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You are doing great and you are such an inspiration...

^^^^nice post Up. you are really working hard to see things through and doing the best you can.

Thanks, it's been an emotional day today.

I know time & space is what's needed, I'm quite sure his feelings will resurface at some point, it's hard but I know I just have to let him go through this journey on his own. I'm just glad he's moving forwards emotionally as up until now he has been stood still with his head in the sand - tonight we cried together, he let himself be vunerable which is a huge step.

I also realised that our marriage as it was before is beyond saving, I would want a NEW relationship with my H not our old one, so it makes sense to let go & draw a line in the sand.

I hope one day he's ready and willing to invest in our marriage, regardless of that I need/want to get myself to a good place and find my identity again too.

Progress??

Well this morning H came to get the kids to take them swimming & invited me along so I decided to go for it, we went swimming then for lunch & a bit of shopping... It was hard at times because it was just like it used to be, we got on really well & all had a lovely day. O
n the way home he said "I've really enjoyed today" so I replied saying that I had too & I'm really going to miss these kind of days together, he said that he feels "like the pressure is off and feels much better that he's not worrying about the 'love' thing" so I'm not sure what that means?!

Now I'm home & sad again, I actually managed to forget all the crap for a little while today and I haven't done that in months! Back to reality

I'm really going to miss these kind of days together,

This comments are not necessary...
He can feel pressure by them...

he feels "like the pressure is off and feels much better that he's not worrying about the 'love' thing" so I'm not sure what that means?!
Who knows what that means, things are different now, enjoy how they are without analizing that much... Whenever he wants to be more clear he will be more clear....you had a great day? End of the story enjoy the great day and focus on the happy times... You see how one sentence its trying to sabotage what you have so hard accomplished?

Yeh I know what you mean, he agreed with me so don't think it was taken in a pressured way it's been a lovely day yes, makes me all the more sad that it may not happen again that's all.

Great to read other peoples stories to know that I won't always feel so low. Thanks for sharing, Upwards...