wbw, I'm sorry that your d has been sick and had to go to the doctor's. I hope she's feeling a bit better today.
As for your h being supportive and caring, he's in his own little world now called "me, me, me". Yes, you would hope that he would care and want to be there for his children...but right now, he's not capable of doing so. You are expecting/hoping he'll do this...but you need to turn the dial way down on those expectations. His empathy chip is broken and until he gets his own life together, he's not going to have much in the way of attention for his children and you can't make him do so, unfortunately.
I'm sorry he wasn't there for her yesterday.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Today is just another day I will. I will buy myself some flowers. I will pay for the coffee of the person behind me in the Starbucks line. I think it is supposed to be sunny and warm today. Yea! I will rejoice and be glad!
M48 H50 M21 T26 S20 at college),S17,D15-cp, dev. delay- cogniv 5yrs old PA confirmed 7/2012 H separates 9/2012 H move home 2/13& 7/13 lasted 2weeks.ILYNILWY OW still in picture. h filed 10/13
another friend, 55, autistic high anxiety child, h moves out. I just can't get it. how do these people reconcile themselves to what they are doing? how is it possible for people to be so selfish? just makes me mad to now see my friend in the horrendous pain. For what?
M48 H50 M21 T26 S20 at college),S17,D15-cp, dev. delay- cogniv 5yrs old PA confirmed 7/2012 H separates 9/2012 H move home 2/13& 7/13 lasted 2weeks.ILYNILWY OW still in picture. h filed 10/13
They are weak. That's all it is - weakness. And because they are weak, they can't cope with the stresses and strains that come with life with a child with issues (or even that come with just the normal stresses of life, for many of our spouses). They become depressed, and then they become addicted to the "high" they find in a new relationship. Then, just like a cocaine addict, their behavior becomes all about seeking the "high" and they don't see the destruction their behavior is causing for their loved ones.
That weakness may be a moral failing, or a biological weakness, or both. In retrospect, my ex had all the signs of a dopamine addict. It's just when his method of obtaining that dopamine "high" switched from adventure sports to affairs that our marriage suffered.
The good news is, those of us who come here, are strong. Stronger than you know. We are the ones who stick it out through tough times. We are the ones who are our children's rocks.
thanks for that... its true , I know. I know I have always been a strong person. a person willing to look inside and to grow. I know the same is true of my friend, and of actually the other women I know in this sit. I know I have a strong faith. I look to that even more. I am sad and sorry for the pain our spouses feel.
M48 H50 M21 T26 S20 at college),S17,D15-cp, dev. delay- cogniv 5yrs old PA confirmed 7/2012 H separates 9/2012 H move home 2/13& 7/13 lasted 2weeks.ILYNILWY OW still in picture. h filed 10/13
