Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Midlife Crisis It's still football season-when's my bye week?

Hi Mnt Man, I've been reading thru your threads the past coulpe of days, and just wanted to let you know how much I sdmire your love, loyalty and steadfastness. 

You're the rock of sanity and stability for your boys right now. You're doing great in a horrible situation. The poor kids sound so devastated already. I hope and pray W realizes what she's doing to them, and does not take that new job. Or move in with that trashy woman. 

"She no longer considers any long term consequences. I hope I can lead her to these answers without pushing."

Pushing wouldn't help, it would probably just make her feel more justified for leaving. But I agree with the others, you can valudate her statements without making her feel you agree with her. My DB coach Chuck told me to try saying something like "you know I do not like what you are doing H, but understand how you feel"

Hang in there, MM. 

Mtnman

{{{{{{{<3 <3 <3}}}}}}'s

I'm making it day by day. I've had several good chats with the boys about maintains faith and trusting God. They seem to be managing better.

W and I had a talk last night about S6. He is more emotional than normal and easily frustrated. It was a very good conversation. And, apart from the subject matter, completely normal. I explained to her that I thought it was our situation and that his emotions are bubbling just below the surface. She agreed. We are going to watch him to see how he does. I suggested counseling but she ignored it.

There is nothing easy about seeing the woman you love day after day, and not being able to tell her or touch her. Looking forward to better days. Keeping the faith. Not losing long-term hope.

Hi Mm! You're doing great! I'm glad W is still able to talk with you about the sons even if she is in this fog.

I remember last Christmas when I was so desparate and turned to a long-time mutual guy friend that loves both me and H. We talked for an hour on the phone and he kept reiterating "your H is in a fog" and telling me to be strong and that when H comes out of the fog that I would be there bright and shining like the light to draw him home.

And he was right...my H DID come out of the fog! And I WAS there!

And this man told me all the DB concepts without having been to DB 101 !! Look and smell good, don't worry about what he is doing or has done, be patient, know that if you come out of this wih a R like none other (even if it takes years) it'll be worth it.

This is a man that looked for love for years in the wrong places and knows how valuable a true loving R can be!

So...idk if it helps you at all this morning. You're going through he!! For the one you love, for your boys, for yourself, for your faith ... without a guarantee of expected reconciliation. I can tell you I applaud you for staying the course and I really understand how hard it is.

Thinking of you today, Mm,
rH

RH, would you please visit my current thread?

Mtn.man

You are granite, and your boys are very fortunate. You will always be remembered by them as the best role model, and dad.
Sending hugs ((()))

Thanks rH and ambivalent!

One of my gifts/faults is that I never give up. It's definitely a two edged sword.

Ambivalent I've been reading your recent posts. I've been where you are except that I remained quiet. S9 informed me is how I found out. Stay strong. (((A))).

How are you doing, Mnt Man? Worried about you......

Been thinking of you, too, Mtnman. How was your weekend?

Mtnman,

Thanks for dropping by my thread. I love the title of your thread. Football is my passion. I've just caught up on your sitch and just want to reiterate what others are saying here about your strength. Stay strong for your boys and for yourself. It's a disgusting bumpy ride we are on, but only men of great resolve are up to the challenge. Keep fighting and keep those boys safe.

Years ago, in a discussion about faith, I had a friend ask me what my purpose in life was, what I lived for every day. I responded quickly and honestly that I live every day for my family and to be a good father to my children. That rings very true in my current sitch. As men, we can teach our sons how to deal with adversity and how to be a real man in today's world full of pretenders, philanderers, and punks.

Stay strong and bust on!

Thanks rosa, rH, and JFun!

I've been doing ok. Still hurt everyday same as before lol. My weekend was busy which is always good. Friday evening froze my tail off with my brother at a high school football game but that's what I truly enjoy. You can't beat cold weather football. Saturday attended a men's breakfast at church and took my boys, then coached the seasons last soccer game that afternoon. Watched ballgames the rest of the day.

Sunday was church and then took the boys, their friends and my brother down to the high school to play football. Had a really fun time except S6 is still melting down too easy.

Basketball started this week and both boys are playing. One or both have practice everyday. Fun, fun!!!

W is going out of town tomorrow for the weekend. Don't know where or with who. Hurts to think about. I also have her stated financial split date of November 1 in my head. It hasn't been mentioned since four weeks ago but part of me wonders if I should send her a bill tomorrow for half the boys expenses and tell her she is on her own when it comes to hers. So I either force the issue or let things continue as "normal." Would love to her suggestions.

Going as a family out tonight for Halloween. W texted me asking thoughts on what she should dress up as. We worked on a few things.

It continues to be a struggle not to grab her(affectionately) or tell her how I feel. I miss my W. Day by day. I will not give up.