Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Midlife Crisis It's the final countdown...

Call the landlord and explain to him that you are not sure where he's located. If you can get the directions, ask him if it's okay to come over and get the key. Advise him that you want to start moving your stuff over this week so that you don't have all of it to do next weekend and besides...you never know what the weather will be.

If you have his full name, you can do a ZabaSearch.com and locate him that way. I know you are starting to feel like the walls are closing in, but you've got to turn every stone to get to this landlord. Evidently he's not one of those who responds to his messages very quickly.

Once you begin moving your belongings, you'll be able to walk thru the house and see if you've left anything behind. Right now, I'm sure you've got boxes everywhere while packing.

Breathe!

Got a hold of him. He was trying to make a copy of the key. He said he was gonna do it tonight. I can pick it up tomorrow after work. He should be at his office.

I am most concerned about moving the big things like beds and dressers. I have a curio that is all glass. It concerns me how to move that the most. And putting it all back together is going to be harrowing. I don't want to depend on H but he was the one who usually took care of things like that. Now I am really freaking out a bit.

H had told me to rent a trailer but I think I would rather have a covered uhaul. What if it snows or it's inclement? I still think maybe I should get a moving company at least for the heavy duty stuff. Thoughts??? I have moved several times but never had to do it all myself. Then again maybe it will be easier and less stressful without H around.

WH

I am so excited for you. You will see how much better it is once you are not dealing with xh daily.

I would try to have friends male and female help with the move. I think your x will be more of a headache then it's worth

I am trying not to contact my attorney as much in order to be cost efficient. Unfortunately, circumstances are not good at the moment. Surprise surprise. I knew it would not last.

H is off the walls mad tonight. He lashed out at me accusing me of opening all the windows on the second floor of the house. That's ridiculous. Its supposed to be below zero tonight. Why on earth would I freeze out myself and my kids?

He ordered S to ask me to get money for the school lunch account. I had had enough at that point and approached H and told him he was ordered to pay it. He said it was supposed to be a split cost and he had paid enough. He said I could help to pay it.

I asked him why he was being such a jerk to me? He said he found out his credit score is 4 points away from him not being able to refinance this house. I asked him why he told me last week things were good to go? He said he was approved but if he or I am late with one payment the house is in foreclosure.

I think he is bluffing but he is demonstrating threatening behavior toward me and bullying me into getting his way.

I need a strategy. He is being a jerk again. He's really freaking out. He told me I needed to get with my &$@!?: attorney and get our you know what's in gear.

Man I wish there was something we could do to shut him up. In the meantime he has filed the de novo with an "urgency clause". Lol!

He asked me who was helping me move and did he know these people? Lol. Why does he need to know that? I guess that means he isn't helping me move.

WH

WH

WH, keep track of all expenses related to the kids. My xh has also refused to share expenses, including medical and school costs, claiming he can't afford it, etc. This all started when his agenda changed. He bought a new house, car, appliances and likely other things that I'm not aware of. It's not going to look good when I present all of that along with proof that he paid over $1500 on his own teeth, but is refusing to split the boys' dentist bill which is minimal.

Your h's primary goal is keeping the house. I certainly hope the judge shoots down his desperate motion to reduce support. Have you made a current list of the new expenses you will have so that you can present them? I can't believe that your h fought so hard to get you out of the house and now he can't afford it. I can't imagine the judge will be happy with that. Since your name is on the loan I would request proof of payment each month until he refinances.

I am so glad that you are moving within days. Keep your h out of your new home. He will likely try to keep tabs on you and your spending. You might also set up communication parameters, limiting your contact to once a week, kids and finances only or whatever works for you. I think your h is going to continue to lash out at you. He doesn't show any respect to you and will likely think that he can disturb your peace by calling whenever he wants. I hope I'm wrong.

WH, this sounds like typical panic behaviour on his part.

They just can't cope.

It gets too much to deal with, though, after so long, I know.

There is a limit to how much nuttiness and nastiness one person can take.

Try not to let it get you down.

My L has said that he believes that my XH will not stop or settle until he is ordered by a judge.
In other words, he is the sort of person who will not agree to anything that comes from me or my L.

Yours sounds the same.
They will keep going and going until they get slapped down by authority.

Thanks guys. My lawyer has a budget set up for me. We have ran the numbers and our numbers were only $100 off from what the court commissioner set.

He came back later and apologized. It wasn't sincere. He was just trying to scare me into believing we will have to foreclose on the house if he cant reduce my payment.

So why should my kids and I run short? H has many bills that can be reduced. The directTv payment is over $200 a month. The electric bill is $300. The gas bill is another $100. His car payment is $500. His gasoline bill is through the roof. He has Sirius satellite radio and who knows what else? And I am supposed to tighten my belt? Maybe he should learn to live within his means? And who is to say even if I sign off on the support that he will be able to keep the house? It's just not a wise financial decision to keep this house.

But it's status for H. And he says he is not materialistic.

Giving it to God and waiting for Godot.

WH

So GM, how did you find out all this stuff your H had purchased? He didn't disclose it, did he? How did you go about your discovery?

WH

A Samuel Beckett classic.

: D

WH