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Would love to hear your 7 page piece.

My thoughts are with you today.

<3<3<3<3's

I hope all went well... or is going well. *positive thoughts to you*

How'd it go?????

THANK YOU for all your prayers and support....I could feel it in the room:)
So this will be long winded as it's journaling as well as letting you know how it went. Let's just say H was LIVID when he left the room. I haven't seen him with that much anger since he left me.

Got to the court house and remembered that H had come into the marriage with $30K in debt (approx) and asked my lawyer if that could help any. She said a resounding yes! All four of us were out side the room waiting (I looked GOOD! professional yet attractive and H looked cocky, but I could see right through him, and his tie had been retied at some point and was uber wrinkly under the knot:) My L mentioned the money to H's L and he was taken aback, as was H, his L said this was the first time I've heard of this and my lawyer said the same thing. He asked H about it and H stammered "yes". We sat at the table and then H tried saying that the $26,500 my parent's gave me was a gift to "us" and not an inheritance. I looked him directly in the eye and said "When my father gave me the cheque he was very clear that we would not see another penny until my sister's had received their portion of the inheritance" My L then said he did agree to that correct? I said "Yes! when we met at the starbucks in May (L clarified after separation) I asked you about my inheritance and you said Yeah, you'll get it back" my lawyer than said, did you say that? H "yes, but..." cut off by his lawyer saying then it's her inheritance and she gets it back.....which was also reiterated by the judge. (FANTASTIC JUDGE...she read him from the moment it started!) Then H's L tried saying the inheritance was new info and my L piped in that it was in the opening letter to him and said here is a copy of that for you to see. He then tried giving the judge our background.....H is 38 blah blah blah. W is blah blah blah and S19 has separation anxiety and S14 has ADHD and ODD. H and I were both confused and then I piped up S19 is the one with ADHD/ODD and LD S14 has separation anxiety and we are currently testing for ADHD and LD. (two strikes against his L) THEN IT GOT UGLY......H's lawyer said I was using the kids agains H, etc, etc, etc. I sat a little straighter, took a deep breath and rung my hands until they were white. Not a word did I say. My L said something to the affect I would like H to stop asking the boys about the whereabouts and activities of my client. Topic was changed. A lot about money.....most of it was about money. H complained that he did not have the money to pay my proper spousal and child support because he was paying the visa and his L argued I should pay some as it's family debt. My L countered with my client pays the entire mortgage which is $600 more a month then your client. Also, family debt (basically whats the point here?!?!) Then his L tried telling me that S19 was an adult and working full time, basically support should be nil or go directly to S19. S19 had said he;d be working 30ish hours a week while doing a full work load...HELLOOOOOOOOO I looked at the judge. Your Lady, it may very well be S19 said that, but he has a tendency to over promise in situations like this. He has no idea what is involved in post secondary, it's not high school, and he may very well think he can but I know, as his mother, that when the stress hits and the LD and ADHD kicks in he will quickly melt and I feel it should be revisited in January once he has a clearer understanding of what he's getting in to. H's L then tried telling me that S19 was able to move out, etc, my L asks me if he's planning on doing so and I looked right at H's L and said "My son is not going anywhere!" He kept pushing and I said again "My son will live at home. He is NOT going anywhere" Judge moved us forward.
Back to the mortgage and H (he's getting angrier now) says "I'm giving this up and she'll sell the house in 20 years for more money" I responded "because I'm paying the mortgage (and my L says and the taxes and the maintenance) and let's be clear here I'm not doing this to be rich in 20 years. It has nothing to do with money. Our boys are struggling and have begged me to stay in the house which is what I am trying to do for them!" Judge did some quick calculations and said "You will have quite a mortgage..." H's L "that's what we're wondering....(basically how did I qualify)" My L "she has backers and will be renting out rooms" at which point I said "I also am applying for a 35 year amortization" "I won't be here in 35 years will you?" Your Lady this is not the big plan. I have a five year plan to stay in the home. My sons are struggling greatly and to move them from their home and surroundings and school would be devetating to the them. I need to stay in the house five years. Get S14 graduated and settled into post secondary and get them comfortable with their new lives. In five years I will sell the house and buy a condo" She was was happy with my plan. Then came S14's tuition H doesn't want to pay it and said he had met with the school principal 3 weeks ago to learn I had applied for a bursary through my church. I said I didn't have a choice....I cannot afford the tuition on top of everything else......at which point the judge said "You cannot expect charitable money to pay your section 7 (children's needs above and beyond child support) obligations" shut down. It was then agreed that H would pay me a lesser child support and spousal and I would try and assume the mortgage with that. Once I assume the mortgage I will pay off the credit cards and give h his share remaining......I then said to the judge that due to H's past financial history I was uncomfortable handing him money while there was still a question of him back owing me $10,000 in child/spousal support. His L was mad but they both conceded that $5000 would go into trust until that was all figured out. It was then made an order as of Jan 1 I would get that money with the understanding that as soon as the cc were paid off we would be coming back for the rest of my child support and spousal (we were conceding that we would take lesser now but would get it back) at which H vigorously shook his head "no" but no one acknowledged him. Then they started on pension and RRSP's and H was cooked/done! (someone should have asked me cause I saw that well before he blurted out) "I don't care about her RRSP's I don't want them.....looks at his lawyer.....I'm sorry but I don't care!" L starts back pedaling that's how you feel now, blah, blah, blah, our time was up so we started to clean up to leave. H leaves behind L and my L says thank you L and nice to meet you H H barely turns to acknowledge her and does not even look at me.....bat outta hell!

We leave the room and have a brief meeting. She said I did really well. She said the judge sees you're the brighter of the two and that you will be just fine and make a go of this. Judge made a comment about a waste of lawyer fees, would be better for the kids during the meeting, and I bring that up to my L and say "I just wanted to say IT'S NOT ME!! I have not started any of this!! that I'm apalled at the amount of money!" and my L says "That wasn't for you dear.....that was for H. She can't appear to be biased but wanted him to know to fight this would only cost him more money." She felt really, really good about it and it made me feel so much better.

Still far ways to go but I'm feeling better in my own skin and I'm guessing I'm currently on H's hit list. SOOOOOO ANGRY

Oh I made eye contact with H a few times one time being when my L produced the letter from my Dr saying I cannot work full time due to my health issues......He smirked at me. I held his gaze.....basically said "I told you I wouldn't help you but doesn't mean I'm going to roll over and let you s9rew me and the boys to a wall.......welcome, to exactly what you asked for.

Later, as H played poor me, with his rent my L looked at his L and said "please inform your client that his duties to his wife and children supersede any other commitments"

Attagirl!! Well done, WR.

WR: 2
Peter Pan: Zilch!

One other thing you would be good to remember to do the next time you guys meet in January is to say "our son(s)", instead of "my son(s)" so it will hit home that H needs to step up to the plate and provide for his sons! And H can't really make it all about you, right? It'll make him look bad to 'appear' fighting against his sons well-being and security.

Again, thumbs up to you and your lawyer! Sounds like a real winner to have in your corner.

P.S. Your H is a real dumbass!

Thanks Wonka!!!

I normally used their names, so everyone undertood we were talking about actual human beings with names (old teaching trick) I deliberately used "my son" in that instance so he completely understood, and everyone in the room, that I was mamma bear and you'd better know your sh1t if you're going to talk to me about them. Strike one mixing up who was who. Strike two when you accused me of using them. Strike three, telling me he would move out and was an adult not deserving of support, meant that I needed him to know I wasn't messing around anymore

Sounds like it really DID go as well as could be expected... you got a judge with their head on straight and your L sounds like they kicked some major butt for you.

Holy Shidz!

You Rock White!

What was all that stuff you were worried about? I can't remember now.