Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers One giant leap forward! - Part 9

T,

I knew S4 was autistic but I didn't realize he was 'like a 2 year old' and wouldn't realize he was picking out a gift for mom and make the connection when she opened it that he bought it.

Sounds like you are handling everything exactly the way you need to.

Okay......enough of this. We want to hear from you!

Lol, sorry been quite busy, which is nice!

I have meant to update this week and thought about it every day but something crops up.

I tried Skyping the kids this week but W's laptop wouldn't let me see them so we tried on a tablet and I could see them but them not see me. It was frustrating but I did get to see and hear a bit of them.

The next morning I got this from W:
W: The boys Christmas carol service is on Friday 13th Dec at 2pm if you're gonna come watch them.
M: Okay I will see if I can make it. I'm concerned it might upset/confuse them, me turning up on a Friday and leaving without them.
W: Yeah I thought about that too. I'm just informing you of the date. The decision is yours.
Me: Would I be able to take them for dinner after it?
W: Yes...we can all go. Might be good for them.
Me: Yes okay.

Later in the evening:
W: Had a bit of a weird feeling about you this week. Probably all in my head and I know I'm the last person you'd ever speak to but if you did I'm here.
(I ignored this)


The next day:
W: Hi. I'm not going to be able to drive the kids up on that Thursday now. With the type of insurance I took out I'm only allowed to do a certain amount of miles and I cant do the 320 miles in one month going to (T1000's town) and then (vacation) so if you're wanting me just to collect them on my way on the Monday then we can do.
Me: Okay I will pick up and you collect the Monday.
W: Ok. I'll meet you at the motorway on the Monday afternoon. Guess it turns out better for you after all as you now get two extra days with them.
Me: What about your family meal on the Sunday?
I will be coming for the kids Friday morning most likely.
Are you sure that this is not going to change?
W: You're turning down to have them an extra night?
Me: I would love to have them Thursday night but I won't finish early enough to pick them up
W: Thought you were finishing early?
Me: I am but it's not early enough to get the kids, that why I wanted them bringing.
W: Ok
Me: Can you make sure S4's tablet is charged for tomorrow? Last time it went flat before we left (W's town).
Also could you dig out the spare key for my car please.
W: I did charge it!!!!! I mentioned before that it is NOT charging properly! I do not have your key. I gave you your car key back when you gave me mine back.
Me: Maybe it's your charger?? Seemed fine for me.
Okay, thought you still had it, never mind.
W: Of course it works fine for you!!!!! Everything bloody does these days.
Me: What is that supposed to mean? I can't help it if it does work for me.
Skyping didn't exactly go my way did it?

This is where it is as of writing. It's obviously turning into an argument so I will bail if she comes back negatively.

So as you can see all that back and forth about me not having the kids until the Monday the other week, I booked an extra day off work which ultimatley led to a lot off alterations at work as Friday was our last day and now it's Thursday.
Just like that!
It's that ridiculous I can hardly even raise a reaction in my head never mind anywhere else.

I'm so detatched from her right now, that my detchment a few weeks ago was next to nothing (if that makes sense )
I don't want to upset her but I also don't have any expectations at all. It feels great!

I was invited out last Saturday by a friend to go out with all his gym frineds. I looked good and had a great night.
There was a girl there that I got talking to, we ended spending the next 22 hours together and had an absolute blast.
It was the best night out I've ever had and makes me realize why other people enjoy it.
She's only 24 which feels kinda young, she is nothing like W and not what I would normally go for but there is something about her. She has her head screwed on and we can talk about anything.
I'm doing my best to not get too engulfed the attention but it is nice to have so much interest and there's no hoops!

I saw her again last night, we went for dinner and just chatted. Might see her early next week.
I will admit this has helped even more with my attatchment.

I'm not sure how I move forward with her without it getting complicated if that is even possible.
It's good to see a different perspective spending time with a woman, somethings make me really question what the hell was going on with my life and how much W tried to twist and turn me.

I'm sure I have forgotten lots but thats it in a nutshell.

I might have left the last line off about the charger but that's easy to say in retrospect.

I'm happy for you T, you didn't go the victim-y tit-for-tat route! YOu were in control of yourself.

It's good that you're happy.

I'm glad you got to experience what it could be like to see a sane woman.

WOOHOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

Well deserved, just a word of caution- those 24yo's are alot of fun just protect yourself (especially emotionally).

Keep it fun and keep it light

ENJOY

Good to hear from you, T!
Sounds like you enjoy life at the moment! Keep on doing exactly that!

This came comepletely out of the blue, we haven't discussd the cats in weeks.

W: I put (cat she sort of adopted) onto dry food and all she is allowed is 35g. Cost next to nothing to feed her. And a girl I know who works at a vet says cats done need injections every year. The cat's shouldn't cost you much to keep them.
Me: They deserve to be loved by their owner. That isn't gonna come from me. I don't see why you can't give them a home, they're your babies.
W: You don't love anyone but yourself! Right, I'll have them after New Year.

1 hour later...

W: Are you actually made of stone!!!!! You are the most, selfish, motionless and heartless boy I've ever come across..wtf is wrong with you!

She may be partially right, nothing she says registers anymore, it's just hot air.

I was in the car before and 'Endless Love' came on, I sung to it and enjoyed the song. It had no meaning to my situation with W at all. It was nice to not have that burden.

She is trying hard to push your buttons. It makes her angry that it isn't working. Just continue being cool, calm & collected. When you don't let her get under your skin, you are able to laugh at her.

Round and round she goes!

Sandi said it all!