Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Midlife Crisis I'm not afraid to take a stand.......

WR

I have caught up on your thread. You H is on Santa's naughty list for sure. And not the fun naughty list either.

I am sorry that he is putting you through this now. He is playing on your emotions. He is expecting WR to give in. Honey, you are going to show him that he is dead wrong.

If you think you will be OK to meet with him, I think you should. Agree to nothing and make it clear to him that you are there to listen to his proposal and then will consider what he has said. It will be tough if he pressures you. Have you got a phrase or a song that makes you feel strong? Play that in your head if you meet with him. You are there to listen, not negotiate.

Another suggestion would be to ask him to write down his proposal and you can meet to discuss it. Again, only to discuss it.

After that meeting - whether or not he has his proposal written down - give your lawyer a shout to discuss what he has said. Ultimately, I would have your lawyer draw up any papers that need to be signed and/or filed. There will be some Provincial requirements that your lawyer will be aware of.

The good thing about the meeting with just the two of you is that it will allow you to gauge whether or not you require your lawyer to do the negotiating for you. Keep your court dates. If nothing else, the Court will endorse the record that you have attended. The Court will never be angry if there are delays to work things out or to attempt to work things out. The Court is not too fond of cancellations. The Court also hates dead beat dads and this is a chance to get that on the record as well.

WR whatever you decide, I know that you will do the right thing for you and your kids.

Hi Portia

Hahahaha. He gets a piece of coal up his a$$ I tell ya!

I like the idea of asking him to provide me with a list. Although, I haven't heard back from him since his
"I can do it without a lawyer if you'll be fair" message. I don't plan on messaging him back either

My lawyer would look over everything. I wouldn't make a move without her approval.

The more I think about it the more I believe he's really broke. He probably can't afford Christmas presents for the kids, I bought EVERYTHING, last year. He's miserable in his barren basement suite and his mommy and sister have to make his dinner. I think job was right in that he talked to his lawyer and was told you're SOL buddy. You're going to be forced to pay up and pay me.....the judge won't care.

I just wasn't expecting this today....I know I keep saying it but was shocked. And I think, even though I denied it, there was a little candle of hope in my heart.
I was doing so well too

No One EXPECTS the Spanish Inquisition!!!

I'm sorry White. Leave your candle of hope lit. Don't blow it out. Keep it lit for you, not him. Not to mention the fact, if he never comes outta this--you can use it to light him on fire.

"I was doing so well."

You can get back to that place. You can.

This is his crazeee. Let him have it. You don't have to do anything you don't want to do. Zip. Zero. Find what fits for you and hold to it. He is blowing in the wind today.

I spent a few minutes meditating today. I laid on my back, closed my eyes and took long, deep breaths in through my nose and out my mouth. It helped.

Do whatever will bring you piece of mind. Put yourself and your heart first today. You can do this--whatever you decide. You have friends.

Love to you,

Heather

you're right, heather, no one does.

Yeah, ill light him on fire and allow Tenant, (he's a fire fighter) to take the hose to him.....and considering H was extremely jealous of tenant last year it is the perfect full circle moment!!!!

I'm calming down now, thanks to all my friends here, talking me off the ledge. I've been so busy I can't get to yoga Thursday nights but maybe I can make it this week as I don't work in the day.

Thank you
Love you all

Hey WR

I have found making a list of what I need to discuss helps me to keep focus.

Also when husband is speaking , I write things down.

It helps me to remember, and not interject .

Whatever you decide, hugs going out...<3

WR,
Just checking to see how you are doing this morning. I hope you were able to get some rest.

Please remember that mlcers do not play fair. They are only out for themselves and what they can get. As they say "they are out for number one".

I do hope that you are feeling better today and don't worry, you have your lawyer to get you through this, as well as the forum members are here to help any way that they can.

Mlcers tend to knock on our doors when we least expect it, especially around the holidays. Your h is lonely, broke, living in a dive and most likely missing the family that is going on w/o him. Of course, he's not looked in the mirror and realized that he is the one that put him in the position he's in.

You've got something he wants and if he wants it bad enough, he'll do what is necessary to get it. Don't give in to his bullying or nasty verbal attacks.

Hang in there.

Hi ladies.

Ambiv, yes, I'll need to make a list as IF we were to meet then it could easily go off the rails.

Job, had a bit of a toss and turn kinda night. It's been a while since I've woken up so many times.

Butter cup called this morning, 7:40am, to talk to S14. He only said "I was wanting to talk to S14" I said I was just about to wake him up, no response, and he asked S14 when he was going to get the Christmas gift list. S14 said he was working on it. I asked s14 if he didn't want to give his dad a list, H's been asking for a couple of weeks now, but he said that he was working on it. He gave me his list a month ago....so I'm not sure. I did tell him that he needs to give his dad a different list then what he gave me.

No word on meeting,either by text or phone, since his last message to me. I'm guessing he figures it's in my court. I did email my lawyer last night to let her know his request. To ask her opinion and to assure her I wouldn't agree to anything or sign anything without her opinion

I guess that was yesterday and today we'll see who shows up to the party. I'm still low, I'm working on getting back to where I was Sunday,.....I do think he saw my fb status, or someone told him, and my profile pic and some of the stuff I posted with the boys and he deliberately sent me a message to bring me down. He is miserable. How could he not. Be?

Going to make some Christmas orders up, S19 wants me to take him shopping to pick out some clothes for his Christmas party, and I may have time to start decorating the inside of the house.

Thank you for checking in!!

Just got a
"So how do you see this working?"
Text from h

Take a breath.

I love the vague texts. God forbid they should be specific and ask about what they want to ask...

To do what do you refer???

WR,

You can ask H for clarification on what he was asking about as you don't want to mindread his very vague text.