Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers Divorce on the table, Hoping for Miracle 2

Sorry to hear this Groov!!

Text Conversation with X:

After talking about the kids and clothes during a future swap...

X:Ok

Me: Thank you! How was work?

X: Fine, thank you. Does your mom know where the gym is?

Me:Yeah she knows. Do you do other things than phlebodomy?

X: Why the sudden interest in my work day?

Me:Just wondering about you, no biggie.

X: Groov, in my 13 years of experience with you, you foster relationships for two reasons. Personal gain, or ego boost. I will not give you either. Not trying to be rude, but don't waste your time.

no response from me....

So fellow DBers... to soon to ask her about work? sheesh... This has bothered me all weekend... I have spent a lot of time thinking about the relationships I have fostered... gain and ego boost.... I am not even sure what that means. To gain a friend? To gain a relationship? ego boost???

Groov

Well, My DB friends, Divorce has been finalized. Not sure if to keep hope or move on... Could I have done more... Have I done all I could... I followed and am following the DB principles...

I hope that XW comes to rest with in herself. Feeling sad.

It's been a while. But wanted to give a follow up on my situation. I have learned an incredible amount through this experience. Like MWD has stated.. I have become the kind of husband a fool would leave. This has been hard won. I come from a place of gratitude. I want to thank all of you here! Keep sharing! Keep caring!

Groov,

It's great to hear your doing well!

Can you expand more on your update?

Lets see if I can. Since Nov 2014 Divorce Date. I have discovered things about women and femininity that were hidden to me. I have found myself a Man, and fully embraced my masculinity. I feel like I should now have a decree in psychology . I co-created a Mens support group and have been participating in various Mens groups. The biggest mistake I made in my marriage was that I put my wife on a pedestal. I pushed aside the things that I was to please her. I have learned to not take the communication from women at face value, but to read between the lines. I focus now on body language. This has made a huge difference. I have discovered that I am a mountain in the sea of femininity. Strong, Stable moving in the direction of my higher purpose never to be tossed to and fro from feminine storms. But to be there and enjoy the wonderful and beauty that lies in the storm. I have learned that just because a woman emotes to me whether angry, sad, happy, or any other; doesn't mean I am responsible or is to be blamed. Instead I am fully present, Listening and un-moving. I have had a few relationship since my divorce. All have been wonderful. All have been a testament to what I have become. I am currently with a one of a kind, beautiful, smart, sexy and feminine woman. I feel I have so much control in my relationship. I lead and she loves it. This came from learning to control myself and really feel my emotions and be completely in the present moment. My words fail what it is like now. I always know that I am ok in any situation. I now know I can handle anything that comes my way, specifically in relationships. I feel that I am truly a MAN, I feel as this man:

"In the midst of hate, I found there was, within me, an invincible love.
In the midst of tears, I found there was, within me, an invincible smile.
In the midst of chaos, I found there was, within me, an invincible calm.
I realized, through it all, that…
In the midst of winter, I found there was, within me, an invincible summer.
And that makes me happy. For it says that no matter how hard the world pushes against me, within me, there’s something stronger – something better, pushing right back.

Albert Camus”

Groov

That's an awesome update! Did your wife ever find what she's looking for?

She ended up marrying my Once best friend and business partner 3 months after he divorced. She has put on alot of weight and does not exhibit a happy demeanor. They built their relationship upon lies. I hope it lasts.... as for me the rope has been dropped... they both have a lot of work to do on themselves.

Groov