Wow, that is interesting and sorry you are going through this again for now a 3rd time. I definitely will do things different this time. After being gone 8 months he decided he wanted to come back. I can say a week prior he was still now way not ever getting back together and then bam he wants back. I let him come right back. H did say he wanted to try to make it work for the kids and did want to be with me but wasn't ILWM yet but eventually it came back. My sitch is H had an EA ig caught and he stopped then a year or so we got in a huge fight and he left and never came back. H hot an OW dduring that time. H was tired of all the fighting and not getting a long. And I am not the best house keeper and he hated that. I tried really hard to not fight and keep the house clean. With at the time 7 year old twins. H was the golden boy as a kid and did nothing for himself except work with tools with his grandpa. A Little Leave it to Beaver,lol
This last time he left over a few weeks of nasty fights. During that time he went to his 20 year reunion and reconnected with a girl. Had a EA for about 2 mos. Love of his life, soul mate, etc, etc.. They ended it because of too much drama on my part he said. Mind you she was married too and lived 3 hours away! We are getting a long for the most part and he is happy because we are doing an online not contested divorce... H though I had a BF, i was dating but no BF. But I just went with it. When I had him H was really nice and chatty. I said I was no longer talking to OM. H has kind of backed off. I see no softening in him as far as movement back but its only been 3 months this time. Last time he moved everything he had out. Most everything is still here and most of his clothes. Keeps saying he's coming to get it and doesn't????
Anyway, yes we will just have to see. Did you DB the whole time? No contact??
M15 T19 D13 S13 BD Affair 9/13 S 11/13 D started 6/14.. dropped court date 10/14 H attorney can't get it together. Still with long distance ow. Still hates me.
Oh man...I think my computer is in MLC as I just typed a whole response and a stupid ad came up and I tried to x it out and the whole thing shut down! Grrrrr!!!!
Anyway, quick answers to your questions...when he left the second time, I had found DB and yes, mostly no contact unless it was about kids...
I did DB while he was gone and the first year or so after he came home! I noticed that both of us fell back into our old selves and he was in and out...he would seem happy and want to do stuff with family and other times not! Has never really connected with his grand kids (my step-son's kids). I think he is afraid of getting old but yet afraid of NOT getting old...both his parents died in early 50's and he turned 55 today!
Are you doing 180's?
BD-Aug 2009 OW Confirmed H moves out Dec 2009 D filed by H-Mar 2010 H asks to come home April 2011 BD AGAIN 1-15-2014! H seeing FOW! H ran away again! 1-18-2014
Love when that happens!! I have done 180 but not a lot and well. I am vowing to do a 180 starting now with no contact... We were supposed to meet tonight so he could finally get his clothes etc and do some paperwork. Then he called and said he can't come because his roommate had to go to work and he had to stay with his kid. I lost it because this was a constant in our marriage. Everyone and or everything came before me. H would have to reschedule or cancel postpone whatever all the time!!!
I am doing no contact because I am so mad at him and everyday he reminds me why we are divorcing and what went wrong. Kind of makes it easier lol..
Anyway no contact is something I have never done, even before....I am searching my my heart and soul deeply to see if I really want to even try. I am thinking I want it over this time. I think this might be why there aren't many 2nd times. They just say screw it!!
Whew I guess I am venting today
M15 T19 D13 S13 BD Affair 9/13 S 11/13 D started 6/14.. dropped court date 10/14 H attorney can't get it together. Still with long distance ow. Still hates me.
