Bea, This is the safest place to come vent, rejoice or whatever floats your boat. Yes, we do get it and do understand what you went through and continue to go through. People learn from each other more so on this forum because we do get it.
We are here to support you any way that we can. We may not have all of the answers but at least we can toss out ideas to help one another along the way.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I too am sorry that your xh is creating so much pain for you and yes WE here do understand the bazaar behavior all too well
The crises has definitely grown me up and although I sometimes wished I had picked a "different" H to marry, I believe I had to go through this probably just as much as XH had to Hang in there..remember it is not your fault .and truth will always win in the end you have come through a lot and you will get through this phase of it too
Peace
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
Bea, I am so very sorry. I'm not as far along on my journey, but I have experienced very similar, soul destroying behavior. Even after all I've read I will never understand why the MLCer/WAS chooses to be so hateful to those of us that loved them for such a long time. I was distraught, then angry and now just very, very sad about all of the destruction. I hope this latest round ends soon for you. From your posts it clear that you have worked very hard to regain your footing and make a new life for yourself. I am so sorry that your xh keeps interfering.
My friend, I am so sorry. I think that no matter how much we get that they are in a crisis, it is still hard to wrap our heads around some of the stuff they do.
He is Still so broken, Bea. Desperate to find out why he is still unhappy. Must be because Bea has screwed him financially because it certainly cant be within him.
My xh still does whatever he can to screw me financially all the while wanting to be friends.
Boggles the mind, I know. Your side of the street is clean, Bea. That matters. How you act, with dignity and grace, matters, too. I dont mean to him. I mean to you.
Thanks for the responses and support, I really appreciate all the posts as I wobble back to being OK again.
You know Ur - I really do not care any more how he perceives me. I did. I desperately wanted, even needed to be seen by him as a 'good person' Now, frankly his opinion is worth jacksh*t to me, to put is crudely. And I mean it, not bravado.
My xh wanted to be 'friends' back this last summer. I can be civil, but he isn't my friend because I do not want someone like that as a friend.
I do not get the financial screwing over - my xh is in a relationship with a woman with a good job, he got a good financial settlement, and still works part time . . . go figure. Is it their way of asserting their importance in the world/our lives? Who knows, and who cares. It would be nice if it stopped, but I suspect it isn't going to this side of the grave. Although I should be very very peeved to arrive at the pearly gates and find a big bill waiting for me from xh!
I really do admire you. You have handled all of this so very well.
I often think it would be very nice to send these MLC men and women to their own island and see who survives. No contact with the rest of the world. Like they used to do to criminals. See how they like dealing with versions of themselves.
Then maybe our definition of "normal" would be so skewed.
Don't worry Bea, at the pearly gates the bill will go to these MLCers who destroy - or are careless as to whether they destroy - their families and partners. One eternity in the hot cauldron! I don't get the hate either GM, not that I understand any of it, but the hate towards people that they "love", I don't get it.
