he would have been in jail. Where would that have led to with child custody? The fact you mother was "fine" makes ALL THE DIFFERENCE IN THE WORLD! My W has not been "fine" so I am doing what needs to be done.

Serving my W with D papers today or the end of next week will have NO BARRING on my kids in the long run. Filing for interim custody is a likelihood within the next week or two. If my L advises that's the best way to go to achieve my goal then I will defer to her.

It's very easy to sit back and with all the info you have now look at things that happened before and say you messed up here, and there etc etc etc.

...it's NOT just you Wonka...