Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers Husband moved out...

Thank you Paul and AnotherStander. Yes, it is tricky and I only can do what I can on my side.
Right now I feel H is enjoying current situation. He no longer takes care of kids in the morning, usually morning time is the toughest because the kids are more fuzzy. He only takes care of them whenever he wants in the evening time. But I can't stop him from coming back home since he's still paying the mortgage. He claims it is still his house as well.
Another option is that H suggested to take the kids to his place three days a week. In that way he doesn't need to come back home any more, but he will be forced to spend more time with the kids. But I don't like the idea because I will not see my kids three days a week. I'm afraid that it is not goods for the kids. They will eat more junk foods, watch more Ipad, do less homework, and get less sleep as well. It will take about 20-30 minutes from his place to school. And I will miss them so much.
It is a dilemma and not easy to balance everything.
Maybe I am concerned too much?

H took the kids to his apartment but refused to tell me the address of the apartment. The kids didn't sleep over there. Do I have the right to know the address?

Thanks.

Yes you do have a right. Especially since they are so young. If he continues to resist, seek legal representation. He's trying to control the situation.

You can't control what happens over at his place (unless they're in danger), but he absolutely has to give you his new address- that's a legal requirement.

Hang in there...

I told him if you want to take kids your apartment, you need to let me know the address. He resisted again, and even threated me that you can call police if you want.
I guess he wants the kids to stay with him over there once or couple times a week, so the kids will get used to detach from mommy as well.

BTW, last night our younger kid wanted daddy to stay at home and sleep with him because he felt kind of scared from the movie he watched, but H only stayed until he fall into sleep. H lied to the kids that he needs to go to work early in the morning, that's why he couldn't sleep at home. He rewarded them small money for that. I feel H is so cold hearted now, even to the kids.

We argued again last weekend. H tried to push me to agree divorce and have 50-50 child custody. I told him that I still don't want divorce and for the sake of our kids, please think over the divorce again. He replied: "do you think I am kidding about the divorce?" I said I know you're serious, but I don't want our kids to be affected and they are so young, they need both daddy and mommy. H said that then 50-50 time share is pretty fair.

Some updates... I found lately H is very easy to get angry. Last night when H asked the kids to brush their teeth and go to bed, the kids still played and were slow to respond his request. H was so angry. He yelled at them, threw their toothpaste and broke it. Our older kid was kind of scared and cried, and the little one said to his dad: "dad, you need to control your anger." But H didn't listen to him; when I tried to comfort our older kid, he yelled at me as well.

I am afraid it will hurt our kids if this situation continues. I tried to talk to him about this issue, but he didn't listen to me. He claimed that that is the way how he takes care of kids. If I don't like it, he will not take care of them any more...

Any inputs/suggestions of how to deal with resentful/angry WAS?

Thanks in advance.

Like everyone has been telling you from Day one.

Detach and GAL.

You can't control him but you can remove yourself from the situation.