Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers CSan00 - My story

Yesterday my H brought up the D thinking I was ignoring his text because he thought I was upset about the D. He still appears to be set on the divorce. Not sure what to do?

It hit me again today, the sadness and missing how it used to be with my H at home. Everything is moving forward to a divorce even though my interactions with H are like we are dating. I feel very confused as to how I feel about the situation. I don't know if I have much hope left and the anger at my H leaving was really strong today also. I started thinking how unfair the situation is but I need to let it go.

I don't know if he is a WAS or in MLC especially with his PTSD....He still doesn't have connection to me like before but he did say he is gaining something positive by seeing and being with me but still wants the divorce. I know that it is my expectations that are leading me to feel hurt by this. I really am trying hard to detach completely....work in progress I suppose

I need some help here with my situation....I know that I am focusing too much on my H'S reactions at the moment. That happens when I spend more time and stop the loving distance

Having a really hard time not missing my H..
I have had little contact with him today and it's really bothering me but I do know that I have to detach and I have not texted him other than about money today. I just miss him so much

I miss not having someone to share my life and moments...it's strange that it hits out of nowhere just like the anxiety of him no longer being there. I do okay for a few days then bam! I know that I will be okay with or without my H but obviously I would prefer with him. I know he is not ready to come back to OR and maybe he won't ever but I need to just focus on the present. Easier said than done.

Boy does this sound familiar. This might be TMI but I have noticed that my emotions about BF go up and down around "that time of the month," which makes sense when you think about it. It's like it's very own cycle.. emotional and heartbroken for 2 weeks, then angry and freaking out for 1 week, then calm and "carefree" for 1 week, then stop and start again!

Completely had major set back with my H today and I did more of the same behavior of mind reading going to extremes and assuming the worst scenario of why he was not answering me text and now he said he was going to ask me to go for a ride but I ruined that and to not contact him until tomorrow. Which I will not because I am so hurt and not thinking straight so any progress I did make is undone....I am my worst enemy

Can you share with us some of your M history? It would help if we had that to give you the advice and support you need.

This is both of our 2nd marriages. We fell in love fast and moved in together after 7 months then got engaged a year later and married in August 2011. We had issues with the way I disciplined my kids who lived with us and honestly, I was too soft on the kids and didn't follow through nor did I back up my H with the kids. Then with his kids who came for the summer, I resented how lax he was on them and compared it to my kids which was a huge mistake. My H also was sad and disappointed in how I didn't make an effort to bond with his kids which he is right. He asked repeatedly for marriage counseling which I said we didn't need. This combined with the stress of my teenager daughter running away and my youngest son having issues, I went into denial big time. I stopped going out with my H, making time for us as a couple and I also ignored my depression returning and I became a sad, negative, pessimistic and angry person. On top of that my H had back surgery which went well however the pain meds he was on made him belligerent and mean. This caused me too feel disconnected a bit from my H. That's when started MC in Spring of 2013 but it was a little too late by then as I look back. My sisters are also an issue as they were close to my H in the beginning but then they stopped talking to him and shut him out. He felt betrayed and I didn't address it and shrugged it off. Again I heard him but didn't really listen, another one of my H's complaints. My H has PTSD and by the fall of 2013 we were both in bad places. In February of 2014 my H dropped the BD which he moved out and we have been separated since then. My H still wants the D. I see now all the warning signs and have gotten a better handle on my depression by getting the help I needed. I am still working on making lasting changes but an having a hard time....When he dropped the BD I felt that the fog/depression lifted and I saw all I had ignored and failed to do