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artsy Offline OP
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Ugh!

Got a call at 9:15 from H that he's "stuck at work" and won't be able to pick me up for breakfast. This is disappointing, but what really got me was he then says, "I'll pick you up at _your_ house at 12:15."

WHY????? Why does he have to keep saying that and why do I let it get to me so much?

I have asked him SEVERAL times over the past few years to stop calling the house mine. And I have explained why it bothers me. Why add it in a phrase that doesn't require it. Where was I expect ting him to pick me up? Three houses down the street?

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! Seems like deliberate disrespect to me.


Me: 39
H: 45
Second marriage for both
H left 12/2013
M:4 T:5.5
Joined: Jan 2014
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artsy Offline OP
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I'm especially emotional today, in case you can't tell! :-/ I'd rather just drive myself to the d@nm appointment at this point.


Me: 39
H: 45
Second marriage for both
H left 12/2013
M:4 T:5.5
Joined: Jan 2014
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artsy Offline OP
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Just got back- he was very distant. Did not mention anything about my birthday being tomorrow...

Just documenting.


Me: 39
H: 45
Second marriage for both
H left 12/2013
M:4 T:5.5
Joined: Jan 2014
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artsy Offline OP
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Journaling:

Today is my birthday. I got lots of messages and cards from family and friends, which makes me happy. I'm in a lot of pain from the surgery yesterday- I did not sleep well and I'm irritable. Need to snap out of it so I can enjoy the day on some level!

H emailed me twice to see how I was feeling. Absolutely no mention of my birthday. Perhaps he forgot or it causes him guilt, or... Doesn't really matter, I guess. I had expectations (I know, I know), that H would at least acknowledge it somehow. He went all out 2 weeks ago for valentines day.

I want to go out for sushi, but I don't know if I can drive (my suture is really bothering me)

Having a bit of a pity party...


Me: 39
H: 45
Second marriage for both
H left 12/2013
M:4 T:5.5
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! smile So sorry you're spending it recovering from surgery though! I'm thinking that since your H went "all out" for Val Day a couple of weeks ago, it's very possible he forgot your bday. If you talk to him again you might work it into the conversation (say something like "wish I didn't have to spend my birthday laying here recovering"), if he really did forget then if he finds out after it's too late he'll be mad at himself and mad at you for not reminding him.

Do you have a friend you could call and ask to bring you sushi? I mean it is your bday, call in a favor or two, you deserve it!


Me: 60 w/ S18, D24, D27

M: 21 years; BD: 06-14-12; S: 09-10-12; D final: 03-17-14; XW:57
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artsy Offline OP
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Thanks, AS! smile I already called in my favor to a good friend by asking her to change the dressing on my suture (it's in the middle of my back, so I can't reach it). I think I may be pushing it by asking for food delivery Lol!!

I figure H forgot about the b-day, which just serves to give me a reality check...if he was here, it would have been obvious to him. But since he's not... :-/

I will take your advice, though. I'm not going to initiate contact, but if he touches base again, I will work it in.

Thanks, as always!!


Me: 39
H: 45
Second marriage for both
H left 12/2013
M:4 T:5.5
Joined: Jan 2014
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Happy Birthday Artsy! I'm sorry that you can't celebrate with sushi! I hope you feel better.


M45 H46
M16 yrs
D17, D10, D7
DB 1-23-2014
H filed D 2-14-2014
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artsy Offline OP
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Thank you, Mama! I just heated up some homemade vegetable soup- I'll treat myself this weekend to my sushi!!! smile


Me: 39
H: 45
Second marriage for both
H left 12/2013
M:4 T:5.5
Joined: Jan 2014
Posts: 456
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artsy Offline OP
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Got this text from H: "happy birthday...sorry it's only in the form of a text message".

What? I think I would have rather he forget about it. Then at least there wouldn't be a weird text. I have not responded yet- not sure what to say (besides just 'thank you')

I hate this.


Me: 39
H: 45
Second marriage for both
H left 12/2013
M:4 T:5.5
Joined: Jan 2014
Posts: 456
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artsy Offline OP
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Need to detach...

Detach

Detach

Mad at myself for having expectations. Hopefully that doesn't keep happening repeatedly before I "get it".


Me: 39
H: 45
Second marriage for both
H left 12/2013
M:4 T:5.5
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