Will somebody explain to me this "popcorn and wine" bit? I've been hearing that a lot lately. I just can't put those 2 things together as enjoyable "together", each alone, sure, but...
Sorry to hijack...
In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus
Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm
Haha, yes, I should have said popcorn and bear, right? Sorry, I don’t drink soda except for a couple times a year, on occasion. I’m trying to lose a few pounds, so I substitute beer for white wine. I would not have popcorn with red wine though.
M:50 H:52 S28 (my S from previous marriage) M:17 + 3 BD: 06/12 S: 06/12 - H works in another state
Following along, am proud of you for stepping up and letting go. I know how hard that must have been.
If he ever gets his act together and wants to try, well, that door may or may not still be cracked...your choice...
But either way, you aren't waiting around for him. He may not know what he wants, but you do.
And that's a very good thing
PS - hey T2, I think the popcorn is something for us to munch on during the often quite entertaining MLC Crazyville Show. The wine helps get us through acts I, II, III, IV, V, VI, VII, etc... You get the picture! Lol!
Bomb January 2012 - doesn't feel the same about me
~ "There is nothing love cannot face; there is no limit to its faith, hope, and endurance."
That was, to H s knowledge, the culmination of a few days thought.
We here know that I have been walking myself to this for a few months now.
Not easy, but I said what had to be said and let him know that if he wanted to try to ask.
Well he did. He told me he loved me and would not be in this relationship if he didn't want to be here, he also stated that we have kids, financials and are best friends, so he didn't know what something else would look like. I explained that we would parent together, that I would give up our joint activities and we could come to an agreement on the finances.
Notice I left out the best friends bit....
While we talked, I said that while I understood his fear of falling back into the same thing, of him giving until nothing is left and his need to make others happy at his own expense, that he was holding something back. That while I did not need a declaration of 100% in, that I needed more! but did not know exactly what that was! only that I was missing something I could not articulate either.
We both agreed that he was not sure what he could give and I was not sure what I could accept to make this work. That we had to meet half way, but we both were not sure what that looked like or entailed.
I asked if he would see a couples counsellor to give us some ideas on how we could go about this, since neither of us had the tools to do it ourselves. He said absolutely, although it might take a few sessions or counsellor a until we find one that is a fit for us ( his words).
The upshot is I am happy with the fact that I set out what I feel and that this is not enough. It allowed him to be able to open up and say that he is giving what he can. Hopefully we can go forward from here.
Whew! Awesome. Way to hang in there! So H is open to growing together and exploring what that might look like. I'm likin' his turn around time!
Ya done good girl. Both of you.
Bring me a glass... leave the bottle.
Me(F):40 WAW:44 T:13yrs M:9yrs BD:2/12 (I saw a text) ILYBINILWY: 5/12 PA admission: 12/12 (began 3/11) S:2/13 Moves in w/AP D begins: 7/13 W moves home to R: 10/13
Liking the turn around time that is....we will see.
But it felt soooo good to state what I wanted. And it felt really good to have the tools to do so in a way that was non judgemental and left me feeling good instead of angry and mad.
